Nice guys finish last...

[man on the hill]

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Ive actually been told im too nice by some people before, like its a bad thing , a few of them even my own family members

 

[this_portrait]

Nothing wrong with being a nice guy. Nobody likes an a**hole. There is such a thing as being too nice, though. What's best is to be nice, but at the same time be assertive.

 

[Aletheia]

Lies.

I grew out of my bad boy phase at 13.

Nice to me means being able to look out for others, and that often translates into being a good boss and coworker and into being able to look after clients. Those are all things that help you get ahead in life, and earn you a good reputation and hence repeat business.

I think self-centered bastards end up shooting themselves in the foot. And have to live with themselves.

 

[MikeyC]

There is such a thing as being too nice, though.

I think this is where I fail, and I'm instantly friend-zoned.

I think self-centered bastards end up shooting themselves in the foot. And have to live with themselves.

Then why do I see all these idiot males with hot girlfriends? The world doesn't add up! ::

 

[Remus]

I don't buy it. I mean, what exactly is nice? Someone nice would not call themselves nice, they would be too modest. They probably wouldn't even think they were nice. Niceness is judged by others. Maybe it's agreeable guys finish last? Maybe that's what 'too nice' means?

 

[Aletheia]

Then why do I see all these idiot males with hot girlfriends?

Do they get married? Do they stay married?

Also, eh how do I put this: there are hot girlfriends who are too shallow to care.

Are you too shallow to care whether she cares or not?

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Some so-called nice guys that I have met were not so nice after all. I don't like to group people into either a "nice" or "bad" category (I do struggle with black and white thinking though so that is sometimes a challenge). It is just not fair or accurate. We all have nice and bad in us.

 

[MikeyC]

Maybe it's agreeable guys finish last? Maybe that's what 'too nice' means?

I agree!

Wait....

Do they get married? Do they stay married?

Also, eh how do I put this: there are hot girlfriends who are too shallow to care.

Are you too shallow to care whether she cares or not?

I see your point. My friend and I always seem to point out couples where the females clearly look like they're "settling," but of course we're going from a purely physical standpoint. We don't know their personalities at all.

I don't care if a hot girl doesn't particularly like me physically...if that's what you were asking.

 

[Aletheia]

I don't care if a hot girl doesn't particularly like me physically

Actually, I meant she wouldn't care that you were a bastard because she was only interested in the money.

 

[MikeyC]

Actually, I meant she wouldn't care that you were a bastard because she was only interested in the money.

Ah, I see. Well, relationships like that would fail quick when there's no real attraction there.

Also I have no money, so it'll never happen! ::

 

[BlackPuma]

I think this is where I fail, and I'm instantly friend-zoned.


Then why do I see all these idiot males with hot girlfriends? The world doesn't add up! ::

Though, we mustn't forget that girls can be douche bags too. The mean/bad guys might get pretty girlfriends, but that doesn't mean by definition they're good girlfriends. Which is something that only shines through when you've actually spend some one-on-one time together.

For all we know she's the exactly female equivalent of the guy she's with.

 

[Aletheia]

For all we know she's the exactly female equivalent of the guy she's with.

This is what I was getting at, only Puma put it much better.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

I like nice guys, but I think the problem is that some nice guys let others walk all over them because of lack of confidence. Girls like confidence and unfortunately some of the men who display such confidence are also big jerks.
Also, this reminds me of that video on YT:

Nice Guys - YouTube

 

[Kiwong]

I don't think nice guys finish last. Good people around the word develop the respect of those that matter. And at least if you try to do thing the right thing then you can sleep at night.

 

[KiaKaha]

I think what women are particularly attracted to is CONFIDENCE.

Unfortunately for me, I have none...but lets remain objective here.

One part of me is baffled by female behaviour... I fear I may generalize by this statement. Perhaps my own confirmation bias is clouding my judgement... but I have noticed that some females tend to go after guys who are emotionally distant and abusive. This leads me to believe that the men who are like that have that alpha male disposition that women seem to like....there is often a fine line between confidence and arrogance...its hard to discern.

On the other hand, there are some women out there who can appreciate someone a bit more sensitive and caring. I do not believe for one second that females enjoy being treated like dirt... I think there is a innate desire to be with a man that can protect and provide for her (and her babies)... which is why "nice" guys arent as appealing...because nice guys is often synonymous with being walked all over.

I think the question of what "nice" actually means needs to be answered too. I am not even sure what constitutes as nice anymore.

I have always wanted to learn how to be confident without being arrogant. I fear that if I try to be confident, that I may be being rude.

I just try to be a good person. Whether or not someone likes me is entirely up to them.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Unless you're within a certain group (which I won't name on grounds of not wanting to get banned:, people typically don't like being hurt or abused. It's not being nice that kills you, it's not having a backbone or your own opinion that does it. No one wants someone who won't stand up for what they believe in or always puts their opinion to the wayside. You don't have to be walking down the streets wearing your shades, tripping people up, all with a "gangsta lean," but neither should you be breaking your back just to please someone. A balance is best.

 

[AGR]

Yes,I truly believe if any truly nice guy exists he will not be truly well off or not reach the top which can make him bitter or turn him around.

Women get pretty bored of guys they can dominate easily,he almost certanly wouldnt be better off in a carrer working with other people,I mean he could be good,but I believe he couldnt successfully become everyones boss,he most likely would be at the bottom or a standard position,which probably he wouldnt mind,so wouldnt be at the top.

 

[Honda]

Weak people finish last, not nice people..

But people mistake kindness with weakness... A misconception that you should expect when being extremely nice..

So if you want to be the nice guy, get ready to kick some ass when they try to abuse your nice-ness..

 

[Kinetik]

I think this is where I fail, and I'm instantly friend-zoned.

Despite my general avoidance of the outside world and my complete abstinence regarding making friends, there's one silly little thing I've forced myself to do over the years that has prevented me from being friend-zoned by women, and it sounds stupid, but it's this: I act fast. I try to decide very quickly if she's someone I'm into. If you move fast, she can't friend zone you because you're not friends, and you're displaying spontaneity, confidence and assertiveness, all of which help her to at least put you in the right mental category. Whether your advances are welcomed is another matter, and of course you'll get some rejections, but at least you'll be in the right ballpark. It's nerve-wracking to try this, but it does gradually get easier.

 

[MrJones]

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Ive actually been told im too nice by some people before, like its a bad thing , a few of them even my own family members

Funny you mention it, I've been told that I'm "too nice" too, and I still don't know what it means.

Anyway, I think that if life has been as pathetic as mine is because I'm weak. Well, and pathetic.

If people say you are nice, I suggest you to keep doing the same.