I'm feeling sad and lonely tonight--er, this morning. Thing is, I don't know if my feelings are legitimate or I'm just coming down hard from the good mood I've been in lately. I feel angry for reasons that wouldn't quite make sense if I tried to put them into words.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
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DeadmanWalking
Well-known member
That depends Marie. Would you mind telling me of anything happening in your life that would warrant these emotions? Or are these spur-of-the-moment emotions?
Just relationship stuff, nothing I feel that I really have the right to be discussing on a public forum. But the bad feelings did come on quiet suddenly and were triggered by silly things, so I'm guessing it's just a mood. Thank you for asking, though. It's nice to know there is someone out there who is concerned.
DeadmanWalking
Well-known member
Well, if you want to discuss this, then you can always use my private messages. I may not know much in the ways of relationships, but maybe getting these thoughts off of your chest will make things better for you a bit. And of course I'm concerned! We're friends, aren't we? So, naturally, I would care about your emotions and your state of being!
this_portrait
Well-known member
Tired. I feel like I'm about to pass out and just sleep for hours on end.
theslowesthand
Banned
B*red to F*ckin B*gery, day-in-day-out ... but hanging in there.
My life has recntly gone to the SH*TS. Getting almost impssble to deal with, hence the hard binging from morning to night. I really have no idae how to sort this out, apart from doing that. As i said - IMPOSSIBLE.
Been tryin to FORCE myself outside house, not cause want to, but that i cant seem stand being inside right now - its driving me litreally "INSANE". My misery seems to be intimately "connected" somehow to all in my house, so really if want to escape this hellish misery, i have only ONE OPTION LEFT - to ESCAPE from my extremely limited "house-life" .. to simply go ANYWHERE ELSE on earth; seems simple, but for me (house-bound type) is VERY VERY challenging. My WHOLE LIFE is inside my house.
My life has recntly gone to the SH*TS. Getting almost impssble to deal with, hence the hard binging from morning to night. I really have no idae how to sort this out, apart from doing that. As i said - IMPOSSIBLE.
Been tryin to FORCE myself outside house, not cause want to, but that i cant seem stand being inside right now - its driving me litreally "INSANE". My misery seems to be intimately "connected" somehow to all in my house, so really if want to escape this hellish misery, i have only ONE OPTION LEFT - to ESCAPE from my extremely limited "house-life" .. to simply go ANYWHERE ELSE on earth; seems simple, but for me (house-bound type) is VERY VERY challenging. My WHOLE LIFE is inside my house.
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MikeyC
Well-known member
I hope you do. :/
Like Deadman, I'm also concerned, and my inbox is always open if you feel like discussing it, too. Hopefully it's just a mood and it can disappear quickly.
Wow, that's crazy. Is there something you can do - a hobby, I mean - that can have you leaving the house more often? It doesn't even have to be much - taking a nice, leisurely walk, for example, can get your mind to clear and is a cheap opportunity to leave the house, even if only for an hour or less.
Can you move out? What are your options available to you right now?
MikeyC
Well-known member
I've been upset for quite a while and today was no different. My band mate mentioned "you look distressed with life," but he knows I'm going to therapy, so maybe that's why he asked.
It's 9:40pm in Australia and I should've been in bed an hour ago. I'm already regretting it but at the same time I don't really care anymore.
Sigh. Oh, well. Time to sleep so I can force myself through another day.
It's 9:40pm in Australia and I should've been in bed an hour ago. I'm already regretting it but at the same time I don't really care anymore.
Sigh. Oh, well. Time to sleep so I can force myself through another day.
theslowesthand
Banned
Thats what i'm being forced to consider right now (out of despiration), to get my "system" to FORCE me out of the house say every few days. The 1st hurdle is to actually GET OUT THERE (find the time & mental-willingness to do so). Then maybe go walk somewhere, then sit down & read a book for an hour/so (= the "purpose" part of it, just walking somewhere is boring for me).
I probably have quite a lot of options, but its MY EXTREMELY TIMID/RIGID/FEARFUL MIND that "FORBIDS" almost all of those possible options.
But as i mentioned a week or so ago in a post, i am at quite a major "crossroads" or "crisies" in my life, and THINGS MUST CHANGE - I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CHANGE (its essentially "CHANGE OR DIE" .. and that's not just generally, i feel there's a bit of "LITERAL" in that also).
And i think that a number of things inmy life WILL HAVE TO "DIE", in order to MAKE ROOM for some more HEALTHIER options in my life. Its one or the other, for me - don't change ANYTHING, or change "EVERYTHING". As if i just change "a few things", then basically everything's gonna stay the same in general, and so i will have the same problems...
(sorry if i sound like a hard-rock song!)
Thnks for your reply MikeyC.
I feel this issue is very "extensive", and so have created the following thread >>> Breaking out of the Rut
If you (or anyone else wants to reply, please do so at the above thread).
Edit: Just saw your last post MikeyC, which has brought to mind a couple more points.
1) Therapy - i'm considering going back to therapy very soon (have talked to my old therapist over phone).
2) Hobby - get more/back into my music (still have my acoustic guitar (learnt to play sheet music for it); would love to have a drum set, or an electric guitar (either lead or bass, but i thnk bass = WAY easier!). That's probably the only half-decent hobby i've ever had (that is, if you dont count childhood hobbies of collecting various things (stamps, coins, comics, etc), or chess & playing cards (which i only did at school). And listening to music is hardly a hobby!. For many years, I've had this "dream" of getting properly into playing musical instruments (quite a few of my relatives have been pretty full-on with playing various musical instruments; one was one of the best Hawiian steel guitarists around (& put out the odd tape here-and-there; another, my grandad, was actually (way back) the #1 bag-pipe player in the country for a few years (& was also a very good banjo player).
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theslowesthand
Banned
HEAVEN, HELL & DREAMS...
Another *thing-thing* i have thought of today:
(don't take too seriously, just an idea)
Every day consists of at least 1 trip to/from heaven/hell. The first one is the trip each night to the world of the sleeping dream: All of your normal, daily life is "LOST", as in dream-land all is starnge/unfamiliar/foreign. Upon going to sleep, imho its sort of like a "death" of everything in the "real" world/life (or what we all VIEW as our "real" life - MAYBE it ISN'T???, I Dunno, who's to say).
And the 2nd possibility, is that upon awaking, we "LOSE" whatever was in our "dream-world" (that is, the dreams are "heaven" & the (awaking into) "awake-ness" = the "hell" part) (???)
Personally, i find the "most effective" hell-of-sorts is in the few hours after awaking (esp if repeatedly awking & drifting back to sleep). Nothing is safe/familiar, & so i find its a real struggle to feel "safe" in these early stages of the day, as its like i'm like a newborn baby - but with no mother at hand.
Generally, what i term & view as "hell" is the LOSS of things, and "heaven" is the ABSENCE OF LOSS.
Another *thing-thing* i have thought of today:
(don't take too seriously, just an idea)
Every day consists of at least 1 trip to/from heaven/hell. The first one is the trip each night to the world of the sleeping dream: All of your normal, daily life is "LOST", as in dream-land all is starnge/unfamiliar/foreign. Upon going to sleep, imho its sort of like a "death" of everything in the "real" world/life (or what we all VIEW as our "real" life - MAYBE it ISN'T???, I Dunno, who's to say).
And the 2nd possibility, is that upon awaking, we "LOSE" whatever was in our "dream-world" (that is, the dreams are "heaven" & the (awaking into) "awake-ness" = the "hell" part) (???)
Personally, i find the "most effective" hell-of-sorts is in the few hours after awaking (esp if repeatedly awking & drifting back to sleep). Nothing is safe/familiar, & so i find its a real struggle to feel "safe" in these early stages of the day, as its like i'm like a newborn baby - but with no mother at hand.
Generally, what i term & view as "hell" is the LOSS of things, and "heaven" is the ABSENCE OF LOSS.
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Phoenixx
Well-known member
I'm not sure. The minute I woke up this morning a whole wave of depression just hit me, only to soon be replaced by anger, felt like punching something. I don't really know why I felt that way. Maybe because it's my last day of the weekend, the last day of full relaxation? The fact that I have a whole week of school ahead of me once again? I don't know. I just laid in bed for a good hour, slept on and off, couldn't even get up unless I forced myself to, which I did. And now I'm here.
theslowesthand
Banned
Perhaps (like me) your not a morning person?. In spite of this, & my extremely negative personality (which i put down to my "feisty scottish ancestry"! he he), for some reason I absolutely LOVED school. I kinda hated getting up early, but when i got there it was "ALL GOOD" (more-or-less, but much more "more" than "less"!). School provided me with a "social life", being around cute/pretty/booty-ful girls, "friends", all manner of fun activities, major intellectual stimulation (regular challenges/tests/competition),...... School was overall, the best time of my life - it WAS my life, it was LIFE .. LIVING. Nowadays my life is just a "drag"; it just doesn't compare to back then 
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this_portrait
Well-known member
Sad. I had another dream I wish I wouldn't have had again...
twiggle
Well-known member
Have an appointment tomorrow morning that I always HATE so not too happy atm
Hoping I can achieve a target by tonight on a project though!
Good luck!
Always good to have targets 
surreyger
Member
Good luck!
Its only a really small silly target but im trying to teach myself concentration. I tend to never organise properly and get distracted by pretty much anything
cowboyup
Well-known member
I feel like everyone is leaving me....holidays are coming up and I feel especially lonely I guess. My brother, his wife and nephew are going to her parents house for Thanksgiving which leaves me here at the house alone on Thanksgiving. Though it's over a week away, I'm already feeling anxious about it. Also just found out two people I know are now in relatinships and making it work. *yay*
(insert sarcasm here)
people I know find me flaky at times (understandable) because of this stupid SA - I tend to make excuses for not going places, unless I am completely drugged up. I know, my on fault for being a flaky friend.
Guess I'll resort to homework and working on my book
Sorry Don't mean to bring everyone down, just needed to get that off my chest
done venting *sigh*
(insert sarcasm here)
people I know find me flaky at times (understandable) because of this stupid SA - I tend to make excuses for not going places, unless I am completely drugged up. I know, my on fault for being a flaky friend.
Guess I'll resort to homework and working on my book
Sorry Don't mean to bring everyone down, just needed to get that off my chest
done venting *sigh*
twiggle
Well-known member
When I read this,
I thought of this:
But seriously, I can relate to your feeling. It's easy to feel more lonely than the average person if you have S.A, and there's no time like Christmas to make it hit home that little bit extra.
And yeah, sometimes it feels like everybody else is in a relationship and that makes it feel even more lonely sometimes.
The trick is to just keep as busy as possible. You're writing a book? That should do the trick The more we do, the less time we have to think
I thought of this:
But seriously, I can relate to your feeling. It's easy to feel more lonely than the average person if you have S.A, and there's no time like Christmas to make it hit home that little bit extra.
And yeah, sometimes it feels like everybody else is in a relationship and that makes it feel even more lonely sometimes.
The trick is to just keep as busy as possible. You're writing a book? That should do the trick
The more we do, the less time we have to think
cowboyup
Well-known member
When I read this,
But seriously, I can relate to your feeling. It's easy to feel more lonely than the average person if you have S.A, and there's no time like Christmas to make it hit home that little bit extra.
And yeah, sometimes it feels like everybody else is in a relationship and that makes it feel even more lonely sometimes.
The trick is to just keep as busy as possible. You're writing a book? That should do the trick
Thanks Twiggle