kindashyguy
Member
yea that happens to me alot, year after year I sort of devolp a new crush on a girl, but I don't really make the effort to try, it's just the same routine.
...Usually though it's people who aren't "available" though for whatever reason...
I think maybe many people fall for people who are "unavailable" because the opposite scares us too much. If actually being close to someone makes you anxious, then falling for someone who IS available will make you anxious, and therefore you will tend not to do this. It is natural to be interested in someone, our brains are wired for it, so therefore you still fall for people, but just the "safe" unavailable ones.
A person who is not necessarily afraid to be close to someone, but IS afraid of being serious or afraid they may not be able to leave the relationship, may tend to fall for people who are already in a relationship. This just gives them some closeness with someone, but a way to keep it not serious or a way to easily get out. They may also fall for people who are not available emotionally for a relationship, as this will also serve the same purpose.
Just my thoughts, anyone else?
Yes I think you made some good points there. I think falling for someone who is unavailable probably feels "safe" because you know nothing will actually come of it. Whereas falling for someone who is single means you may actually be expected to act upon your feelings, which for most shy people (myself included) is terrifying! For this reason any feelings you have for someone who is single are more likely to be suppressed.