what were your experiences with the opposite sex, that made you SA

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Darker Than Black

Well-known member
what were your experiences with the opposite sex, That made you have SA or more SA??


bad experiences

I remember two of the girls I told I liked them, 2nd one was on msn, 3rd one was face to face.

The first one was like "I think ur the hottest girl in the whole school" ...:( LMAO
then The next day at school, I bought her flowers and some teddy bears...OMG, I was such a noob. she didn't even say "I liked you too"
And I did that, I mean the gift giving in front of the entire class in the morning. WTF WTF LOL, then after that, I had no idea what I was suppose to say :(, and she ignored me..so :(

The 2nd one, I was walking with her to the bus stop after class, and I was like

"um...you ever want to be more than friends?"...I've only known her for less than a month, she was like"nope"

then things gota ugly after that, I didn't know how to talk to her or anything, and did a lot of stupid things, then I just opened up..(stupid again)
she completely ignored me after that, and said "you make things up"


After that, I've never talked to another female, other than some greetings, no small talk, I get sad, I don't want another rejection, and I don't want to get attached so fast to somebody, u know?
 
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HoldenCaulfield

HoldenCaulfield

Member
It's not even in looking for love that's important. I feel like most guys ignore me just because I'm not a dumbass, loudmouthed, big-chested twit.

It seems like people just freeze up when you wanna have an actual meaningful conversation. It's a lot better to me that way, instead of talking about who did what with who last night.
 
LostInLife

LostInLife

Member
Let’s see, where to start. Several years ago I met young woman from my work over the phone. We really enjoyed our conversations to the point where we would talk every day. She was really into me as far as I could tell. At the time I still had a mild case of SA. I knew if I asked her out that I would be nervous.

So I decided to suck it up and ask her out anyway. Well we decided to meet. So I’m pacing back and forth on the street corner where we decided to meet on and was going over in my head what I would say upon meeting her. I see her, we make eye contact and say hello. She was very beautiful. My heart was racing. So you want to know what my next words out of my mouth where? I wanted to say “It’s nice to finally be able to put a face on that beautiful voice of yours?” But my anxiety was at an all-time high and I said, “Nice to put a voice….on that face, (bit of a stutter)uh, NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.” Jeez, I just wanted to die at that moment. At that point I’m a nervous wreck, sweating, blushing. Dinner was just as awkward. After dinner, we went our separate ways. She never spoke to me again. GOOD TIMES!:)
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
Well I do okay with the honies but I'm not a ladies man or anything. Once I venture out of my shell and get to know a girl it often develops into something more. I've never really had any negative off-the-cuff comments that I can remember. For me it's just a case of daring to leave my apartment and actually taking the steps needed to build a bond with her.

Having said that, if I'm at the bar and I try to hit on a girl, I always do terribly. So I think a lot of it has to do with the approach and/or the environment in which you try to connect with someone.
 
iamthenra

iamthenra

Well-known member
Doesn't matter what I say... All females will eventually hate me for something or other... So I don't waste my time.
 
Mack_Berserk

Mack_Berserk

Well-known member
Darker Than Black said:
After that, I've never talked to another female, other than some greetings, no small talk, I get sad, I don't want another rejection, and I don't want to get attached so fast to somebody, u know?
Click to expand...

Wow, that sounds exactly like me, word for word.

I don't often get in a position where I can ask a girl out (in fact, very rarely). And when I do, I'm always intoxicated because I have no confidence in myself. It's also always a fast attachment for me.

The most recent attempt was a couple of months ago, at the place I worked. It was a girl who worked with me. I asked her in a lame way, and she turned me down with an excuse.

The time before that, several months before, I was very drunk at a movie theater. The girl was actually checking me out (she admitted this later), which was nice. The only time in my life I've approached a total stranger in this manner. Surprisingly, she gave me her number... Great, right? I then found out she was 16 (i'm 21). Of course, by the time I found that out, it wasn't going anywhere anyway. What can I say, I'm just boring. Nice, but boring.

Those are really the only two attempts in recent memory. I finally sum up the courage, and I find out I'm completely socially inept. The best feeling in the world.
 
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S

SingleAloneForever

Active member
My experiences, whilst I initally thought them to be unique, until I stumbled upon this website, are probably much like most people's stories on here.

I used to go out to pubs and clubs with my friends a fair bit. I never ever really had much confidence, so I guess one could say that my SA began to manifest itself in high school. For probably the first couple of years I was picked on by a select few of older students, particularly females, which did wonders for my confidence and self esteem, and I suffered. However I got along pretty well with most students from my own year, many of which I would still refer to as friends, so high school wasn't as terrifyingly horrific as it could have otherwise been.

Anyway, since I've never had a gf, never been in any position to ever have such a relationship, I just figured it would happen after high school, when both sexes have matured. I've only kissed two girls in my life, which were mistakes, as both the girls in question were unquestionably flat out intoxicated, when they started to sober up, well let's just say it put a different complexion on things. Besides, I don't want to be known as the loser that only has a shot with over the top drunk chicks. That isn't fair not only to those girls, but to myself.

Anyway, back at the time when I was still frequenting pubs and the occassional clubs, I could never actually successfully talk to women. I don't know what it was. More than likely it was my appearence, perhaps the way I talk. I'm not sure. Anyway, whenver I tried even initiating contact with the opposite sex, they would get frightened. To the point where they would get security and have me escorted from the premesis. Not only that, but the more vindictive women would throw their alcohol in my face, spit on me, call me derogatory names, you know the drill. Once when I was out with a friend at the pubs, I was waiting at a table for a mate to bring back a couple of drinks. There were a couple of girls at a nearby table, I hadn't said anything to them, or even looked at them. However, they took offense to me being there, came over to me and asked if I could go away. They told me they were frightened of me, that I looked like a rapist and a serial killer. So I apologised to them and left, went home and cried myself to sleep. This part I don't like admitting to, makes me feel childish.

Pretty much after that incident. I came to the decision that it wasn't fair for me to be out at pubs and cause women to feel these sort of terrifying thoughts. I haven't the right to cause this type of anguish to another person.

So I will very rarely ever go out to pubs anymore, unless it's with a group of friends, and we go out for dinner or something like that. I never speak to anybody that isn't a part of my group, and I'm usually now very quiet and don't speak much at all when I'm out, except a select few of my closest friends.
 
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K

klytus

Well-known member
Anyway, back at the time when I was still frequenting pubs and the occassional clubs, I could never actually successfully talk to women. I don't know what it was. More than likely it was my appearence, perhaps the way I talk. I'm not sure. Anyway, whenver I tried even initiating contact with the opposite sex, they would get frightened. To the point where they would get security and have me escorted from the premesis. Not only that, but the more vindictive women would throw their alcohol in my face, spit on me, call me derogatory names, you know the drill. Once when I was out with a friend at the pubs, I was waiting at a table for a mate to bring back a couple of drinks. There were a couple of girls at a nearby table, I hadn't said anything to them, or even looked at them. However, they took offense to me being there, came over to me and asked if I could go away. They told me they were frightened of me, that I looked like a rapist and a serial killer. So I apologised to them and left, went home and cried myself to sleep. This part I don't like admitting to, makes me feel childish.
Click to expand...
For some reason, many people here have had similar experiences. Including myself. I honestly don't know the actual cause. It's most likely the overall behavior.

I came to the decision that it wasn't fair for me to be out at pubs and cause women to feel these sort of terrifying thoughts. I haven't the right to cause this type of anguish to another person.
Click to expand...
Aye, I, too, have realized that my mere presence causes grave discomfort to many women, so I decided to basically stay at home. (Not that I would know where to go anyway, it's just one more rational reason not to go anywhere.)
 
Mack_Berserk

Mack_Berserk

Well-known member
SingleAloneForever said:
Anyway, back at the time when I was still frequenting pubs and the occassional clubs, I could never actually successfully talk to women. I don't know what it was. More than likely it was my appearence, perhaps the way I talk. I'm not sure. Anyway, whenver I tried even initiating contact with the opposite sex, they would get frightened. To the point where they would get security and have me escorted from the premesis. Not only that, but the more vindictive women would throw their alcohol in my face, spit on me, call me derogatory names, you know the drill. Once when I was out with a friend at the pubs, I was waiting at a table for a mate to bring back a couple of drinks. There were a couple of girls at a nearby table, I hadn't said anything to them, or even looked at them. However, they took offense to me being there, came over to me and asked if I could go away. They told me they were frightened of me, that I looked like a rapist and a serial killer. So I apologised to them and left, went home and cried myself to sleep. This part I don't like admitting to, makes me feel childish.
Click to expand...

Damn, that's pretty rough. Better to admit that kind of stuff here than to somebody who wouldn't understand.

I couldn't say why they would be scared of you just by looking, but I can guess. With my SA, I never smile in public... unless i'm with a friend (and how few of those I have, sadly).

People used to tell me I looked like I was going to kill someone. That's changed somewhat as I learned to 'control' my expression a bit over the years, but everytime I look in the mirror at a public bathroom, etc., I still just look angry. Let's just say that people don't exactly approach me.

I wasn't there, but if I had to guess, I would just say you were insecure about w/e and expressionless at the time. Those girls probably could have just ignored you but thought it would be fun to say what they said and see how you reacted. (Or maybe they wanted that table) :mad:

Either way, that was pretty low, even if they were drunk.
 
redpine17

redpine17

Well-known member
bought her a valentines day card and chocolates now she gives me looks everytime i come close to her and she told me to get hit by a bus.
 
dream

dream

Well-known member
Rejection from the opposite sex.
I'm not sure if this experience has led me to developing Sad though, In elementry school, i had this huge crush on one of my classmates, so i wrote him a note and placed it in a cardboard box in a gift bag giving the immpression that it was a fancy gift lol
So when i gave it to him with a sly smile he read the note infront of my classmate who intiminated me which made me feel embarrased.Another time in school, i lied about dating this guy a few of my classmates found out and the guy from another school came to my school to confront me and mess me up i was so embarrased i stayed in the bathroom.Rude comments about my weight and appearance.
 
W

WelshOne

Well-known member
Hmm, my story is slightly different. I was never really rejected outright by girls in school. I only ever really had a crush on 2 girls back then - one with in primary school (lol) and one in highschool. Looking back, I think they both actually liked me, though the one in highschool gave up on me after a while... probably because I would always struggle around her and usually make a swift exit in her presence. I don't know why I was so afraid of having a relationship. Maybe it was a fear of rejection once they got to know me, or of embarrassing myself in an intimate situation.

I suppose I'm also very intimidated by the 'party girls' who like to get drunk, dance and sleep around every weekend. Intimidated, and so not interested. I've recently discovered there still are some respectable women in this world, though, which gives me hope. Now all I need is the courage to take a chance...
 
redski

redski

1
Two women in my life. Never lead anywhere.

First one I think got fed up on me for not making
a move and started dating someone else and
completely ignored me.

Second I really liked a lot but was worried about her past
(had heard a few things) and a close friend of min at
the time also fancied her. So I did nothing.
I got in touch with the second girl many years later
trying to pick up were we left of. Got so many mixed
signals from her plus my SA that after a lot of pain
stopped trying to not feel bad anymore.
 
B

Bar-AKA-Redzer

Guest
Darker Than Black said:
After that, I've never talked to another female, other than some greetings, no small talk, I get sad, I don't want another rejection, and I don't want to get attached so fast to somebody, u know?
Click to expand...

u better off mate, they only break ur heart in the end ::(:::(:::(:
 
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