Why do love-shy men NOT want to show they like/love a woman?

EasySkanking

EasySkanking

1
At this momment in time, it is just me, but in the past it has been all my school peers, my teachers, all my step-fathers.... and my careless mother. But not once, has someone told me that I'm beautiful and perfect just the way I am.

Even when I rationalize things and see things clearly, it's still hard to believe... because it is something that I simply have never experienced... or if I have, I am just too ****ed up to realize it and/or absorb it.

I'm fine though.... **** it... there's bound to be something that I can be good at and draw happiness from that :)... "here I come marines :D" ;)
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
You are beautiful and perfect the way you are.

If someone wants you to be different than that - it is THEIR problem, not yours.

If you want to be what they want you to be, that's ok - but it's still YOUR choice to be so.
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
ilmatross said:
love fills you so completely, that the emptiness you feel afterward makes you question if it was ever worth it in the first place

never knows best.
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Ahh, the whole is it to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all debate. I always thought it was to have loved and lost, but that is because I've never loved at all...
 
ilmatross

ilmatross

Well-known member
vj288 said:
Ahh, the whole is it to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all debate. I always thought it was to have loved and lost, but that is because I've never loved at all...
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im sure its worth it in the end but i wear my heart on my sleeve and let people **** me up emotionally, each relationship has made me more hesitant to try again.

im probably not a good poster child for successful relationships
 
IGotSeoul

IGotSeoul

Well-known member
TooShyShy said:
Or at least have some feelings or an attraction for her? Why hide your feelings and not acknowledge them? What is the worry in the girl knowing this? Why hold back?

Is it better to live this way and watch, stare, fantasize about her from afar and be sad and lonely rather than let the girl know you are attracted to her?
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because us love-shy men are, as you said, love-shy. :D
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

1
IGotSeoul said:
a pseudo-psychological anxiety syndrome coined by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin. Love-shy persons are supposedly more intensively shy when it comes to intimate relationships.
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Giggle, gogle, gigle, giigle, google. Often mistype it. Google is priceless. elgoog.

Set strange aside, moving on.

Intensively shy with intimate relationships. Something not known yet. Could be why difference is not known. Cannot get past stage of knowing when liked. Not understood.

For me it shall remain supposedly.
 
TooShyShy

TooShyShy

Well-known member
But what if the girl has let you know her feelings and intentions..say in a card or letter that she'd like to get to know you better and that she could tell you liked her too..why would you say not interetsed but then still stare from afar almost daily, watch when she comes and goes all the time, hang out where she is, **sigh** (very deeply) with your head down when she walks by you, if you say you can't do it or not interested....WHY??????


Its so confusing and very painful when they guy does that!!!!!
 
EasySkanking

EasySkanking

1
Realize that it's a disease. It is like asking a person without a leg "Why can't you run? Whyyyy?" ;)

As a social phobic male (who gets a lot of attention from females) the only way that things could work out between a girl and me is if the girl approached me and was patient with my insecurity and problems that result from that (perhaps having no job, no friends, etc.. that normal people have.)
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
TooShyShy said:
But what if the girl has let you know her feelings and intentions..say in a card or letter that she'd like to get to know you better and that she could tell you liked her too..why would you say not interetsed but then still stare from afar almost daily, watch when she comes and goes all the time, hang out where she is, **sigh** (very deeply) with your head down when she walks by you, if you say you can't do it or not interested....WHY??????


Its so confusing and very painful when they guy does that!!!!!
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we are more afraid of rejection than of being alone or hurting your feelings

it's self-preservation at an instinctual level
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

1
coyote said:
we are more afraid of rejection than of being alone or hurting your feelings

it's self-preservation at an instinctual level
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Hey, I'd give you more rep points but I just got told I have to spread the wealth.

Well said ... I think.

Yes, I do happen to have Dupli-Color Scratch fix.
 
anxiety1408

anxiety1408

Well-known member
Who says they dont want to, They get shy/anxious and find it hard to express themselves which is understandable right? ;)
 
Seasons

Seasons

Well-known member
Hi

I'm new on here, I found this forum when searching for some answers about shyness. I am not shy with people in general but I am love shy. And I like someone who is very shy with everybody apart from a few close friends. We've been talking for some time now and I am unable to tell him directly that I like him but try to say it indirectly. He is very nice and sweet and even being shy he makes an effort not to let the conversation die although he avoids responding to any allusion that there might be more than friendship from my part. He is nice also with other girls that talk to him so I have no way of knowing if he has any feelings for me.
My question then is, is he avoiding the subject because he doesn't get the meaning of my 'hints', or does it mean that he is just interested in friendship? Is there a way of finding out that doesn't involve me telling him straight up or paying attention at body language since I'm not good at that?

Sorry if this reductant but any help would be much appreciated! ::eek::
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

1
Seasons said:
Hi

I'm new on here, I found this forum when searching for some answers about shyness. I am not shy with people in general but I am love shy. And I like someone who is very shy with everybody apart from a few close friends. We've been talking for some time now and I am unable to tell him directly that I like him but try to say it indirectly. He is very nice and sweet and even being shy he makes an effort not to let the conversation die although he avoids responding to any allusion that there might be more than friendship from my part. He is nice also with other girls that talk to him so I have no way of knowing if he has any feelings for me.
My question then is, is he avoiding the subject because he doesn't get the meaning of my 'hints', or does it mean that he is just interested in friendship? Is there a way of finding out that doesn't involve me telling him straight up or paying attention at body language since I'm not good at that?

Sorry if this reductant but any help would be much appreciated! ::eek::
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It, I don't... Might be that, quite possibly... I have something to -
I don't know.

It may help if I knew what a hint was. Sure others will have better answers.
 
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