Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
zana said:
you said it sister
Women have it easy.
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you said it sister
PhantomPod
Well-known member
^^ Yeah, I agree with that too.
I feel that atleast guys are in the position to be able to initiate a relationship. It feels like girls (ok, maybe just me) are left sitting around waiting for a guy to take interest in them. Because in our society it's definitely more acceptable for the guys to do the asking out, rather than the girls. Sure, so that would be hard for a shy guy because he knows that's it's more common for him to do the asking out, but I don't know. I pretty much think that it's just a sucky and difficult situation for both men and women, especially if they're shy men and women.
I feel that atleast guys are in the position to be able to initiate a relationship. It feels like girls (ok, maybe just me) are left sitting around waiting for a guy to take interest in them. Because in our society it's definitely more acceptable for the guys to do the asking out, rather than the girls. Sure, so that would be hard for a shy guy because he knows that's it's more common for him to do the asking out, but I don't know. I pretty much think that it's just a sucky and difficult situation for both men and women, especially if they're shy men and women.
Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
yeah, here at college it's like either you're already in a relationship or you're really skinny and attractive and sleep around with other people that do nothing but sleep around. it's tough walking to class surrounded by the same damned cloned super models. grr!! and the guys here are so shallow... at least alot of them. it's really hard to meet people on campus.
Penelope48
New member
shy women having it easy?
I don't think anyone with shyness or social problems has it easy at all. As far as getting someone to hook up with you, I've found that men prey on shy, passive women. And take advantage , or so they have in my case. So it is definitely not better or easy.
I don't think anyone with shyness or social problems has it easy at all. As far as getting someone to hook up with you, I've found that men prey on shy, passive women. And take advantage , or so they have in my case. So it is definitely not better or easy.
sugaryberries
Well-known member
Chilling__Echo said:
I've found that to be not totally true. 3/7 of my suitemates didn't have boyfriends. And most of the guys living on my level didn't have girlfriends. I've found more body diversity here than at high school. Because there are more people, there are more clones, but I doubt the percentage of clones is more than 45% of the student population.
I don't think it's hard to meet people. There are so many activites, but it's hard to do the chit chat thing that starts a friendship.
Though I know it's not true, I feel like I have to be a size 8 with long flowing hair and perfect skin. Otherwise no one will find me attractive. But that is stupid to think because I find guys attractive who are balding (poor 20 year olds
), overweight, hairy (lol), etc.But, I totally agree that women have it easier when it comes to having a one night stand. All you have to do is get dolled up and head out to the nearest bar [if you don't care who you end up with]. But for being in a serious relationship I think it is equally hard for both. After all it takes two.
Uglyduckling
Active member
I'd rather date a shy guy than one that's outgoing and obnoxious.
Richey
Well-known member
From my experiance i completely agree with this in the sense that its cliched that the guy are seen as the people who would normally make the first move, and i know girls who dont approach guys and expect them to do most of the work, from my experiance its alot easier for a shy girl to be in a relationship then it is for a shy guy, but its just the culture that gives people that perception, essentially we're all just flesh n blood with feelings right
Actually, I'm 20 and am shy. I've hit on 2 girls in my lifetime and have been hit on 8 times, with 3 of them being attractive.
note:
* I've never been to a bar.
* I don't dress particularly well.cowboys starter jacket from 94(its cold, its michigan).
*Also note I havent been approach since summer of 05.
note:
* I've never been to a bar.
* I don't dress particularly well.cowboys starter jacket from 94(its cold, its michigan).
*Also note I havent been approach since summer of 05.
Hauntedhead
Active member
nitefalz is 100% right women have it way easier cause all the guy wants from them is sex
bipsi
Member
I agree with Basic4. It's well written and it's clear. But at the same time I must say we better not bring up this 'women/man issue'. When you suffer from SA you know how painful it is. You know how deprived you are of a normal life. You know it and feel it every moment. It's equally painful for both men and women.
the_secret_me
Member
im female...and most of the time im really glad that im not male. just cos it seems like guys are expected to be more confident.
but in long term relationships etc, i wouldnt really know...but mer, im just kinda glad im female.
but in long term relationships etc, i wouldnt really know...but mer, im just kinda glad im female.
Septor
Well-known member
Not this again,girl don't have it easer then guy in fact they have it just as bad.Just a different set of problems.Women with sa are more likely to be targeted be predatory men and are more likely to be in a abusive relationship because of the symptom of sa.There are men that target shy girl like that.I have seen it first hand.It's really sad that it happens.So many broken lives.
That not to say men have it easy but both sexes have there own set of problems that they have to deal with in a relationship.Yes guys have it hard.They are the one that have make contact with the women.Although there are more and more women asking the guys out.Yes guys are expected to have more and confident and be I guess you would say manly,if you want to call it that.Because of the way system works it is sometime easer for sa girl to be in relationship then it is for sa man but women faces more danger in the dating world that guys don't have to worry about.Also being women also does not mean it's easy for them to get to a relationship with a man as some women can attest to here.
So it not about who has it better or worse off.As I said before both sexes there own set of problem when it come getting in to a relationship and they face a different set of hurdles and I think it would help if people with sa realize that.
That not to say men have it easy but both sexes have there own set of problems that they have to deal with in a relationship.Yes guys have it hard.They are the one that have make contact with the women.Although there are more and more women asking the guys out.Yes guys are expected to have more and confident and be I guess you would say manly,if you want to call it that.Because of the way system works it is sometime easer for sa girl to be in relationship then it is for sa man but women faces more danger in the dating world that guys don't have to worry about.Also being women also does not mean it's easy for them to get to a relationship with a man as some women can attest to here.
So it not about who has it better or worse off.As I said before both sexes there own set of problem when it come getting in to a relationship and they face a different set of hurdles and I think it would help if people with sa realize that.
sorry, u probably won't want to read this because it is long
...odd, who ever is doing the suffering percieves that they have it worse. One could say that you have an exagerated perception of how it is required to look beauiful and young in order to gain men's social acceptance. And, you can say that it is easier to behave in a certain way rather than look good. From how I see it... there are many good men who will date average or below average looking women as long as they have a good personality and are fairly nice. Are there limits? yes, unfortunately there are a few very, very unattractive woman will have a difficult time obtaining her dream man that meets her 1001 requirments of intellectual, psychological, and social attractiveness. Unfortunately she may have to lower her standards just a little and allow herself to be 'found' by a man who may only meet a few hundred of her requirements such as being nice and a good person. But then again we can argue that what we find attractive can't really be changed very much. I don't agree with that completely seeing how part of what we- especially women find attractive is based upon societies standards and is not innate. So if women find that society exagerates the requirements of physical beauty- which it does- then we should not accept society standards. And why do so many of the media outlets that promote an exagerated standard of female beauty happen to be women's mags ran by women? I guess women are partly responsible for their own fates by going along with this standard and allowing theirselves to be modeled for their physical qualities.
Yes, it is true that many women judge men more physically attractive as they get older and more capable. As far as the physical attractiveness of older men- don't ask me, I don't get it, and I don't think they are but then again I am a male. Maybe it has something to do with men not having this excessive requirement of physical beauty placed upon them in the first place and also women judging men's intellectual, social, and psychological fitness and attractiveness associate older men's appearances with experience and hence a greater ability to provide. But with that said, how does that change younger men's reality? how does that fact make it easier to be a male from the ages of 12- 34? just as women may have it difficult later in life, men have it difficult earlier in life when it comes to standards of attractiveness.
So imagine a young man early in his life facing rejection. He faces that rejection both actively and passively. They do not only face passive rejection that women allow themselves to face. I say 'allow' because many women to not rebell and actively pursue men. And don't tell me that that is an impossibility because I have been fortunate enough to have been actively persued by a few women- if I hadn't I would have only had one gf in my life and I am 31! People subscribe to their norms and just passively follow them instead of challenging what may be injust or a norm which may be variable and not necessarily fixed by nature. As far as these young men who are shy and quiet, they not only face passive rejection by being constantly labled as wierdo's and ugly by constant gossip and harsh looks from women, but they must always face the stress of having to actively pursue and face potential rejection from women who hold extremely high standards of what they view as an attractive man. After awhile this wears on some young men- the constant rejection and/or the potential rejection- some so much so that they go their entire lives alone- like ghosts, or they are actively rejected because they are seen as wierd or creepy.
[/quote]
Here is my edit disclaimer- I am speaking in terms of averages, I realize that many men and women are not stereotypical and that human beings and their behaviour is variable.
...odd, who ever is doing the suffering percieves that they have it worse. One could say that you have an exagerated perception of how it is required to look beauiful and young in order to gain men's social acceptance. And, you can say that it is easier to behave in a certain way rather than look good. From how I see it... there are many good men who will date average or below average looking women as long as they have a good personality and are fairly nice. Are there limits? yes, unfortunately there are a few very, very unattractive woman will have a difficult time obtaining her dream man that meets her 1001 requirments of intellectual, psychological, and social attractiveness. Unfortunately she may have to lower her standards just a little and allow herself to be 'found' by a man who may only meet a few hundred of her requirements such as being nice and a good person. But then again we can argue that what we find attractive can't really be changed very much. I don't agree with that completely seeing how part of what we- especially women find attractive is based upon societies standards and is not innate. So if women find that society exagerates the requirements of physical beauty- which it does- then we should not accept society standards. And why do so many of the media outlets that promote an exagerated standard of female beauty happen to be women's mags ran by women? I guess women are partly responsible for their own fates by going along with this standard and allowing theirselves to be modeled for their physical qualities.
Yes, it is true that many women judge men more physically attractive as they get older and more capable. As far as the physical attractiveness of older men- don't ask me, I don't get it, and I don't think they are but then again I am a male. Maybe it has something to do with men not having this excessive requirement of physical beauty placed upon them in the first place and also women judging men's intellectual, social, and psychological fitness and attractiveness associate older men's appearances with experience and hence a greater ability to provide. But with that said, how does that change younger men's reality? how does that fact make it easier to be a male from the ages of 12- 34? just as women may have it difficult later in life, men have it difficult earlier in life when it comes to standards of attractiveness.
So imagine a young man early in his life facing rejection. He faces that rejection both actively and passively. They do not only face passive rejection that women allow themselves to face. I say 'allow' because many women to not rebell and actively pursue men. And don't tell me that that is an impossibility because I have been fortunate enough to have been actively persued by a few women- if I hadn't I would have only had one gf in my life and I am 31! People subscribe to their norms and just passively follow them instead of challenging what may be injust or a norm which may be variable and not necessarily fixed by nature. As far as these young men who are shy and quiet, they not only face passive rejection by being constantly labled as wierdo's and ugly by constant gossip and harsh looks from women, but they must always face the stress of having to actively pursue and face potential rejection from women who hold extremely high standards of what they view as an attractive man. After awhile this wears on some young men- the constant rejection and/or the potential rejection- some so much so that they go their entire lives alone- like ghosts, or they are actively rejected because they are seen as wierd or creepy.
I made my case- it is difficult for either a man or a woman, but it is important not to undervalue or under-rate anyone's suffering. And yes, according to my perspective it is difficult to chase a woman. Unfortunately it is difficult to cover up a personality 'with makeup' (so to speak). Some temperment is innate, and even the portion of our personalities which are not (the environmentally factored portion) are very difficult to change especially the older somebody gets.
Great! now we have another social standard of attractiveness -more psychological pressure-- now here is another subtle and minute but powerful standard- make it obvious that you like her, but be careful not to look desperate! Be smart- but only socially- be confidant- but not cocky- be nice- but don't be a push over- be strong- but don't be too aggressive... the list could go on for a million pages.
... blah, blah... useless stereotypes...
Yes, I agree- I admire women very much that, it obviously takes alot of fortitude and suffering (I mean this, I am not being a jerk). And while childbirth is something to be very proud of- no, I wouldn't want to go through that pain. But, I think this thread is about loneliness and social pain.
No, not completely. Like I said- all suffering is valid, sometimes it is a matter of perspective.
[/quote]
Here is my edit disclaimer- I am speaking in terms of averages, I realize that many men and women are not stereotypical and that human beings and their behaviour is variable.
red_reagel
Well-known member
Are you kidding? I think guys have it just a teensy bit easier than we do :?. Have you ever seen a good-looking guy with an ugly girl go out? sometimes I see very pretty girls with not so attractive guys, and these type of guys are the cocky ones cause of that. I talk to guys a little and I still cant get anyone interested in me, looks or no looks. Guys dont have to worry about how they look in public, accessorizing, having bad hair, or any of that other stuff.
Girls have to be smart, beautiful, have real skills that show that feminism isn't a lie.
Girls have to be smart, beautiful, have real skills that show that feminism isn't a lie.
tommydog
Well-known member
hmm okaaaay
welll
heres my opinion, stated tentatively :lol:
i dunno about all that, but ..
when it comes to looks, i definetly think woman have it easier.
Do you know how hard it is to have a "model" body ? thats the gym, 5 days a week, and forget about crusing on the exercise bikes.. pumping iron. Not to mention the strict diet. Its very very hard to get a body like that.
I think for woman to obtain a nice body its much easier.
welll
heres my opinion, stated tentatively :lol:
i dunno about all that, but ..
when it comes to looks, i definetly think woman have it easier.
Do you know how hard it is to have a "model" body ? thats the gym, 5 days a week, and forget about crusing on the exercise bikes.. pumping iron. Not to mention the strict diet. Its very very hard to get a body like that.
I think for woman to obtain a nice body its much easier.
LittleMissScareAll
Well-known member
red_reagel said:
I probably already responded in this thread somewhere, but I have to say I agree with you red_reagel. Guys in general, have it easier, in my opinion, because they don't have to worry about how they look. Plus guys are usually the ones who lie to, cheat on, and hurt girls, at least from my experience. I guess not always, I hope there have to be halfway decent guys out there. But from MY personal experience they are the ones that hurt girls. None of my exes turned out to be good people. Even the ones who seemed so sweet and/or shy and innocent at first...they always ended up being manipulative bastards who are just faking it, even though I'm always very nice to them and at first they seemed crazy about me and alot of them even admitted I'm a great girlfriend...my last one told me I was "perfect" or something but he just couldn't be happy with me... so it just proves that they were all worthless pieces of shit who need to have their organs ripped out of their body.
I think more guys are more shallow too. Anyway, either way......any guy who says any girl can have whatever guy they want is full of shit, because I've always had problems getting guys to like me, especially back when I was fat. But now I still have problems, even though alot of people think I'm not so bad looking now...I still cant keep anyone because of my social phobia and because I'm not optimistic. I'm sorry but optimistic people make me want to shoot myself. I can't stand being around overly positive people.
and to the guy above who said it's easier for women to get a nice body---HA! maybe with lots of liposuction and plastic surgery, but not naturally. but men could have plastic surgery too. I guess you don't realize women tend to be more "flabby" than men...men tend to have more firm bodies so even if you are overweight chances are your body is still probably more toned up and firm than an overweight woman. you have no idea what kind of shit women have to go through.
xkiss_me_nowx
Well-known member
i don't think us women have it easier at all.
we get judged by other female's all the time. we have to put up with all the bitchyness from other female's jealous.
we always expected to be dressing nice, looking pretty and if not we get looked down on.
and men coming onto us all the time. :roll:
we get judged by other female's all the time. we have to put up with all the bitchyness from other female's jealous.
we always expected to be dressing nice, looking pretty and if not we get looked down on.
and men coming onto us all the time. :roll:
Everything else assumed as being equal, social anxiety affects males' ability to engage in a relationship much more than it does females'. The opposite is true of looks.
So it all depends on what qualities one possesses, but as far as members of this particular site are concerned, I guess the thread title says more or less the truth. Not that it is especially interesting, it is all pretty self evident.
As far as society in general is concerned it might be interesting to consider that males are more numerous than females at birth by around five percent. Later on, one in twenty dies for some reason or another, and the numbers get even at around age 45. In the old times it was probably a quicker process, which arguably made things smoother. In any case, I'm quite happy with my life expectancy all in all, so I'm not going to complain about this..
So it all depends on what qualities one possesses, but as far as members of this particular site are concerned, I guess the thread title says more or less the truth. Not that it is especially interesting, it is all pretty self evident.
As far as society in general is concerned it might be interesting to consider that males are more numerous than females at birth by around five percent. Later on, one in twenty dies for some reason or another, and the numbers get even at around age 45. In the old times it was probably a quicker process, which arguably made things smoother. In any case, I'm quite happy with my life expectancy all in all, so I'm not going to complain about this..