Why I Am Invisible

[SPV]

Thanks everyone. I think the main thing I am upset about is my boyfriend's sister. For about a year now, she has shown those typical signs of jealousy over someone taking over the life of the brother she adores. At least, it seems like she sees it that way. I have wanted to be friends with her, have given her gifts, tried to reach out to her, but I feel like the most I've gotten back from her is civility, out of respect for her brother. Every time he posts anything about the house on his facebook page, she is all over it, congratulating him (and him alone) and wanting to know about it. But I have also posted several updates about packing, getting ready to move, being excited, etc., and even posted a photo of our new house....and have not heard a single peep out of her. I get it; I understand why she is doing it and I don't hold it against her...but it still hurts and I don't know how to deal with it. My boyfriend will swear up and down that she likes me, but I'm certain he either doesn't see her coldness toward me, or is denying it in order to spare my feelings. It is making me feel very small, and I just don't know how to shrug it off like any self-confident person would.

To hell with his sister, she doesn't have to like you. You shouldn't expect everyone to like you. And if anything, she's the one being all weird and stuff! As long as you're boy friend is there for you, it doesn't matter what she thinks...

Is she the only one ignoring you?

 

[Invisibleman]

yeah,I feel invisible too sometimes...

 

[Silatuyok]

To hell with his sister, she doesn't have to like you. You shouldn't expect everyone to like you. And if anything, she's the one being all weird and stuff! As long as you're boy friend is there for you, it doesn't matter what she thinks...

Is she the only one ignoring you?

Haha, thank you for that. I just wish she would like me because she seems like a cool chick, otherwise. She's pretty much the only one ignoring me, though sometimes it feels like EVERYONE is..

 

[SPV]

Haha, thank you for that. I just wish she would like me because she seems like a cool chick, otherwise. She's pretty much the only one ignoring me, though sometimes it feels like EVERYONE is..

Unless you're like all rude and mean to those people there's no reason why they should ignore you... And your boyfriends sister may seem cool on the outside, I'm pretty sure she's crazy in the inside.

Why don't you talk to her? Get some attention from her, talk to her about the house and how excited you are, see how she's going to react?

 

[Silatuyok]

Unless you're like all rude and mean to those people there's no reason why they should ignore you... And your boyfriends sister may seem cool on the outside, I'm pretty sure she's crazy in the inside.

Why don't you talk to her? Get some attention from her, talk to her about the house and how excited you are, see how she's going to react?

Well, she acts okay most of the time when I am around her, she's sort of friendly sometimes, but I only see her a few times a year. I know I'm overreacting, and shouldn't expect her to want to be buddy buddy with me, but she has done some things that have really hurt my feelings, and I don't know if it was intentional or not. I'm not upset about it anymore, it's just kind of a mystery to me at this point.

 

[SPV]

Well, she acts okay most of the time when I am around her, she's sort of friendly sometimes, but I only see her a few times a year. I know I'm overreacting, and shouldn't expect her to want to be buddy buddy with me, but she has done some things that have really hurt my feelings, and I don't know if it was intentional or not. I'm not upset about it anymore, it's just kind of a mystery to me at this point.

Well, since you can't know what your boyfriends sister thinks of you, I guess the best thing to do is to let it go... I mean you're moving into a new house with your boyfriend, right? you should put all your focus on that, I think it's really exciting and if I didn't say so already, congratulations!

 

[Silatuyok]

Thank you

 

[SPV]

You're welcome

 

[JamesSmith]

So, you feel invisible and you have a b/f? Try living life w/out friends AND without a significant other like I do. Then you'll really feel invisible.

 

[pavnaxtion]

I have the hardest time stifling the envy I feel toward my boyfriend's ability to make and maintain friendships. He thinks it's jealousy, that I don't want him hanging out with other people, but really it just makes me feel like such a loser that I don't have anyone who calls me up or wants to hang out with me.
Bleh.

Does he ever invite you to go to events with him?

 

[Feathers]

Woo, Marie, you're buying a house with your man - Congratulations!!

Yeah, people may be jealous or just 'sexist' - may assume 'the man' is buying the house, while you're just being pretty?? (Or his male friends were prohibited to talk to you cause you're so pretty?? Who knows??)

Nanita and Marie, there is a sad truth that Agatha Christie summarized well in one of her novels: if you're pretty, women/girls won't like you, if you're not pretty, men won't like you... you both are really beautiful, and attractive to men, so jealousy may be a factor...

Maybe the sister is also single and gets miserable at seing a 'happy couple'...? Nanita, maybe the friend overheard her man to make a 'she's hot' remark about you (or give you the eyes)... I've heard Greek people can be jealous, yikes.. (Or maybe she even had a crush on your man once, and might be still a bit 'iffy' about it all?)

It's really important to like yourself anyway & find other people who will completely adore you!!

I think it's good if couples have some friends together, and some friends 'separately'...
There are certain behaviors that can make women like you more, it's different than hanging out with guys... (Agatha Christie says even making yourself 'look not so hot' can help ) Hope you meet some girls who won't feel intimidated by your looks and lovely personality though!!

 

[Silatuyok]

So, you feel invisible and you have a b/f? Try living life w/out friends AND without a significant other like I do. Then you'll really feel invisible.

I think that's all relative, but thanks for your reply.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I think that's all relative, but thanks for your reply.

exactly my thoughts on that comment.

 

[stevelee24]

i see where your coming from i could list a million examples like you have im always left out or ignored no matter how hard i try. i guess you have to just keep trying unless eventually someone will notice you ha

 

[Silatuyok]

i see where your coming from i could list a million examples like you have im always left out or ignored no matter how hard i try. i guess you have to just keep trying unless eventually someone will notice you ha

Yeah, you do have to keep trying. I've decided just to discount all the times when I feel like I am being ignored or overlooked, and instead focus on the times when I am praised, acknowledged, talked to, and noticed. It's much more pleasant that way.

 

[starbox]

I've noticed this all my life! Even if I say something quite interesting, I'm instantly eclipsed by someone popular spouting the banal; like when I got back from Russia & was briefly telling colleagues about it , someone walked in & said it was raining & everyone's attention focussed on them 'Is it? Raining hard?' !! I stopped doing facebook recently as again I'd notice other people would spout trivia but get replies, yet I put something quite traumatic one day & no one bothered to answer. At work no one tells me anything, just found out a manager's wife's expecting baby any day; everyone's like 'what, didnt you know?' but no one ever includes me in anything! I think the only answer is to see work as a means to getting £ and not care or be interested in anyone there. My life is family, cats, hobbies, my lovely little house. Who cares what other people do but dont want to share with you? And why bother to share your life with people who arent interested?

 

[MikeyC]

I got back from Russia & was briefly telling colleagues about it , someone walked in & said it was raining & everyone's attention focussed on them 'Is it? Raining hard?'

This is plain rude, pure and simple. I, for one, would have loved to have heard about your trip to Russia!

 

[sai]

com-on now u hav a great life...!! mi lif is worst.....!! when ever i go out a dozen people will come to me and say hi and a 10dozen peopl will try to hangout with me... a dozen women will stare at me a 10dozen women will try to tak me... and u kno what..?? i dont evnn get a word out of my mouth...!! this is called fifth tire weight...!! thank god for being invisible....
i m an idot... see i forgot to say Congrats.......................Congratulations marie!!

 

[sai]

pzzz solv it..////////i hav an uncleard doubt from many years... why do people spend $ 2-3oo,ooo on a flat ...?? why cant they live in a $1000 rented flat and enjoy rest of the money in vegas or goa...??

 

[AsTimeBurns]

pzzz solv it..////////i hav an uncleard dout from many years... why do people spend $ 2-3oo,ooo on a flat ...?? why cant they live in a $1000 rented flat and enjoy rest of the money in vegas or goa...??

wut?





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