Where should you go to find friends/relationship?

iamthenra

iamthenra

Well-known member
The ONLY thing that has ever worked for me is eHarmony and a free site called plentyoffish.com . I'm way to stressed approaching anyone who I don't know, so meeting anyone in person who I have never had contact with it out of the question.... I met 3 people from internet dating. One as far as Orlando, Florida, one from Osh Kosh, Wisconsin and the other from my home city here in Minnesota... I have asthma and I won't subject myself to cigarette smoke because I have trouble breathing up to 3 days following exposure to a smoke filled room. And as far as the quality of people in a bar? That really isn't my bag.... I want a good person who doesn't drink allot, and who doesn't smoke for obvious reasons. Just a good old fashioned "girl next door" kind of gal... But where to find such a gem??? I have no clue.... Since my last date when I was 38, I pretty much gave up trying... I am now 41, and people my age who are still single (like me) have major issues... We are single (at my age) for a reason.
 
F

FOR REAL

Banned
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Kat

Kat

Well-known member
bony666 said:
Well that's what people say but I don't think it really works as usually stop looking once am tired of searching, and then I become too depressed and people are even more reluctant to approach me !!! does that make sense ? I mean once you stop looking, you become desperate about not finding anyone, and people read the desperation on your face. that in itself can be an obstacle to start a conversation ;(
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Yeah, people can sense ulterior motives. It’s not wrong to want those things but for some reason something about it puts people right off. I haven’t discovered the answer for that really either. I consider myself lucky for what I do have.

I am not for or against finding friends or relationship over the internet of coarse but the internet is really one dimensional because you do see people’s personalities but it’s from your interpretation of them and it’s a bias view because tone of voice and expression really adds to a personality and that doesn’t get entirely captured into text. It’s hard to explain really but some people can make it work regardless of circumstances but those cases are usually just meant to be.

And it’s a good idea to do activities you like and learn more about yourself and grow as a person. It’s hard to know what people like but what’s important is finding out what you like so when it does happen you don’t make hasty decisions based on not knowing yourself well enough.
 
talisman

talisman

Well-known member
lmao @ cartoon :D

I've been trying hard lately to make friends...and it seems the harder you try the harder you fail.

I've tried several free dating sites but almost everyone ignores my messages. Those who do reply stop after a few messages.

I've tried various SA forums. Although I do get responses, they tend to fizzle out quickly. Most people aren't even willing to put much effort into chatting. Maybe its down to shyness and anxiety. Personally I always try and reply and I usually try and drive the conversation, asking questions, giving full answers etc. Sadly, people I try and chat to don't do likewise and it just becomes pointless. Clearly they can't or won't try and be friends.

I did use a chatroom a while ago on shyunited and that was pretty good. Made a few friends out of it. I still think if you can find a good chatroom its the best way of communicating online, but I don't know any decent chatrooms anymore, though there are a few SA ones I've yet to venture into.

I guess activity/sport clubs are good, but they tend not to be local (helps if you drive, which I don't), very few are listed online and most are too intimidating for me. If I could take a friend along I'd try them, but alas I have no friends locally, hence why I'm on here. lol
 
Pookah

Pookah

Well-known member
The only guys I have met in real life from online ended up being either too damaged to want to be friends/more with me or were trying to "help" me but not actually be friends. So I'm a bit wary of social networking and dating sites now.
 
Tiercel

Tiercel

Well-known member
Pookah said:
The only guys I have met in real life from online ended up being either too damaged to want to be friends/more with me or were trying to "help" me but not actually be friends. So I'm a bit wary of social networking and dating sites now.
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Great word choice! I believe Trent Reznor wrote a song about me called "Somewhat Damaged." And to be fair, it's not like the ladies ever lined up to get to me. And I've developed into a rather antisocial person over the years, but at least I'm honest.

And you don't seem too scary. So pick your favorite dark, deserted alley, and I promise to bring some polyhedral dice. They never roll too well, but at least I have a variety of different colors for different characters/situations. ;)
 
O

overcome.

Well-known member
People come together for all sorts of reasons. Clubs are a good way to meet people, I don't mean nightclubs. I mean clubs of interests, such as a gym, a book club, a sports club, etc. Here, you'll meet people with the same interests as you, otherwise they wouldn't be at these events. A good way I've met a lot of different people is at gyms. Sure, you may be entirely different people from different walks of life, but there's normally at least one common interest that brings you together as friends.
 
K

klytus

Well-known member
overcome. said:
People come together for all sorts of reasons. Clubs are a good way to meet people, I don't mean nightclubs. I mean clubs of interests, such as a gym, a book club, a sports club, etc. Here, you'll meet people with the same interests as you, otherwise they wouldn't be at these events. A good way I've met a lot of different people is at gyms. Sure, you may be entirely different people from different walks of life, but there's normally at least one common interest that brings you together as friends.
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Another good place should be a martial arts course, or self-defense course, if you are interested in such activities. Or really any other sports club. If you are in university/college, and interested in what you study, there naturally ought to be some other people who share those interests.
 
Pookah

Pookah

Well-known member
Tiercel said:
Great word choice! I believe Trent Reznor wrote a song about me called "Somewhat Damaged." And to be fair, it's not like the ladies ever lined up to get to me. And I've developed into a rather antisocial person over the years, but at least I'm honest.

And you don't seem too scary. So pick your favorite dark, deserted alley, and I promise to bring some polyhedral dice. They never roll too well, but at least I have a variety of different colors for different characters/situations. ;)
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I gravitate towards dysfunction which doesn't seem to gel too well with my own dysfunction. :(

Dark alley eh?
 
Tiercel

Tiercel

Well-known member
Pookah said:
Dark alley eh?
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Don't people with fangs prefer dark alleys? I seem to recall a pic of you showing off yours.

I guess the only thing you need to know is that I'm AB positive. Not too hot for a donor, but I'd make a great vampire.

:D
 
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Krista

Well-known member
Um, I'm kinda wondering this as well. I always had my friends because we went to the same school but when that option has exhausted itself, where else do you go? I suppose a job would open you up and continuing school. Hard to engage random people in the act of conversing without it being some weird/awkward situation.
 
Pookah

Pookah

Well-known member
I may just go around saying "Hi, gimme kiss." To random men that walk passed. "Gimme hug." To random women to be my friends.
 
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