Where should you go to find friends/relationship?

Pookah

Well-known member
The one thing I can't figure out is where exactly are you supposed to go for friends and more than friends. I'm not the bar or club type. No one I work with is suitable or interested. It all seems too random anyway.

I thought maybe the internet would be more help seeing as you can focus in on things you yourself are interested in and find like minded individuals.

How did those here in relationships find their significant others?

If friends and lovers are a game of chance then I wonder if there isn't really one person out there for you but many or none.
 

206Raider

Well-known member
I don't know either, I want to make some new friends myself but don't start school til March and don't really relate too much to my old friends.
 

megalon

Well-known member
I'm wondering the same questions lately.

If friends and lovers are a game of chance then I wonder if there isn't really one person out there for you but many or none.

My belief on this is that there is someone for everyone, but some of us, myself included, will never find our someones.
 

206Raider

Well-known member
I'm about to watch Denzel Washington beat people up at his old age in that Book of Eli movie but I don't have shyt to do later. Anybody can talk to me on mesenger, I have a feeling I will be bored lol.
 

philly2bits

Well-known member
I have no idea either. Clubs and bars are the only places I know where people go to specifically meet other people. In any other social situation meeting people seems to be secondary to whatever else might be going on.
 

Pookah

Well-known member
I'm not sure I want to make friends or try to meet someone of interest in a bar or club because I don't think they would be right for me if that was their hang out.

Oh the olden days when the families all forced everyone to socialize at gatherings...lol
 

ayama

Member
my question exactly... I don't smoke or drink alcohol and bars and clubs aren't a place for me. So what to do? I even found a meetup group for people with interests similar to mine, but when the time for a meetup came, I didn't go, because I was scared of coming to the room and having to introduce myself, being the center of attention while talking, having to make and keep up conversations, I was afraid of being too ugly, stupid, fat, old, whatever. I even know it doesn't sound rational, but I can't help it. I would be comfy coming through the back door, sitting quietly in the back somewhere where there isn't much light, just observing and listening, not having to be involved really. But then I wouldn't be really making friends.....
 

Pookah

Well-known member
I have a profile on meetup.com but none of the meetups are very close, closest is an hour and its in the city, I am terrified of driving in cities.
 

Kat

Well-known member
I’ve heard people say they’ve found someone when they weren’t looking, sometimes that’s the most natural approach but it’s hard to be natural by suppressing your hopes and feelings. It’s best you join and get involved in activities you’re interested in, you’re more likely to attract someone you can connect with doing something you enjoy then hanging around places you don’t want anything to do with. The internet’s not bad but don’t get your hopes up until you have met them in person but it can be a start, just be safe about it.
 

Nicholas

Well-known member
The one thing I can't figure out is where exactly are you supposed to go for friends and more than friends. I'm not the bar or club type. No one I work with is suitable or interested. It all seems too random anyway.

I thought maybe the internet would be more help seeing as you can focus in on things you yourself are interested in and find like minded individuals.
That's exactly what I've been wondering and worrying about for quite a while.
At one point, I was convinced that the internet was the best solution, but then I realized that the internet is probably a very good solution ONLY IF you also meet your online friends in real life, regularly.
It's hard to find what we want in real life, because often you actually need to take the time to know someone you hardly know anything about, while online you can often find out more about a person just by chatting a bit or reading whatever they've written in their posts/profiles/blogs/etc. The problem is, you know, if you find interesting online friends that live more than a thousand miles away... it's a problem, you know.
However, I'm not really convinced... I don't know what to do either.
 

mrb

Well-known member
iv made quite a few freinds on chat rooms , i even met my gf on a chat room , it takes a while sometimes in a chat room to get noticed by someone who has the same scence of humor , or interests as you ... i used to go out a lot with my mates bars and stuff but not anymore , there are a lot of dating or freindship sites out there ... keep looking pookah .......
 

shore_of_glass

Well-known member
I've also thought a lot about it. And I've decided that I'm just gonna do what I like to do and let it roll.
Of course I have a little push from the only friend I have, some might not have that at all.
Internet seems good, if you find people who live near you.
 

megalon

Well-known member
I just came to the realization that all the few people that I consider friends or have considered friends in the past have all been sort of "out of necessity". People that I went to school with, or work with. People that I am/was forced to be around for many hours a day. I don't think I've ever made a single friend without these circumstances that allow me to get to know someone over a long period of time. I wish I hadn't thought of that. Now I feel more hopeless than ever. ::(:
 

klytus

Well-known member
Well, I met lots of people at university, and that alone in the first couple of weeks. Six to seven of which I regularly meet up with. I don't consider them "friends", but haven't known each other for long, either, so something may develop.

Relationships are much more difficult to find. I honestly don't know where to look for a female sufficiently similar to me to fully enjoy her company.
 

very_shy

Well-known member
Like Megalon said, almost all the time you are forced with people, be it at work, school etc. And you consider them friends somehow.

But when you finish school, search your first work (or worse, when lose it), then suddenly you realise you are left alone. The people who used to call you before (even when just needing help), are now gone. And now you must surrender to the specific social rules to gather new acquaintances.

On the other hand, even when gaining new "friend", the most difficult thing is to keep him. After 3-4 meetings, a couple of MSN chats, the pattern of chat becomes obvious. 1. How are you? 2. What are you doing? 3. How is school/work (and other official stuff). Now I almost always end with no.3, to move further, or even to think of some kind of relationship, is beyond me. :)
 

Luke1993

Well-known member
Counselor tells me to go to clubs,(Not nightclubs lol) so people have similar interests as me, but unfortunately there's nothing that really interests me or anything I'm good at lol. I want to do something though but I can't find anything that I'm good at unfortunately.
 

bony666

Well-known member
I’ve heard people say they’ve found someone when they weren’t looking, sometimes that’s the most natural approach but it’s hard to be natural by suppressing your hopes and feelings. It’s best you join and get involved in activities you’re interested in, you’re more likely to attract someone you can connect with doing something you enjoy then hanging around places you don’t want anything to do with. The internet’s not bad but don’t get your hopes up until you have met them in person but it can be a start, just be safe about it.

Well that's what people say but I don't think it really works as usually stop looking once am tired of searching, and then I become too depressed and people are even more reluctant to approach me !!! does that make sense ? I mean once you stop looking, you become desperate about not finding anyone, and people read the desperation on your face. that in itself can be an obstacle to start a conversation ;(
 

bony666

Well-known member
I'm wondering the same questions lately.



My belief on this is that there is someone for everyone, but some of us, myself included, will never find our someones.

yes I have also been asking my self , I have tried so many times and am tired now, (I have been with SP for more than 15 years now) and still nothing: no Love, No friendship, so I have just concluded that there's a sort of 'spell on me' and that I was born to be lonely. Friendship, love & relationships in general are not an exact science: we cannot decide to have friends ! it's not A+B=C , it's so complex ... and therefore I just gave up and am trying now to focus on the other things that I like in life: such as helping others, dancing, movies, ice cream, space race, nature, nice food, good music...among others..
 
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