In the industry i wanted to work in i just didn't have the ego or a bossy enough personality to really get anywhere which takes a fair bit of self confidence to reach and certain personalities are more suited to it. I just don't have that, even though i worked hard, its just not enough. You have to also be able to adapt to cliques, know how and when to communicate with people in the industry and at work. You have to reach a point where you are respected somehow. That's far from a simple process.
So i'm back at the drawing board working in temping instead.
Most people my age that i know have pursued their careers and seem to progress really well with ease, they never really take a backwars step and are getting married, owning homes. So christmas and birthdays are just embarrassing for me. Because everyone is so successful in their career and i'm sort of thrown out to the sharks.
So i think its definitely a self esteem issue. If you have low self esteem then it makes things really hard in any industry even if you put your head down and chip away and work hard. Ask questions, eventually the company wants you to be a leader or a supervisor etc, and that it takes courage to do that.
I've never been passionate enough about a career, i mean its a way of earning money, but nothing really jumped out at me to take on. Because careers seem so forced to me compared to say general interests.
I've been semi passionate about hobbies, otherwise i'm just really placid and complaicent about them.
Also you have to have energy, sustained energy to succeed. which means emotional energy and a spark, or motivation.
Still trying to figure out how to reach that.
But my dream jow would be to make music instrumental themes for tv shows. Or to be a Mister fix It. Maintenance guy.