what uncomfortable about talking for you ?
- Thread starter Bo592
- Start date
Dinosaur
Well-known member
I find it hard talking about myself,never seem to have anything interesting to say about myself.Would rather talk about the person i'm talking to
What makes it hard for me is that i have so many thoughts going thru my head at once that it nearlly always comes out as a jumbled mess if at all
What makes it hard for me is that i have so many thoughts going thru my head at once that it nearlly always comes out as a jumbled mess if at all
Bo592
Well-known member
I am trying to find the area that seem to bother most of us about SA. Is it somthing to do with are breathing like in are body that make it hard for us to talk. or is it are Thanking pattern Do just thank too many bad thought about are selfeves. for me it trying to come up with the right messages which seem to be very few people on here has that problem.
Labyrinthine
Well-known member
I have a very hard time conveying what I'm thinking. I worry way too much about possibly offending anyone by saying the wrong thing, and in turn it ends up being hard for me to start conversations and keep them going. I have a hard time understanding what exactly would make a good topic for discussion. Everything in life seems pretty obvious to me. Nothing seems like it needs to be discussed, or hasn't been discussed before by those more capable. I'm worried about prying into the life of others without them saying something first, in once again fear of offending someone.
Not to mention, it doesn't help when my mind wanders off on me. <.<
Not to mention, it doesn't help when my mind wanders off on me. <.<
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Section_31
Well-known member
i cant explain it......i just feel very very tense when talking to men. Women im actually totally relaxed with, lol. Never had problems getting a GF that way. But put me in a room full of other guys and im dead dead quiet.
I don't feel comfortable talking in public because I'm scared people will judge me. I've been called stupid and slow before. When people ask me questions, I sometimes pause for a moment or 2 and then reply. Some people think I'm slow because I take a long time to come up with a reply. I'm not a fast talker, so when people listen to my speeches, they tend to get bored and interrupt me. Over time, I kind of lost confidence in my speaking abilities. And some people call me stupid for whatever reason.
I'm also scared of offending other people when I talk; sometimes, I inadvertently say things that anger other people or hurt their feelings. I just don't have the negotiation/tact skills that some people have; they can say negative things but they twist it into such great euphemisms that people are not offended at all.
When I'm around attractive people, I get even more nervous because I fear that they will look down on me and spread rumors about me.
I'm also scared of offending other people when I talk; sometimes, I inadvertently say things that anger other people or hurt their feelings. I just don't have the negotiation/tact skills that some people have; they can say negative things but they twist it into such great euphemisms that people are not offended at all.
When I'm around attractive people, I get even more nervous because I fear that they will look down on me and spread rumors about me.
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...The sound of My voice...Everything just sounds weird coming out of my mouth. It just feels weird just to be an individual sometimes and to see myself out there how I see other people. It just feels strange sometimes to be apart of the human experience, I guess. How I stand off and see the world, the world has to stand off and see me.
BleedTheFreak
Well-known member
A lot of what other people have said so far. Eye contact is impossible for me. I can't imagine what I must look like when I'm talking, looking at the person in the eyes for 2 seconds then looking down, then looking left or right, then looking at them for another 2 seconds, etc. Also I don't like to express any kind of opinion because eventually I'm going to say something that someone doesn't agree with and I don't want to be called out and forced to defend something I've said. That's one of my biggest fears when speaking and it's why I usually decide to either agree with whatever the person is saying or just say "I don't know".
HappySquidward
Well-known member
Whenever I'm in a conversation I try to always agree with the person I'm talking to, so I don't have to explain myself. Alot of times I just have no idea of what to say so I just nod. If i do have something to say then I fear I won't get heard. When talking to more than one person I have trouble keeping eye contact. I hate talking about myself or my opinions, so I usually say things like "I don't know". And finally, I hate my non masculine voice
I have a very mind draining difficult time talking to my own two kids. I feel as if they think I'm not smart enough to understand what they go through being in college away from home. I just want to keep an open line of communication and want them to know how much I love them but it just won't come out right so I find myself not trying as much. It is a real stupid thing on my part,I so messed up. Now...put me toe to toe with a pier and its a whole nother story. I mean I'm able to say what needs to be said. I am messed up huh? I am working on it though.
I am with you...I don't trust many people. That's why I am here and I now realized that's why I would prefer to talk to a total stranger that doesn't know people I know and sign on to the whole confidentiality thing. I can't talk to anyone, I'm sad to say, in my family much less someone else I know without everyone else knowing about it. It's like being at work in payton place.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
This sums it up pretty well.
Although the main one is simple, I'm a purpose driven person. If I could come up with a decisive purpose / goal for having a specific conversation, i'm not anxious. But general conversation, I don't understand the human mind to understand the purpose of it. I understand it eliminates loneliness, but while speaking, what is the purpose of trading words and speaking thoughts? It's not concrete..
That and I am afraid of attention. Being a middle child I am not used to it, it's ****ing scary as ****, ****.. Oh, wait, I can add to that too, I don't understand social graces and boundaries, what to talk about and what not to. My goal is authenticity, so naturally I would talk about some serious **** to strangers, but have to stop myself. Wow, there's a lot.
chibiXphantom
Well-known member
i just get nervous about what im saying. then what i start saying is different that what im thinking. it comes out wrong, then i get more nervous, lose my train of thought and my words get all jumbled and i stop making any sense at all