Jealousy really bothers me. I notice I am very jealous of high achievers. When I read a story about a guy with cancer who is also very successful in the animation industry, had a big mansion on Malibu, and was a big philanthropist and had his own foundation, I was green with jealousy. I was also jealous of "leakers" and "Robin Hoods" who sacrified everything they had for the common good. It didn't matter how much they sacrificed to get to where they are; I'm still jealous.
I am currently ****yzing why I am so quick to be jealous and envious of others. I am jealous of rich people, but I am even more jealous of rich people who do good. I am especially jealous of courageous people who are do good AND are popular for doing it. I am jealous of their popularity, because I was never popular. I was always the outcast, never quite fitting in, and when someone needed someone to pick on, it was me. I was the black sheep. It didn't matter how good I am or how well-intentioned I am, people either don't see it or just didn't care. So, I am jealous when I see good people doing good stuff AND getting praise for it.
I am trying to stop myself from being jealous so easily. There's gotta be a cure for this. I think 1 possible solution to this is to be an underachiever and have very low expectations for myself. The herders in Mongolia sure are happy even with very little resources and little or no education. I wonder what makes them happy. Maybe it's because they have low expectations about life. In the same vein, maybe I need to have lower expectations for myself. Let's face it, I will not be Robin Hood or Mother Teresa in my lifetime. I am no saint. The point is to accept yourself for who you are and stop caring about popularity or whatever.
Ok, despite what i said about people pleasing earlier, I still do have people pleasing tendencies. I have never quite gotten over the days where I was unpopular and bullied for it. But from this day forward, I will fight such people pleasing tendencies and try to accept myself more.