Virgin males VS virgin females
- Thread starter restless
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mrb
Well-known member
On the other hand guys who cant get a girlfriend or choose to not sleep around are wankers,gay, while girls are a saint and respectable.
Anubis
Well-known member
If being a virgin bothers you so much, then why not just hire an escort? They're not that expensive, and a lot of you don't seem to have any religious restrictions, so I don't see what's stopping you. They're also pretty good looking nowadays.
I mean, if I knew that simply having sex would cure me, I'd do it in a heart beat. (Unfortunately, my problem isn't as simple as that, lol).
I mean, if I knew that simply having sex would cure me, I'd do it in a heart beat. (Unfortunately, my problem isn't as simple as that, lol).
jco3
Active member
I'm 19 and still haven't held a girls hand. Ever since middle school I can remember this intense anxiety around girls - I would avoid them at all costs. This has faded over time... Sort of. But still, it would be nice to hold a relationship. Sex doesn't seem like it would be that life-altering. So yeah, I'm just looking for love.
One thing I fear is that I'm not emotionally stable enough to hold a consistent relationship. I can hardly approach a girl...
One thing I fear is that I'm not emotionally stable enough to hold a consistent relationship. I can hardly approach a girl...
True! What weird double standards we have.
if the problem is that you cant hold relationship or approach girls and find a GF,then theres not much you can do about it and probably youre better when you are not around girls.But if youre problem is that other people bother you by harassing and embarrassing that you are a virgin then it means youre too sensitive and think more about what some idiots tell you.
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userremoved
Guest
I'm curious as to where this standard originated in the first place. Is this a worldwide thing or just an American thing? Also why do people keep saying "Just buy a prostitute" on here? Isn't that still against the law? I'm not going to commit crimes just to get laid lol.
Most definitely not illegal in the better part of Europe.
Nah, that's certainly just an excuse.
I believe honestly that the whole thing of being a virgin is worse than people think. It's probably going to get somebody down because they feel like they're 'behind' everybody else (due to anxiety) in terms of 'development' and in terms of getting older perhaps. I think the thing that probably bothers people more, without throwing it in their face, is that as well as being a virgin there's a good chance they haven't ever experienced the positives (and negatives I suppose) of a relationship, or relationships. Including little things like holding hands, kissing, etc. That's just my theory. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, I have friends that are still virgins at 18/19, I have friends that aren't. I know a male friends that haven't even kissed a girl, that's a shame but in my eyes it's nothing for you to look down on somebody for. It's societies standards that by a certain age, you must have had sex, had a relationship or be in a relationship, have moved out, have your own things, have a job/car, place to live, etc.
It's all about general 'normal' standards I think. What is normal? There are many different lifestyle choices, general lifestyles, hobbies and ways of life lead that there is no normal to be honest. What one person considers to be normal, another may totally disagree. I know it's hard to do, but try to focus on loving your self, self love (not selfishness) and then you'd be comfortable with yourself regardless of the experiences you've had in life. Nothing lasts forever.
It's all about general 'normal' standards I think. What is normal? There are many different lifestyle choices, general lifestyles, hobbies and ways of life lead that there is no normal to be honest. What one person considers to be normal, another may totally disagree. I know it's hard to do, but try to focus on loving your self, self love (not selfishness) and then you'd be comfortable with yourself regardless of the experiences you've had in life. Nothing lasts forever.
My guess is it's a cultural thing. But, that's an interesting question.
And I wouldn't either...meaningless sex isn't worth it.
Yeah, well, the advice that you are first supposed to love yourself and be fully happy with your life until you can find a girlfriend can only be given to those who struggle finding a new girlfriend, those who have already had their fair share of experiences - it usually comes from people who aren't virgins any more and can think of the act and the related concepts, such as a relationship, in a more relaxed fashion.
It isn't, though. At least not the way it's presented. Sex and sexual intimacy are basic human needs. You cannot find yourself attractive without being shown attraction. You cannot fully focus on your personal development with unfulfilled sexual urges. Of course, not having sex won't stop you from being or becoming successful. But the desire is always going to be there, and unless it is fulfilled, and love is experienced, it will always remain a source of distraction.
It is unrealistic to "love oneself" while one is clearly not lovable/likable/approachable. A simple comparison shows that a virgin lacks something the sexually active man doesn't. And the fact that there is, at a certain reasonable age, only a diminishing number of virgins left, shows, too, that it is an abnormality, in the truest sense of the word. It is a deviation from normality - so is, though, excessive sexual activity.
The point is, "love yourself and you will be loved" is useless advice in this regard. Get out and get someone to have ardent sex with, drop your hilariously unrealistic expectations, drop the unworldly intensified concept of romance, and stop putting women on a pedestal that high even they get scared of the height.
Eventually you will have to learn to love yourself for who you are. But you first have to find out who you truly are, and that takes time, and lots of experience.
I agree, it's worthless. Waiting until you find an individual that you care for, and they care for you. I'm sure there's many people who find it hard to tell the difference between love and infatuation.
At the beginning there usually is no difference.
For you, of course, but that ought to go without saying. The waiting part is not going to work. If you wait, and eventually find someone you care about, chances are -very- high she won't care at all about you.
That's a way of thinking about it, perhaps from a negative point of view. I understand what you say about there being no difference between love and infatuation, and I can agree to some degree actually. If you end up loving a person from a dating point of view, there's a fine chance you'd have been infatuated by them leading up to that. Also, the chances are that not everybody you come into contact with, or have a relationship won't care about you. There are bound to be a few people at least that come and go who do care for you, or have at a certain point in time.
Im a virgin too. This is the first time I have admitted it but I have lied to friends about it. Im 22 and I have serious problems with the ladies. I get a good bit of attention from girs and when it comes too phsical contact I just run away. Its mad. I am ashamed of my body as I think I am too skinny. My worst experience was when I was on hollidays a few years ago with my mates for the first time and when they all took their tops off Muscles galore etc... and My confidence just went so low and I have never been the same again. This has led to anxiety problems and because I dont go out I dont get the opportunity to do the business :: and I just want to get it over a done with and I would feel far more confident.Maybe I just have to find a girl that doesnt ****e on to other girls about me.
But it is torture being a male virgin at 22 ::
but I have lied to friends about it. Im 22 and I have serious problems with the ladies. I get a good bit of attention from girs and when it comes too phsical contact I just run away. Its mad. I am ashamed of my body as I think I am too skinny. My worst experience was when I was on hollidays a few years ago with my mates for the first time and when they all took their tops off Muscles galore etc... and My confidence just went so low and I have never been the same again. This has led to anxiety problems and because I dont go out I dont get the opportunity to do the business :: and I just want to get it over a done with and I would feel far more confident.Maybe I just have to find a girl that doesnt ****e on to other girls about me.But it is torture being a male virgin at 22 :
:Im a virgin too. This is the first time I have admitted it
But it is torture being a male virgin at 22 :
Sorry to quote the whole thing, but there's a few things I thought I'd mention/suggest. I know it'd be hard for you, but have you ever thought of joining the gym? If you wanted to put on a bit of muscle that is, and do your own research about nutrition/training. It's a hard thing to learn, getting to know your body is the hardest and how it responds to variations of exercise and diet. But surely, if this is something you think could (and would, I tell you now) increase your self esteem and self confidence, then it's worth looking in to? I mean I know it's not a miracle cure for your problems, but it's a real positive start and could trigger many good things as well as the increased confidence about yourself.
Without writing my own autobiography (lol), I did this at 16 (I've just turned 19). In the UK you can only join (at least a commercialised) a gym at 16, I started a little bit at home at 15, did my own research from the internet, magazines, etc. Now I've put on a lot of weight, muscle weight. I was conscious in school of my build being one of the tallest guys in the class but being fairly skinny. It worked for me confidence wise, I've dated a few women and socialised for years with people in gyms and made good friends from all of that.
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Well, of course, but "not every girl you come in contact with" is a huge understatement. The truth is more like "almost no girl". Especially for "shy/unconfident guys" or "guys with insane expectations" or "guys with other issues" like those who make up the better part of this online community. And that for a good reason. The solution is certainly not "waiting".