Trying to get away from this Facebook ****

[schist]

What the title says. I've deactivated my FB account, in hopes that I can try and make a better life for myself.

See, a lot of my SA over the past year or so has actually stemmed from Facebook. The way it is, is that friendships are now seemingly divided into two camps: real-life friends/acquaintances and Facebook friends/acquaintances. So, you have people that will add you on Facebook but not talk to you in real life, and people that you can have decent conversations with in real life, but they for some reason will not accept your friend request on Facebook. A lot of the people I'm meeting in life nowadays fall into the latter category. I'm not exactly a self-pitying person, and I don't believe there is anything inherently wrong with me, but I don't see why I can't just be treated like everyone else. I don't wanna have to be forced to believe that nearly everyone I meet is duplicitous.

Bottom line is, FB's caused me a lot of grief over the past while in regards to my social anxiety, and I don't wanna have to go through it all again.

Anyone else had similar experiences?

 

[choochoocharlee]

yep, none of my facebook friends were my friends in real life, well not anymore at least.. i also deactivated mine, i feel a lot better now without reading about their (social) lives every day.

 

[lunarla]

I deactivated my first account that I made years ago, then made a new one this year. In the beginning, just logging on would give me anxiety, but that's slowly going away now.

 

[schist]

I deactivated my first account that I made years ago, then made a new one this year. In the beginning, just logging on would give me anxiety, but that's slowly going away now.

I'm just sick of sending friend requests around to people I know who I talk to and don't appear to dislike me, and having them unanswered (since there's no "Ignore" option on FB now). It really puts things into perspective for you, and makes you think about how people really are.

 

[lunarla]

Maybe try not having expectations for people? I probably don't have that problem because I never send friend requests.

 

[schist]

Maybe try not having expectations for people? I probably don't have that problem because I never send friend requests.

I rarely do.

Dunno, maybe I should just accept that nobody likes me ...

 

[schist]

Well I logged back on. F**k I'm weak ... ::

 

[schist]

Well, I logged out again, and this time I'm sticking with it. If any of my friends want me they can send me an SMS/email/call me/chat to me on MSN.

I remember when friendships/relationships could be taken at face value, ie. what you saw was generally what you got. None of this 2-sided "friends in real life, but no way in hell am I going to accept your friend request" bulls**t.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I hardly ever send friend requests on FB. I won't send them to people I don't know or people I've just met. I do have someone on FB who doesn't talk to me in real life. I'm not devastaded over it because I don't really care to hang out with her. This is because every time she's been around my friends and I would show up, she would look down with an annoyed expression on her face. I don't know why she sent me an invite in the first place. I accepted it to be polite and because she's friends with my good friends, but I made sure to set my profile status default so that she can't see it.

 

[fitftw]

the only reason I keep mine active is because I hope one of the women I know will contact me and say she misses me and wants to hang out.

I can handle not seeing people in real life, but if I take out the internet aspect as well, I'll crumble and probably start bashing my body into the walls in the room like a maniac.

 

[schist]

I added my roommate to FB and she hasnt added me back. But that might be because she rarely uses the computer. Shes not the type that would not add someone. There are numerous times where I would leave a good friend of mine a message and never get a reply.

How many people did you add who didn't accept?

Pretty much everyone I've tried adding in the past 2 or so months hasn't accepted. Which is strange, because a lot of these people are people who I'm 95% sure do not dislike me (ie. they act friendly towards me, I can hold a good conversation with them, and I've seen how they act towards people I know they dislike, and it's not the way they treat me), and I have a clear photo of myself as my DP. And most of these people log in everyday.

 

[schist]

Thats really strange man. Regardless, don't sweat it. Like your instinct says, they don't hate you. It can for the fact that they only add people they know really well?

Bulls**t. Most of these people have 300+ friends, and they even accept adds from distant acquaintances.

Seems to me that Facebook is indeed the asylum of the two-faced and deceitful, and I no longer want any part of that crowd.

 

[ありがとう]

Well maybe it is best for you to deactivate it if it's making you paranoid and anxious.

I am not sure why they aren't adding you back, maybe they don't log in that much? I know sometimes I've added some people and it took like 3 months till they got back to me. Nevertheless if they don't add me back, it's fine by me since I don't want anything to do with them.

 

[schist]

Well maybe it is best for you to deactivate it if it's making you paranoid and anxious.

I am not sure why they aren't adding you back, maybe they don't log in that much? I know sometimes I've added some people and it took like 3 months till they got back to me. Nevertheless if they don't add me back, it's fine by me since I don't want anything to do with them.

Have you read any part of this topic?

I told you, I've logged out of FB for an unspecified period of time, and a lot of these people log in every day.

 

[ありがとう]

No, I only read the first and last post. Well if it is really bothering you, why don't you just message them and see why they haven't added you back. Tell them you enjoyed chatting to them and would like to chat/hang out with them more? If they don't reply, then forget about them, they aren't worth your time.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Bulls**t. Most of these people have 300+ friends, and they even accept adds from distant acquaintances.

Seems to me that Facebook is indeed the asylum of the two-faced and deceitful, and I no longer want any part of that crowd.

Why do you care that much about these people not adding you?
If you don't know them well enough to ask them why they didn't accept you,
it seems to me that they are not your real life friends anyway.
Facebook is a tool to stay in contact with people you care about. It is not about having 300 random people in your list.
In my opinion at least.

 

[Liam17]

Nah, your not weak. Happens to me all the time.

Facebook, corrupts the mind.

 

[fitftw]

i'm on fb almost every waking minute of the day. I wish I could just throw my computer out the window and be comfortable alone with my thoughts and not have to resort to internet.

 

[Phoenixx]

I just deactivated my Facebook account a couple weeks ago. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I'm not sure if anyone else felt this way about it, but I always felt pressured that I never had enough "friends", people pressured me about the fact I didn't have a profile pic of myself (I'm so self-concious, I can't stand looking at current pictures of myself, let alone get my pic taken :/) and I needed to get one. I also felt depressed just looking at happy group photos of pretty much anyone, just wishing I was actually confident enough to go out and have fun and hang out.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I'm an avid FB user and I really don't see a problem with it. Sometimes I feel down/envious when I see that I haven't accomplished as much as others have, but I realize that I didn't/don't have to make the same choices as them. I don't think I'm less of a person because I don't have a high paying job and own a BMW at the age of 26. It would be great to have. I won't knock it, but having those things wouldn't necessarily make me a person of value.

As far as friendship is concerned, one shouldn't expect to develop any meaningful connections with most of their FB "friends". Especially not with three hundred of them. The same applies to life outside the www. There are a few people with whom I have made connections and those few are more than enough. I've always been one to keep a small coterie anyway.

I am now pondering whether I can actually take more people off my list without them noticing. lol ::