Infected_Malignity
Well-known member
that's cause all girls are evil
this sucks! i never had a girl in my whole life!
- Thread starter tupac
- Start date
drd77
Active member
well guys, its all about getting the balls to approach her. i know that its easier said than done, but you have to be bold with women. and you should be a gentleman, but don't act overly nice. that will scare them away. i've learned a lot from a site called sosuave.com. you guys should check it out.
Richey
Well-known member
a girl at a shop seemed verrry interested in me last time i walked in for a bite to eat, she wanted to know my name so i'm thinking next time i'll definately ask her out to a movie or just to meet up, just as friends, i have nothing to lose at all and i'd rather at least find out how i go rather then not knowing at all ...
she's really cute and smart too ..
she's really cute and smart too ..
blah123
Member
well i keep meeting guys that i really like but end up completely pushing them away coz of my HH and its so sad it really depresses me watching all my friends getting into really deep relationships and i never get to do anything
and not all girls are evil. some of them r just as insecure as u
and not all girls are evil. some of them r just as insecure as u
Infected_Malignity
Well-known member
Leki said:
If you're a girl, I sincerely apologize...
If you're a guy: ALL GIRLS ARE EVIL! SRSLY!!
I'm a little evil too though, so I have no room to talk. But at least I don't have a vagina... that's a scary thought.
ImSorry
Member
I have trouble with girls too, i had my first and only gf until I was 21(well I'm still 21)
I've read a lot about this problem, and I would say, if you are reaching 20, haven't been in a relationship and you are socially awkward, shy... start to worry you have to work on that ASAP
real life 40 year old virgins started the same way as us, and it's a more common problem than we think, and very easy to have it the only thing we have to do is wait...
I've read a lot about this problem, and I would say, if you are reaching 20, haven't been in a relationship and you are socially awkward, shy... start to worry you have to work on that ASAP
real life 40 year old virgins started the same way as us, and it's a more common problem than we think, and very easy to have it the only thing we have to do is wait...
phuonganh
Member
I’m 23 and I have never gone on a date, never been kissed, so of course never had a boyfriend. I think this is due to the fact that I have always been in schools and classes where there are mostly girls and very few boys, as I’m not really social phobic, I’m just slightly social anxious. However, I kind of enjoy my single status.
Anyway, I’m new on SPW. I have been looking through some other threads and it seems that a lot of guys here have trouble talking to the girls. Interestingly, while some of you feel like you “have nothing to offer”, many of you know your good qualities but are just too shy to show them.
I guess the thing to do is to be more confident but I do realize this is something easier said than done. Maybe you could work on one small thing at a time. I think you should start by making a list of conversation topics to avoid the mind-going-blank situation (even if you can’t think of anything interesting, I’m sure there are websites that offer suggestions). Practice introducing yourself and talking about those topics infront of a mirror (they say practice makes perfect!). Then, you can try to be more sociable with the people you already know, like your friends, classmates, family or colleagues so you don’t get too nervous. I think setting smaller goals could help too. Instead of “I’m gonna make that girl fall head over heels for me”, try something along the line of “I’m gonna go over there and say hi and introduce myself”. Ask the girl about her interests for example. If she is in to painting you can ask what kind of painting she does, why she likes it blah blah blah… Voice your opinion too. Tell her something about yourself (this you have practiced!). If you succeed in asking her out, going to the movies is not a bad idea for a first date. That way, you’re on a date, but you won’t have to talk for at least 90 minutes, and if afterwards you don’t have anything to say, at least you can talk about the movie you just saw.
The things above are just my personal opinions. Hope they can help somewhat.
Anyway, I’m new on SPW. I have been looking through some other threads and it seems that a lot of guys here have trouble talking to the girls. Interestingly, while some of you feel like you “have nothing to offer”, many of you know your good qualities but are just too shy to show them.
I guess the thing to do is to be more confident but I do realize this is something easier said than done. Maybe you could work on one small thing at a time. I think you should start by making a list of conversation topics to avoid the mind-going-blank situation (even if you can’t think of anything interesting, I’m sure there are websites that offer suggestions). Practice introducing yourself and talking about those topics infront of a mirror (they say practice makes perfect!). Then, you can try to be more sociable with the people you already know, like your friends, classmates, family or colleagues so you don’t get too nervous. I think setting smaller goals could help too. Instead of “I’m gonna make that girl fall head over heels for me”, try something along the line of “I’m gonna go over there and say hi and introduce myself”. Ask the girl about her interests for example. If she is in to painting you can ask what kind of painting she does, why she likes it blah blah blah… Voice your opinion too. Tell her something about yourself (this you have practiced!). If you succeed in asking her out, going to the movies is not a bad idea for a first date. That way, you’re on a date, but you won’t have to talk for at least 90 minutes, and if afterwards you don’t have anything to say, at least you can talk about the movie you just saw.
The things above are just my personal opinions. Hope they can help somewhat.
Loudog
Well-known member
I barely got my first kiss and first girlfriend last year when I was 27 . I thought she gonna fill this emptyness that's inside me, but I was just as misserible when I was with her. It's true, don't think by getting a girlfriend or boyfriend, it's gonna cure your loneliness or be the answer to all your problems.
. I thought she gonna fill this emptyness that's inside me, but I was just as misserible when I was with her. It's true, don't think by getting a girlfriend or boyfriend, it's gonna cure your loneliness or be the answer to all your problems.
Welcome to the real world. No where does it say dating, marriage, sex, etc is owed to us.
iamthenra
Well-known member
I'm right there with ya....and I'm 41 will be 42 in a few weeks.... Not fun at all being single. Although I have had 3 dates when I was 38 and trying very hard to get a date or two, but it was extreme. I found 2 ladies on eHarmony and flew from Minnesota down to Florida for one of them and the other I drove over 8 hours one way to meet her... The 3rd lady I met here locally in Minneapolis, and none of them were "the one".
Steve23
Well-known member
I'm 22 and haven't had a gf yet. I've been approached by a few classmates throughout college/university that have expressed interest, but I've been too anxious to capitalize and take anything any further. I do really want to start a relationship and it can be very painful at times to be alone, but my anxiety keeps holding me back.
I'm 19, turning 20 this December. I've never had a girlfriend, never had a kiss, and never had a hug. :
:However, I think about it like this. I'm going to focus on my courses, get my PhD, and when I'm 30 I'll be very successful in life. What kind of girl doesn't want a guy with money, a house, and a stable career?
Seriously, forget about girls right now. Focus on develping useful skills. Make yourself as useful as possible. That way you'll get great job offers.
If you're a man, 28+ with a steady job then you'll get girls for sure. Girls at that age are really desperate for a husband so you'll do fine. You might think that you'll get gold-diggers, but that how relationships work. Girls like men who can protect them and give them a great family. In the past (pre-historic times), it used to be strong muscles and good genes. However, now it's more about having a stable career and a good social status.
Right now, there's no way to distinguish ourselves for other guys. We're all similarly educated (if we're in the same school), have the same amount of wealth (ranging from 0 to part-time job), and same social status. The only obvious way to distinguis oneself is either through looks or personality. Looks is genetic and pre-determined so there's nothing we can do about that. Personality, well we're on the SP forum so that's out too. Therefore, why should a girl date us? What can we offer? 80% of the guys out there are nice and can have fun with her. Seriously, I read on forums saying girls only date jerks. That's not true. It's not hard at all to be nice. Everyone can say thank you and give her presents on her birthday. The only way you can develop an edge is to work hard and get a good career or another thing that you think will attract girls. I study a lot because that's what I'm good at.
Finally, never reject girls. I rejected the only girl who asked me out in Grade 9. She's actually very pretty and there was not reason for me to reject her. Therefore, I now have a policy of giving all girls a chance, although I haven't been lucky enough to enact that policy.
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Felgen
Well-known member
I'm 19, turning 20 this December. I've never had a girlfriend, never had a kiss, and never had a hug. :
Allthough I've had one night stands and I've kissed a lot of girls, I had never had a serious relationship before I was 21.
However, I think about it like this. I'm going to focus on my courses, get my PhD, and when I'm 30 I'll be very successful in life. What kind of girl doesn't want a guy with money, a house, and a stable career?
Sadly, girls also care about experience. You can't buy a girl's affection; you'll have to earn it.
Seriously, forget about girls right now. Focus on develping useful skills. Make yourself as useful as possible. That way you'll get great job offers.
Women grow less picky when they get older, but you really don't want your girlfriend to be someone who's desperate and willing to settle for anything.
Well said, but there are ways you can improve your looks. A lot of guys are uncut diamonds without knowing it themselves. This goes for girls as well; the prettiest girl I went to middle school with had no idea herself that she was beautiful.
I disagree with this one. If you're not attracted to a girl who's in love with you, do reject her. However, make sure you don't hurt her feelings--nobody likes an asshole.
Getting a Ph.D. is a smart thing to do for your own sake.
You'll be able to buy a nicer house and a nicer car because of it.Jesushasomeoneforme
Well-known member
Alright. I have found something that works a little. Go up to a hot girl and say hi how are you? That way at least your trying. Say something like boy it's been hot today. What do you think of the economy? Try try try. And most importantly believe and know you will meet someone and it will happen. What you say is what you get. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Get it in the power of the tongue. Jesus has someone for me. amen.
My apologies if the following sounds blunt, I don't mean it like that. I'm just a little tired and sickish. I don't have the energy to streamline it right now. ;3
People shouldn't get so caught up by what they've never had. Finding love is not a competition, neither is the first kiss, and most definitely loosing your virginity is not. When you're not able to get a girl/guy to like you, it doesn't necessarily has to be your fault. It could mean you're just not compatible with each other at the moment in time. And besides, social phobia makes things a whole lot more complicated and difficult. It could mean that you're simply not far enough into your recovery to even start a relationship. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but relationships are delicate things that require dedication on both sides. Giving and taking. Considering each others needs and desires. It's not auto-sustainable at all.
What I'm trying to say is, don't get caught behind the fact that you've never had a girl/guy. Not having (had) a girl/boyfriend doesn't make you any less of a person. Don't rush it if you're simply not ready. You shouldn't be with someone just because you want ''a'' girl/boyfriend, but because you like her/him and makes you feel comfortable. ;3
People shouldn't get so caught up by what they've never had. Finding love is not a competition, neither is the first kiss, and most definitely loosing your virginity is not. When you're not able to get a girl/guy to like you, it doesn't necessarily has to be your fault. It could mean you're just not compatible with each other at the moment in time. And besides, social phobia makes things a whole lot more complicated and difficult. It could mean that you're simply not far enough into your recovery to even start a relationship. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but relationships are delicate things that require dedication on both sides. Giving and taking. Considering each others needs and desires. It's not auto-sustainable at all.
What I'm trying to say is, don't get caught behind the fact that you've never had a girl/guy. Not having (had) a girl/boyfriend doesn't make you any less of a person. Don't rush it if you're simply not ready. You shouldn't be with someone just because you want ''a'' girl/boyfriend, but because you like her/him and makes you feel comfortable. ;3
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staticreflex
Well-known member
I also disagree with this. I could show you pictures, i'm not a "hot" looking guy but I look way better with a good haircut (from a real stylist not just a "shave it off" barber, shave, somewhat trendy clothes. Its like night and day for me at least so there are a few things that can be done with looks.
I'm not so sure about this either, Im one of the few people who doesn't think its bad to have "practice" relationships. If someone is into you, you can date them and learn how to be comfotable in a relationship even if you know your not going to marry them later on or that they are not the one.
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Lots to read, confused. Fascinating how one statement can generate so many replies.
Always taking the topics as questions, malformed or otherwise. I do not have an answer. It is possible someone already has, I could not read all posts.
I chose not to stress over this. If it happens it happens. There is always a choice.
Always taking the topics as questions, malformed or otherwise. I do not have an answer. It is possible someone already has, I could not read all posts.
I chose not to stress over this. If it happens it happens. There is always a choice.