Society's discrimination against shyness/quietness hurts more than SA itself

[Amitush123]

Ye just described me, by the way, Amitush. Sadly... :sad:

Its funny, how there are so many people that feel lonely, that we can form a new nation.

 

[Yarrow]

You will always be noticed here. There's a room for everyone.

Aw, thanks. :bigsmile:

 

[laure15]

I was recently on a job training for caregivers, the lecturer was telling us about equal rights, that everyone is equal, we shouldn´t discriminate against things like age, race, sex, religion, disability etc. Then shortly afterwards she points out how quiet I am. Despite that I was expecting it, and I know she meant it in "innocent" way, it hit me so hard that I was struggling to keep back my tears for a while. Because I knew what it will result in, they will fire me. I knew they would, they always had before. The scenario is always the same.

You could tell her after class that you were quiet because you have social anxiety and it's classified as a mental disorder. Maybe she wasn't aware that there are physical and mental disabilities.

 

[Lea]

You could tell her after class that you were quiet because you have social anxiety and it's classified as a mental disorder. Maybe she wasn't aware that there are physical and mental disabilities.

Thanks for your suggestion, but if I said that, that would mean direct dismissal I am afraid. I have bad experience with that, that´s why my rule now is to never admit I have some disability. Employers want perfect, normal and healthy people. If they get even a tiny hint there could be something wrong with you, it is the beginning of the end.

 

[Froggy246]

I know this is an old thread, but I was going to start something similar before I found it via the search.

I do feel discriminated against sometimes, for example you see in many job adverts these days things like, we are looking for someone with an outgoing and bubbly personality.

Haha this is hilarious. I've recently got a job after years of being too scared, and surprisingly, I'm actually good with customers. I would never in 234,928 years have thought it'd be the case as i wouldn't describe my public sp facade as "outgoing" or "bubbly" or whatever **** they wanna call it - I find alot of sales people absolutely annoying and fake as a customer. As a result, I don't take the "bubbly" approach, but more of a genuine soft-spoken friendliness, something I believe is almost an inherent feature of being introverted. None of this fake bull, and surprisingly, it actually works So these adverts had always put me off completely, but clearly they don't cater for our niche which can be even better than what they want

Yea that's true, it's like we are being pushed to the side almost but that is actually a bad move, they need us! There are qualities we bring to the table which should be equally valued. Another symptom of a world going to ****

 

[Kiwong]

There are many who I think would me more comfortable not having me around. It is my anxiety rather than shyness that causes that. It is like sensing difference and trying to push it away.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Yeah I don't like when people think I have a problem when I'm quiet. I think because they think we're plotting something terrible and it scares people?

 

[MotherWolff]

While I prefer not to have SA or any other mental illness, I would appreciate it very much if people didn't make it look like I'm a weirdo or not myself because I choose to be quite and more of a listener than a speaker.

My dad loves to bring up the past(my mom does to) and remind me that I was a very talkative little girl. And then they sarcastically say to me "What happened?" Pisses me off every time. Me being talkative does in no way, shape, or form make me a more superior human being. Period.

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

I honestly really dislike this line of tought.

It's just too easy and unproductive to just blame "society" or the "world" for our issues and be done with it. The simple truth is that life isn't fair, it isn't for someon with SA, it isn't for people born into abject poverty nor for children who die of cancer. But such is life, it may not be our fault to have SA but it certainly is our responsability to overcome it. The world doesn't care and it shouldn't.

You can be shy or an introvert and still be well liked and accepted. I know a girl in college that's very quiet, rarely talks about anything other than academics, and most of the time she just sits alone and watches anime or korean dramas (I can't stress how different this behavior is from the vast majority of young people around here). Yet she's still well liked and even admired quite simply because she's smart, nice, helpful and not awkward. Her introversion is just a personality trait not a mental disorder, compared to someone with SA and you can't blame people who don't know what it's like to have SA for reacting in such a way.

So yeah, you don't have to be a social butterfly to be accepted but you also can't expect that everyone just accepts you if you have 0 social skills and feel constantly and eternally awkward.

In any case, I just don't think it's the right mentality. We have no control whatsoever over others or society in general, we only have control over ourselves. So what's the point of thinking about some magical alternative reality where the whole world is shaped according to our unique needs?, that's not healthy nor productive.

 

[neardeath]

I joined a church where people support others with mental disabilities. I know a lot of folks aren't interested in church, but it gives me some hope and some open-minded people to hang out with when I am able.

It has actually helped my anxiety to purposely spend time in such a safe place. They are actually working toward change in society (not that it will do any good, but you've got to try!)

Otherwise, yeah, the world is pretty ignorant. Too bad for them, because we're a bunch of good people!