So a girl came to sit opposite me at lunch...

[tooshytosay]

OK so here I was at college having lunch by myself as usual.
The place I was eating kind of looked like this:

Single sofa (me)-- Small tea-table -- single sofa facing me

I had my laptop on the table and was nibbling at my sandwich whilst "studying" (what else can you do while eating lunch by yourself?)

Then suddenly this girl came and sat on the sofa facing me. And I mean sure, the place I was eating was quite crowded, but if she wanted, she could've easily sat at another table alone. But no, she came and sat opposite me. This had never happened before.

Guess what happened?

Sad as it might sound - I still don't even know how she looked like. Why? Because, all along, my eyes were downcast at my laptop, or at my sandwich, desperately trying to avoid looking at her. Ugh, all I know is that she wore blue jeans.

I hurriedly finished my sandwich. Then I packed up and got up. Somehow even during that time I avoided looking at her. Nope, not even a glance. That's right, the years of avoiding social contact has made me so good at controlling my gaze.

And I left. Just like that. I looked around, and indeed there were empty tables with empty seats (which she could've gone to).

You could probably imagine how I felt. I was punching myself - almost literally. I was amazed at my own social incompetence. How I probably came across as really mean, stuck-up, unfriendly, and rejecting.

When really inside - I was just feeling so SHY. Ugh.

 

[Kiwong]

You know what I would've done? Got up and walked to another seat, and resented the fact that someone invaded my personal space and spoiled my lunch.

 

[Social_Monstrosity]

I would have gotten up and seduced her, turned her over and began going at her right there on the table while still nibbling on my sandwich.

*wakes up*

Oh...uhh.

Yeah...

 

[DanFC]

This happens to me all of the time :-( Sometimes when a girl sits next to me in class or at events and whatnot. I never have the courage to look in fear that she'll see me looking and think that I'm a creep or interested in talking with her, and god forbid a girl actually thinks I'm interested in her even just for a conversation or something. I know how ridiculous this is when I'm looking down all those times, but even then, I can't muster up some courage to make any sort of connection.

 

[fitftw]

I smile when that happens but I never say a word, and eventually one of us will get up and leave.

 

[vj288]

That's the part I hate most about SA, the guilt I feel about how I may make people feel for not talking to them. It's really bad to try to "mind-read" though. In situations like that we have no idea what they're thinking. Maybe she knows your shy and she is as well so she sat there so no one would sit near her and try to talk, you never know. It might be her favorite seat in the room, or maybe she just didn't want people to see her eating alone. And even if she did want to talk to you, maybe she just figured you were busy or having a bad day or that you were shy.

 

[worrywort]

...

awww mate! My heart just sank reading that! it was so cute yet heartbreaking at the same time......probably cause I know very well how you feel! Don't beat yourself up too much though, just use it as motivation to do better next time.

That's the part I hate most about SA, the guilt I feel about how I may make people feel for not talking to them

oh definitely, well said! I feel the exact same!

 

[Solo Dolo]

You know what I would've done? Got up and walked to another seat, and resented the fact that someone invaded my personal space and spoiled my lunch.

is that how you justify your SA? pretend like its not your SA thats the problem and instantly go to blaming everyone else? that road will lead you absolutely nowhere....except maybe backwards

 

[slowmotiondaydream]

i wish a girl sat opposite to me, for the next 5minutes id have that incredible hope that she'd start to talk to me until the hope diminishes when she leaves. i think she made more of an effort to sit opposite to you than you to start a conversation with. nxt time

 

[*eMmCaM*]

OK so here I was at college having lunch by myself as usual.
The place I was eating kind of looked like this:

Single sofa (me)-- Small tea-table -- single sofa facing me

I had my laptop on the table and was nibbling at my sandwich whilst "studying" (what else can you do while eating lunch by yourself?)

Then suddenly this girl came and sat on the sofa facing me. And I mean sure, the place I was eating was quite crowded, but if she wanted, she could've easily sat at another table alone. But no, she came and sat opposite me. This had never happened before.

Guess what happened?

Sad as it might sound - I still don't even know how she looked like. Why? Because, all along, my eyes were downcast at my laptop, or at my sandwich, desperately trying to avoid looking at her. Ugh, all I know is that she wore blue jeans.

I hurriedly finished my sandwich. Then I packed up and got up. Somehow even during that time I avoided looking at her. Nope, not even a glance. That's right, the years of avoiding social contact has made me so good at controlling my gaze.

And I left. Just like that. I looked around, and indeed there were empty tables with empty seats (which she could've gone to).

You could probably imagine how I felt. I was punching myself - almost literally. I was amazed at my own social incompetence. How I probably came across as really mean, stuck-up, unfriendly, and rejecting.

When really inside - I was just feeling so SHY. Ugh.

well yur still braver than i am because__my sp is so bad im actually 2 shy go 2 college!!ugh!!! then again have lunch BYMYSELF!!!! i think i wuda been more relieved _a girl sat by me so i wudN feel as lonely lol

 

[Scira]

I would have thought that she felt sorry for me and sat by me out of pity. I don't know what I would have done though because i've never had that happen to me.

 

[vj288]

Owww, ^^ that was harsh.::

Think it would be tough seeing he's so shy he couldn't even look at her (and he's not the only guy here who is.)

 

[Solo Dolo]

I wasn't trying to be harsh...I was just telling the truth. I am sorry you took it the wrong way.:: I said ONLY if he is brave enough. It really feels horrible when somebody does that. Gotta take the other persons feelings into consideration as well, not just your own. Although, I do understand his feelings.

i agree with this

 

[vj288]

I wasn't trying to be harsh...I was just telling the truth. I am sorry you took it the wrong way.:: I said ONLY if he is brave enough. It really feels horrible when somebody does that. Gotta take the other persons feelings into consideration as well, not just your own. Although, I do understand his feelings.

I know it must not feel good to take a chance like that and get rejected, but my life would be infinitely worse if I thought every time I did that to someone, which is very often, that not only should I feel like crap for being such a coward but also for making her feel like crap.

That's the part I hate most about SA, the guilt I feel about how I may make people feel for not talking to them.

You do raise a valid point, and we know it, ^^^ and it's the last thing in the world we want.

 

[EasySkanking]

Weeeeelcommmee to maaaaaiii woooorldddd.....

There's a song that goes like that right? There should be....

 

[ilmatross]

You know what I would've done? Got up and walked to another seat, and resented the fact that someone invaded my personal space and spoiled my lunch.

hahaha

how deliciously morbid

at least you embrace it. sometimes i wonder if its worth fighting against it anymore.

 

[Kiwong]

is that how you justify your SA? pretend like its not your SA thats the problem and instantly go to blaming everyone else? that road will lead you absolutely nowhere....except maybe backwards

It has nothing to do with my SA, champion. I like to eat my lunch in privacy.
So please don't come sit me near when I am eating, I don't want YOU or anyone else near me. Thanks for your attention.

 

[coyote]

It has nothing to do with my SA, champion. I like to eat my lunch in privacy.
So please don't come sit me near when I am eating, I don't want YOU or anyone else near me. Thanks for your attention.

What if I offered to share something yummy?

 

[Kiwong]

hahaha

how deliciously morbid

at least you embrace it. sometimes i wonder if its worth fighting against it anymore.

I am simply hungry at lunch, I want to eat. When life is no longer ruled by adolescent hormones, simple pleasures like eating lunch can truly be savoured.

 

[Anomaly]

ya you probably made her feel like $hit...when you see her again you need to apologize to her and tell her what your were feeling. If your brave enough.

Sad as it might sound - I still don't even know how she looked like.

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