since your first post in here, how much did you change?

[da_illest101]

Obviously I don't think that new members has much or anything to say about that, but for the others, how much did you change, not just in SA but in life in general.

My SA got better since I became a lot more indifferent to life, but the problem is that I became indifferent too way too much things and it's getting worse. I rarely feel joy, just a few laugh. I keep wondering what is the point of life if I never feel like doing anythinf. Everything feels forced

 

[Agent_Violet]

awesome topic

I've changed A LOT! I registered in august of 2011. Since then I have done a 180 on my outlook. Instead of always looking for the big positives,I began viewing the small stuff as most important for positivity. I got divorced,got my own apartment, adopted a dog,became more mature and better able to handle my job, and stopped rushing around so much to please everyone else.

I'm not totally where i want to be emotionally and I still struggle daily with borderline personality disorder and the fact that my SA comes from being borderline...my intense fear of hurting and manipulating others has made me withdrawn and social anxious.

But it gets better. little by little.

I still blush over everything and have trouble accepting myself. But I'm just going to keep going and keep trying. I'll get there

 

[Ashiene]

I am very sad to say in 6 and a half years here, I have not only NOT improved, but degenerated so much that I have almost given up all hope. Despite all the small moments of happiness and years of therapy, overall I am falling deeper into a hole which I may never get out of.

 

[Srijita52]

I've changed only a bit, not much to notice though.

 

[Srijita52]

awesome topic

I've changed A LOT! I registered in august of 2011. Since then I have done a 180 on my outlook. Instead of always looking for the big positives,I began viewing the small stuff as most important for positivity. I got divorced,got my own apartment, adopted a dog,became more mature and better able to handle my job, and stopped rushing around so much to please everyone else.

I'm not totally where i want to be emotionally and I still struggle daily with borderline personality disorder and the fact that my SA comes from being borderline...my intense fear of hurting and manipulating others has made me withdrawn and social anxious.

But it gets better. little by little.

I still blush over everything and have trouble accepting myself. But I'm just going to keep going and keep trying. I'll get there

That's great Agent V. I'm sure you'll get what you want, good luck!

 

[Srijita52]

I am very sad to say in 6 and a half years here, I have not only NOT improved, but degenerated so much that I have almost given up all hope. Despite all the small moments of happiness and years of therapy, overall I am falling deeper into a hole which I may never get out of.

I'm sorry...

 

[coyote]

i've put on a couple of pounds

 

[Hellhound]

I've become a lot less tolerant to BS and my depression got worse for a while, until I tried medication.

 

[MrSunday]

I'm still the same.

 

[MrJones]

I've changed a lot, but I'm still trying to see who I am now. Maybe better, maybe worse.

 

[A86]

I like to think I have become more wiser. Who knows, maybe one day I could be as wise as Coyote

Living and working smarter, not harder.

 

[MikeyC]

awesome topic

I've changed A LOT! I registered in august of 2011. Since then I have done a 180 on my outlook. Instead of always looking for the big positives,I began viewing the small stuff as most important for positivity. I got divorced,got my own apartment, adopted a dog,became more mature and better able to handle my job, and stopped rushing around so much to please everyone else.

I'm not totally where i want to be emotionally and I still struggle daily with borderline personality disorder and the fact that my SA comes from being borderline...my intense fear of hurting and manipulating others has made me withdrawn and social anxious.

But it gets better. little by little.

I still blush over everything and have trouble accepting myself. But I'm just going to keep going and keep trying. I'll get there

Fantastic, Violet. I'm very happy for you that you've managed to find some peace.

i've put on a couple of pounds

As have I. :/

I registered in September, 2011. I haven't really changed too much, to be honest. I have started seeing a therapist since November, so there's much more to go there before seeing any real change. I need more time.

EDIT: I will mention that I've met a LOT of really nice people here. Hopefully some lifelong friends.

 

[9407]

Since I registered in December 2010, my depression and anxiety have gotten better. When I registered I was 17 and I had no job, no friends, and I wasn't even going to school. I also spent most of the day alone either on the computer or lying in bed. (I got hospitalized for depression and decided to leave my school because of it). Most of that is slowly changing since I now graduated high school and am getting a summer job.

 

[KiaKaha]

I cant remember how long I have been around...probably around 3 years on and off. How much have I changed? That is a moot point. I don't need too. I am perfect. It's everything else that needs to change around me.

*puts on robe and smokes cigar*

 

[MikeyC]

I cant remember how long I have been around...probably around 3 years on and off. How much have I changed? That is a moot point. I don't need too. I am perfect. It's everything else that needs to change around me.

*puts on robe and smokes cigar*

I can see you now: "I'm out of hundred dollar bills to light my cigar with. It's everyone else's fault."

 

[Phoenixx]

Since joining, I can say I've improved in some ways and yet I'm worse off in others.

The Positive:
- I feel I've matured a lot more. (I'm still a kid at heart though!)
- I understand A LOT more of what I'm dealing with now. I'm not as confused about my emotions as much as I used to be.
- Now that I'm not in high school, I'm happier with who I talk to and keep in touch with. (since I don't have people teasing me left and right and got rid of some toxic "friends")
- I'm trying to put myself out there a bit more than I used to, even though it's still incredibly difficult.
- I've made some incredibly awesome friends here. I know I mentioned this a couple times before, but when I first joined I really did not think I would make any friends whatsoever. I didn't think anyone would want to talk to me and keep in touch, and that goes for myself too. I just figured I found a site that has people who relate to what I go through, might try to help me, and that was that. You all have proved me wrong. :: I love every single one of you.

The Negative:
- My SA isn't worse, but it definitely is not any better.
- My self-esteem/self-consciousness is still very low, possibly slightly worse than before.
- My "low points" with my depression seem to have gotten a bit worse.
- I'm still unable to tell my family/friends what I deal with.
- I'm still unable to start threads around here. :: No spotlight for me.

 

[Shenmue]

I've been a member of SPW for a year now. My post count would be higher, but when i'm feeling down, I tend to go on a deleting spree.
Now that i've established my credentials, I feel qualified to answer this question. *clears throat and puts on a bow tie* When I first came on here, I was anxious most of the time. My hands would tremble whenever I was nervous. But I feel this site has given me a better understanding of myself. It doesn't mean i am anxiety free, but I do feel less anxious than I was a year ago.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I have not seen any improvement in myself personally; but my therapist has said I've made improvements.
I suppose it's just the self-deprecation that makes me think any tiny improvement I might make is not worth counting at all.

 

[Plz]

I've been put on lorazepam, risperidal, and citalopram, but I've only gotten worse. Where I used to be able to force my way through presentations and group assignments, I now have panic attacks instead.