short guys?!!

[aidan]

i am 5 foot 6 tall and im 27 so im definitely not going to ever grow any taller. height has ALWAYS been a major self conscious thing for me.. most people are a few inches taller than me, i am slagged and jeered sometime in work about it. i have always been self conscious about it and also its one of the main reasons i have never had a girlfriend too. part why i dont go out and part why i have had depression in my life a few times. see guys that are tall are kinda looked upon as figures of authority or power or more as a leader etc. its most likely a tall man will become a manager than a short man. you know. also im assuming girls prefer tall men to make them feel protected or something. i don't know. so whats the point in me living... im a walking disease... i really feel like joining the 27 club to be honest. its my physical body i hate most. i feel like taking my life. though im not going to, im just saying i feel like it. im not looking for attention, im not looking for sympathy because i don't want any, DON'T give me any. i just wrote this to vent my frustration, im unhappy. i just wanted to know if i am on my own. any other guys around same height same problems, with height making you lack confidence big time

 

[GoBlue72]

Hey Aidan,

I can definitely understand where you're coming from. I'm about a shade under 5'10", but you'd be amazed how many women on the online dating sites list minimum of 5'10" to 6' tall in what they want. I'd have to think it's a majority on the sites i've used. Add to that, the fact that guys ourselves give other guys a hard time if they're shorter. It's assumed often that you aren't as athletic, could never play most high level competitive sports like basketball and American football, etc. However, there are exceptions to the rule. Which is where I think attitude and mentality come into play. There are short guys who try and overcompensate for their height by working out and building tons of muscle, guys that try to act all macho. Then there are guys who are comfortable with it, can make light of it, and even date very tall women rather than those shorter than they are. I think it's all based on the individual to work with what he's got.

 

[aidan]

Hey Aidan,

I can definitely understand where you're coming from. I'm about a shade under 5'10", but you'd be amazed how many women on the online dating sites list minimum of 5'10" to 6' tall in what they want. I'd have to think it's a majority on the sites i've used. Add to that, the fact that guys ourselves give other guys a hard time if they're shorter. It's assumed often that you aren't as athletic, could never play most high level competitive sports like basketball and American football, etc. However, there are exceptions to the rule. Which is where I think attitude and mentality come into play. There are short guys who try and overcompensate for their height by working out and building tons of muscle, guys that try to act all macho. Then there are guys who are comfortable with it, can make light of it, and even date very tall women rather than those shorter than they are. I think it's all based on the individual to work with what he's got.

see that's exactly my point, your 5'10 id give away every single procession id give away the clothes on my back to be that height, because that's a VERY normal height to be for guys. no girl would ever look at me and im the kinda guy that cant make light of it. i couldn't never date a woman taller than me... even if i tried id probably end it due to problems on my side due to the uncomfortableness. i get slagged by other guys i work with a lot as im seen as... well because im shorter its ok for to laugh at me... im the odd guy... im the quiet man who doesn't fight back. im the one that's easy to walk over. it also makes them feel good and its the macho thing, they got more power. belittle me to make them feel good. i just could never accept it and never will. im afraid.

 

[Waybuloo]

i am 5 foot 6 tall and im 27 so im definitely not going to ever grow any taller. height has ALWAYS been a major self conscious thing for me.. most people are a few inches taller than me, i am slagged and jeered sometime in work about it. i have always been self conscious about it and also its one of the main reasons i have never had a girlfriend too. part why i dont go out and part why i have had depression in my life a few times. see guys that are tall are kinda looked upon as figures of authority or power or more as a leader etc. its most likely a tall man will become a manager than a short man. you know. also im assuming girls prefer tall men to make them feel protected or something. i don't know. so whats the point in me living... im a walking disease... i really feel like joining the 27 club to be honest. its my physical body i hate most. i feel like taking my life. though im not going to, im just saying i feel like it. im not looking for attention, im not looking for sympathy because i don't want any, DON'T give me any. i just wrote this to vent my frustration, im unhappy. i just wanted to know if i am on my own. any other guys around same height same problems, with height making you lack confidence big time

it's unfortunate but society likes to ridicule short guys, fat people etc, because they get told that they are not ideal. I don't like tall guys for one, they scare me and it seems they tower over me and it makes facing them almost impossible, not to mention it seems like they are looking down on me. I'm 5 foot 5ish and I personally don't like guys several inches taller for the above reasons.

I know short guys, nothing wrong with them, except ones with short guy syndrom, which really is in the head.

So do you want to become a manager? It's possible you know, if you have the skills, qualifications and personality suited to the position. You're really telling me that if you fit the specs, they won't hire you cause you're short?

Also I actually see alot of short guys with girlfriends and wives, so that proves your point wrong.

Also it is true, it's all in the attitude. You'll have to find your own way of accepting that as a part of yourself. I had my features made fun of growing up, but I no longer care much as overcoming my anixety is my no. 1 priority. Make jokes when people make fun of you, you can exaggerate and go along with the jokes. I think the main reason people do that is that they know it affects you, and gives em ego boosts. Once it backfires and it doesn't shake you, what hte hell is the point? If all fails i'm sure there are qualities about other people that aren't ideal, after all, no one's perfect. If you fire back an insult everytime they insult you, they'll soon learn to stop. I once made fun of someone at school, they shouted something about me at the top of their voice and stared right at me, I was humiliated and never ever did that again.

 

[aidan]

im glad to hear there is at least one woman in the world that doesn't like a guy to be towering over her.
i don't want to be a manager or im not in the position to be as one or anything like that, i was just using that as an example as i know taller guys generally are deemed as more normal and seen as some sort of father figure, if you can understand what im trying to say!!!
im sorry to hear you had your features made fun of growing up... its hurts to be ridiculed about something to do with your body. especially when you cant do anything about it and its not your choice. i don't know if i can ever accept my height, its been an issue for me ever since maybe i was 20 or so i started to realize i wasn't growing anymore and started to worry. due to being laughed at in work sometimes i have really just ended up hiding and retreating into a shell and keeping to myself, i dont talk to anyone anymore and i dont mix with my co workers, i dont make small talk. i just keep quiet and do my work and hope im not joked about. i try to shake it off and laugh along but its hard when its constant and nobody else, the jokes ALWAYS on me.

 

[GoBlue72]

I know Hollywood is filled with shorter guys: Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Danny Devito, Michael J. Fox, Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, Ben Stiller...the list goes on. A lot of those guys are really successful in their careers and with women. They probably did have a tougher time due to being shorter than most, but something to do with their confidence brought them to where they are. Look at Verne Troyer(Mini Me). That guy is always hanging with Playboy Playmates and stuff. Not saying everyone is like this, just that the height is simply one of many barriers people can let bother them in life.

 

[Remus]

I'm short and it's never caused me much bother

 

[Phoenixx]

Guys aren't the only ones that are ridiculed for being short either. I'm a female, 17, and only 5 foot. I get teased for my height at least a few times a week, and while it doesn't always bother me, sometimes I can't help but envy those who are much taller. My height doesn't totally hurt my confidence, but I can't say it helps it much either.

 

[Waybuloo]

im glad to hear there is at least one woman in the world that doesn't like a guy to be towering over her.
i don't want to be a manager or im not in the position to be as one or anything like that, i was just using that as an example as i know taller guys generally are deemed as more normal and seen as some sort of father figure, if you can understand what im trying to say!!!
im sorry to hear you had your features made fun of growing up... its hurts to be ridiculed about something to do with your body. especially when you cant do anything about it and its not your choice. i don't know if i can ever accept my height, its been an issue for me ever since maybe i was 20 or so i started to realize i wasn't growing anymore and started to worry. due to being laughed at in work sometimes i have really just ended up hiding and retreating into a shell and keeping to myself, i dont talk to anyone anymore and i dont mix with my co workers, i dont make small talk. i just keep quiet and do my work and hope im not joked about. i try to shake it off and laugh along but its hard when its constant and nobody else, the jokes ALWAYS on me.

Well I know how hard it is to really hate the part of you that you can't change. At times it engulfed me, my life, to the point of me having none. I considered this preoccupation with my appearance the bane of my existence, even over anxiety and depression. But really it is up to your mind. You cannot change your height, you know that. What you can change is what you feed your mind. It's hard to automatically change your confidence level and what you dislike about yourself, but I bet you are already beating yourself up daily with bad thoughts. THink about it this way, you are your own best friend. Other people are picking on you and destroying your self esteem, would your best friend want to add to that pain, or to console you?

Out of curiosity, what kind of environment and line of work are you in? That could explain in part the preoccupation with your height, as in some circles people can be more blunt and rude about superficial things.

To really put it into perspective if you will, I recenlty watched an ongoing documentary called Beauty and the Beast: Ugly Face of Prejudice. The show confronted a different pair of a good looking person who is obsessed iwth looking good, and another with a severe facial disfigurement who has battled prejudice and the need to look perfect. The person with disfigurement, it seems to me, had come to terms with the fact that they have to live with the way they are, and be happy with themselves in all aspects. One guy looked like the elephant man (he was short as well), yet he was charming and witty and was unphased by the fact that sometimes people told him he is not beautiful. Another woman had a concave face and she sang with a beautiful voice in pubs. After seeing that I realised how insignificant my worries were. I have no disability or disfigurement and most importantly looks are not the whole package, no matter what some brainwashed people might want you to believe.

I know Hollywood is filled with shorter guys: Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Danny Devito, Michael J. Fox, Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, Ben Stiller...the list goes on. A lot of those guys are really successful in their careers and with women. They probably did have a tougher time due to being shorter than most, but something to do with their confidence brought them to where they are. Look at Verne Troyer(Mini Me). That guy is always hanging with Playboy Playmates and stuff. Not saying everyone is like this, just that the height is simply one of many barriers people can let bother them in life.

I just remembered that French president Nicolas Sarkozy is a short man, actually he's much shorter than his wife. He is a bit insecure about it I think, but that doesn't stop him being elected and serving in his current role.

 

[coyote]

I'm 5'8" - when I was younger I wished I was taller

I held many of the same beliefs - that being taller would make me more successful or more attractive, etc.

But, as time went on, I have grown to accept it.

I successfully served in several positions of authority. I rose to the top of one career field, and I've held a number of other management jobs, including the one I have now. And I have had several relationships with women - so obviously my height hasn't been a problem there.

I've known plenty of guys shorter than me who are total badasses - they didn't play professional sports - they were only Marines, Navy SEALS, cops, firemen, stuff like that.

It's only a drawback if you let other people tell you it is.

 

[Cynic]

guys that are tall are kinda looked upon as figures of authority or power or more as a leader etc. its most likely a tall man will become a manager than a short man. you know. also im assuming girls prefer tall men to make them feel protected or something.

Yeah, as a rule that is the case. In saying that, I've known tall guys who were streaks of piss.

the 27 club

What is the 27 club???

you'd be amazed how many women on the online dating sites list minimum of 5'10" to 6' tall in what they want.

I am amazed actually - I thought most of them looked for 6ft+ males.

There are short guys who try and overcompensate for their height by working out and building tons of muscle, guys that try to act all macho.

I've known a few short guys who are very tough and have muscular bodies. Two of the coaches at a boxing gym I used to go to were like that and somehow I don't think they would have too much trouble attracting girls.

I know Hollywood is filled with shorter guys

Celebs live different lives to the rest of us, and by different rules from the rest of us.


@the OP: are you stocky, fat, skinny or what? Because I gather that build can affect things significantly too.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

There are a lot of really short girls out there who like shorter guys. I am 5'1'' and 5'7'' is a really good height for me. Honestly, it's a tiny bit taller than I (really) like. When you are a really short girl and you date a really tall guy, it gets really awkward. Kissing and holding hands... it just doesn't work that well.

I have seen a few really short guys (5'5'' max) with tall, gorgeous girls.

There are a lot of girls out there who are superficial and dismiss a guy because of his height. You don't want those girls. You want a girl who will love you for you and not judge you based on some silly physical trait.

What you need is confidence. People come in all shapes and sizes and all those shapes and sizes are loved by someone. If you learn to just love yourself, it will show, and girls will start to notice you more and become a lot more interested in you.

No on really wants to be around a guy who is constantly upset that he is short and praying that he could be taller.

Us short girls need shorter guys.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

I'm 5'8" - when I was younger I wished I was taller


But, as time went on, I have grown to accept it.

.

Grown.... to accept it? ::

 

[Danfalc]

I understand how you feel, I am 25 and five foot 4 lol. Sometimes I do feel really self concious about my height, I worry people do not take me seriously or treat me like a kid. Taller guys do seem to get more respect sometimes because of their physical presence.

But I have kind of learned to accept and even like the fact I am a short arse lol. I think part of our anxiety is that we do judge ourselves a lot harsher than other people actually do.I do think some women like the idea of a tall guys, but I honestly believe if someone likes you, your height would not be enough to put them off. I have dated tall women too, one was nearly six foot lol... I'm quite sure it did look rather comical to some people but it was never an issue between us.

Have you thought about the gym, personaly I think your fine just the way you are, but maybe if you did some weights that might boost your confidence a little? We might not be able to grow taller but we can fill out

 

[coyote]

Us short girls need shorter guys.

I've always been attracted to petite women, personally.

 

[Moo]

My boyfriend (of 1 year tomorrow : is 21 and only 5'3" so i'm 6 inches taller than him. It's all about accepting yourself. He hates being short but he doesn't let it get him down too much. He's more of a man than some men I know who are 6 foot plus.

To be honest I don't think 5'6" is short anyway (then again I'm not particularly tall for a woman at 5'9" but I'm still very insecure about my height!!). It's one of those things you need to learn to live with unfortunately.

 

[Jannah]

Just date a girl that's a bit shorter than you, that's all.

 

[awkwardamanda]

There's nothing wrong with women finding taller men attractive. However, it is wrong that many will completely rule out dating the shorter guys based on their height alone. It's superficial and women like that probably have a lot of other issues and standards no one will live up to.

I'm 5'4" so the majority of guys are taller than me anyway. I wouldn't refuse to date someone shorter than me, but the reality is that not too many guys fall into that range. I'd probably feel a little awkward dating someone significantly taller than me, but I wouldn't turn down a really tall guy over that. It might be uncomfortable kissing and holding hands at a certain point, but it would just take some getting used to. As long as he's not the type of guy to use his height to intimidate others or anything.

 

[JamesSmith]

This seems like a 'grass is greener on the other side,' aidan. I'm 5'11'' and not once has my height helped me except for in a basketball game, lol. People make fun of me all the time. People notice my shyness most often, which is the case for many people in here. No matter what my height was, my life would have been about the same as it has been. I practically have nothing now except air to breathe, and it wouldn't have been much different if I was 5'4''. I guess maybe i could have been a better basketball player if I was 7 foot though, lol.

 

[jus]

im at a towering............. 5'6
few inches taller would be alrite, but never realy been that much of a problem cause its not like majority of people in the world are 6 foot.


on the other hand.. old friend of mine was like 6'9, he used to hate being that tall.