Scared you won't find anyone else?

[HeadFace]

I saw a thread similiar to this a while ago, but I can't find it so bare with me.

But who else is scared that if they get dumped, or they break up with a partner, that they'd be so lonely and shy that it'd be almost impossible to find another mate? Or maybe even a person who's in this situation?
I relied on my friends, most of the time. As in, I'd expect to meet someone new out of them. That's how I met my last ex. My other, I met online. And another I met randomly - at the park. She was very outgoing, so she wasn't afraid to walk up to random people and strike a conversation.
But now I'm single again. And I haven't got the faintest idea of when or how I can meet my real mate. Then again, I'm pretty young, so I shouldn't be thinking about it huh?

 

[re7nee]

You relationships didn't last long doesn't mean u could get the right person after all, so just wait, she'll be there.

 

[KiaKaha]

Its an understandable concern. You are pretty young and you dont really know where things will take you, and who you will meet. If a girl appraoached you in the park randmly then whats to say that it wont happen again? You just never know who you are going to meet and how.

 

[punklove]

Personally I think the more you want something the less chance you have of getting it. Instead of looking just focus on other things and maybe she'll come to you when you least expect it it worked for me.

 

[Felgen]

I saw a thread similiar to this a while ago, but I can't find it so bare with me.

But who else is scared that if they get dumped, or they break up with a partner, that they'd be so lonely and shy that it'd be almost impossible to find another mate? Or maybe even a person who's in this situation?
I relied on my friends, most of the time. As in, I'd expect to meet someone new out of them. That's how I met my last ex. My other, I met online. And another I met randomly - at the park. She was very outgoing, so she wasn't afraid to walk up to random people and strike a conversation.
But now I'm single again. And I haven't got the faintest idea of when or how I can meet my real mate. Then again, I'm pretty young, so I shouldn't be thinking about it huh?

You're still young. The fact that someone has loved you, means that someone can (and probably will) love you again.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

If I were single, I'd have no problem getting dates. Unfortunately, this may not be so simple for men who are shy, socially anxious or for those (men or women) who rarely get the opportunity to meet new people. I think that it might be easier for women to get dates and be approached by potential mates...to an extent. I can greatly reduce the chances of getting asked out if I talk less or am less social. This is good to know for when I want to be left alone. On the other hand, there are men who are more likely to approach me when I keep to myself. Some think it's "lady-like" for a woman to keep her mouth shut.

My challenge would be establishing a romantic relationship and keeping it (it does take two people so the success of a relationship would not solely depend on me) since I have trust and insecurity issues. On my pessimistic days, I think that I wouldn't find someone else, but otherwise I honestly think I could. I know that I could keep a lover but trusting someone enough to establish true intimacy might take some time. It's something I'd be willing to work on. My insecurities and fears would at least keep me from having a string of failed relationships. In any case, I think that it's a better idea to take things slowly instead of jumping into something right away. I suppose this way of thinking isn't solely motivated by SA, insecurity or trust issues. It could apply to anyone. Yet, it may be difficult to remain objective/rational if a person were in love.


I'm not the type to jump from one relationship to another in a matter of days, weeks, or months. It might even take a year or longer (not forever) to get my **** straight. Also, I'd rather get to know someone well before beginning a relationship and not the other way around. This might be best because in general, people should not focus all of one's resources on one hope, possibility, or avenue of success. You have to know that you have options and take the time to explore them. This is kind of hard to do when you only want one person, though. Not to mention that it must be time consuming and expensive if you're the one paying for the dates. I don't have the desire to date like the women from "Sex & the City". Answering the same damn questions over and over and over again. It would get repetitive and dreadfully boring. I'd only go on a date if I really clicked with someone and had a physical attraction to them.

 

[Kiwong]

I'm scared that after all these years women are actually showing an interest. I'm not interested, or looking.

 

[Luke1993]

I get very scared that I'll never find someone, I understand that I'm still fairly young but most people my age have had a relationship in some form or another.

Meeting someone randomly at the park and actually starting a relationship with them, that's amazing luck!

 

[EscapeArtist]

I think you're fairing pretty darn well off, 2 relationships at 16 years old. I think Felgen said it well, I don't think you have much to worry about

 

[dutchguy]

Sure I get scared. If it wasn't for the existance of internet dating I would have probably given up finding someone a long time ago.

Nevertheless, never let yourself think that you're not good enough to get a girlfriend - I'm only now slowly discovering that there are women out there that actually like the shy but sweet guy type.

 

[black-wings]

I know EXACTLY what you mean man. But I noticed when I was looking for a girl and trying to be cool, I wasnt finding anyone. But when I quit looking and just stayed myself, girls were coming up to me for the most part. Plus there are PLENTY of mates out there for you. Just give it time.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Well I kind of thought like that the one time I did have a boyfriend. The relationship went on far too long because neither one of us knew how to let go. I wasn't happy but I thought I'd be alone forever if it ended. It was a relief when it was finally over. I've been single three years now but at least I've had some time to think about what I want and don't want in a guy. If I'm lucky I might find someone else but I certainly don't want to settle if I'm not happy. I'll take being lonely. I've accepted there's a fair possibility that I will spend my life alone. I don't want to lie to myself, believing there's someone out there for everyone. I think that's a load of crap. I'd rather be surprised if I do find someone than let down if I expect to and don't. Sucks but oh well.

 

[Blaze]

Yeah, I'm scared I will never get into another relationship again. I don't let anyone into my life in order for a relationship to start. I haven't had a girlfriend(or a guy for that matter, yes I am bi) since 8th grade, which was 7/8 years ago. I haven't even let anyone new into my life since Junior year of high school. It's starting to feel like I am doomed into this stagnant existence even though I desperately want out.

I want to change, I want someone to care. I just feel so helpless sometimes. When I think of all the opportunity I used to have, and all the things that have just past me by I just retreat deeper into that black hole. I believe my only chance with another human is if they take the initiative. They have to make the first move, I've never been capable of doing that. I just miss the way I used to be, and it's saddening knowing that part of me is gone forever. Any life I want to have for myself is going to have to be created anew. I only wish I can dig up the motivation to jump start myself on a new path instead of wasting away.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I'm not currently in a relationship, but recently I've been crushing on this very attractive and shy guy named Nathaniel who sits in front of me in my Creative Writing class. We've had a couple of memorable moments lately ever since I finally got the femmeballs to talk to him and we've become pretty good friends. Sadly, I just found out today that he has a girlfriend. On a worse note, it's a girl I'm not very fond of...

*Sigh* Better luck next time I hope :/

 

[BourgeoisBlues]

I'm terrified that I won't find anyone else. Part of that is because I'm terrified that I won't get over my bad habits and social anxiety when it comes to women. When a girl does approach me or make a lot of eye contact with me I have the habit of acting like I'm completely oblivious and ignore them and continue to ignore them until they lose interest or hate me... or both.

 

[mads]

I'm not currently in a relationship, but recently I've been crushing on this very attractive and shy guy named Nathaniel who sits in front of me in my Creative Writing class. We've had a couple of memorable moments lately ever since I finally got the femmeballs to talk to him and we've become pretty good friends. Sadly, I just found out today that he has a girlfriend. On a worse note, it's a girl I'm not very fond of...

*Sigh* Better luck next time I hope :/

Sorry to hear that::

 

[SingleAloneForever]

I'm scared that I'm never going to find anybody at all. I've said it before, I've never been in a relationship of any type, shape or form. I think women are a little bit weirded out and frightened by people like me.

I'm now 28 and I'm at that point in my life, where I look back, and think what's the point of even trying. Why do I even try and even possibly imagine that I would ever be able to find anybody. It hasn't happened at all once during my life, why would it happen at this point? I honestly believe that I am far too hideous to ever have anybody. I mean, it has to be true, right? Why else would women loathe me so much?

Friends have even tried telling me that I will end up finding somebody, that people wouldn't care that I've never actually ever hard a partner, but that's a load of baloney. I know first hand that it freaks many women out. They think that there's something definitely wrong with a 28 year old guy who's never even been on a single date in his lifetime.

I'm still trying the on line dating thing, but it's getting bleaker by the second. I've tried online dating sites over the past 6 years, haven't even gotten a look in.

So yeah, I'm definitely terrified that I won't find anybody, and that I will die a lonely, bitter, twisted, old man.