hi there. the thread could also be named: "bitter about being stupid" hehe
I just wanted to post that it hurts me to see how everyone is able to make complicated sentences wile talking, having clear thoughts, being able to remember things and have clear believes. I have nothing of all that.
I just started university and I realized how everyone is so much more intelligent than me, it hurts so much and makes me depressed to think that I'm in the wrong place were I don't belong to, because I'm not at the same level.
Even after watching movies I forget what I saw, even the things i like an am interested in i forget the important facts/dates.
I also have a problem expressing myself the way I want to, what probably also is a factor of SA.
Does anyone here has the same problems?
Hello Gaucho!
Let me say this, you think way too negative about your own abilities.
You don't see that you are already in University and that you are applied for it, so you actually are good enough to be there.
You compare yourself way too much with the other people, they have more interesting to say, they have more abilities, they have more intelligence, they are not as stupid as I am, hey, they might have something interesting to say, but I bet you have too, but you are afraid to raise that voice!
You want so much more, as I can read in your post. that it's bothering you. But In fact I think you got more abilities, so please, write down the abilities you do have. Think of the intelligent things you do know in life. For e.g you know about SA, most people never heard of this damn beast. And hey, I bet you are better at Math than I am! I'm kind of Dyscalcullia!
So I am crap at Math! And you know what, I accepted it more, I mean, I am still wanting to get better at it and try to follow training, but I accept that it takes time. With other stuff it's harder to accept, but with this it's easier for me, maybe u should try to accept it too that you can't be good at everything!
You do belong in Uni, you don't deserve to think like that. You seem a nice person and you should think of your own self worth. I know it's silly to say since I'm totally the same, but It's the first thing I see in your post that you need to change! :
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About expression yourself, that hurts a bunch eh, because of that damn beast. But there are so many ways to work on that. I hold speeches with myself sometimes (might sound silly) just to raise my voice when nobodies there and just say, HERE I AM AND NOBODIES GONNA GET ME NOW! or something like that. Just to feel that you can talk. Though it's painful I know but don't give into that feeling, SA is hard but you are willing to change right? You want so much so keep on training!
It's like fitness. :
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And maybe you should take drama lessons, or musical lessons or theatre for expression? Or watch videos on youtube ''How to express myself more'' Or something like that.. And you could try cabaret training, to learn to make jokes. A lot of people like that!
Hey, good luck my friend, and please express yourself the way you are from the inside and from the outside might be different but there is always a different person in a social phobic..... I know that!