Relationships

[Bloir]

I am not worried about it, i am very good alone, months ago i was very obssesed thinking i had to get a partner to be happy but i consider more important learning to live by myself. Also i could not be to tied nobody

If i have a couple, it will be when i am 40 years...Hahaha, then maybe my SA or my age is a problem!!

 

[HH]

I don't think some of you should worry too much, as some of you are still young at 18-19.

 

[MrJones]

I'm ok being alone, but sometimes I feel like everything could be better with someone by my side. Certainly SA is my major enemy when trying to find someone but this is something I hope won't be an obstacle when the right time comes.

 

[JamieD]

Hi,
Does anyone feel like they'll never find a boyfriend / girlfriend because of they're SA/SP?

All my friends are in relationships, and I'm the oldest of my friends.
The opportunity of meeting new people will never arise because I don't go out, and plus I don't talk unless absolutely necessary.

Although I love being on my own, I can't help but think I could be a lot happier if I was in a relationship.

Can anyone relate?

I can relate to EVERY sentence there. And i'm your age, well.. 20.
It kind of feels good to know there's someone my age who feels exactly like i do, i thought i was broken beyond repair :roll eyes:
Well, perhaps i still am.. ::

 

[*Amy*]

Yeah, I can really relate to what you're saying, although in my own case... actually, I don't feel like going into a relationship right now. I'm well with my independence, and I don't want it to change And besides, if I were in a relationship I would be wondering all the time what is he doing, does he like his new beautiful acquaintance... I'm much better as I am now, really

 

[Mickery]

So... why do you think the NHS service will not help you?

I just read through all the replies and I think I may be the oldest to say ME TOO. I'm 38 and never been in a relationship. :: I desperately want one, but I'm just too terrified of dating.

If it's somebody you already know first then you may not have to go through the traditional dating process.

I don't think some of you should worry too much, as some of you are still young at 18-19.

I see where you're coming from, and it may be true that the problem is less necessary to address at that age because it may be less severe. But it's a crucial age for personal development. Later on in life you get a job, settle down, and life is pretty similar from there on in. But when you're young life is different, it changes fast and you don't get to try again. If you don't take advantage of University life, that's it. I have the utmost regret for what I lost.

 

[darkrider]

I don't even have friends who are girls, much as for a gf.

 

[Honda]

After college the key is building a larger social circle and meeting people until oneday you find someone... I went to salsa classes and it make me more confident with women and i met a girl who liked me there and took her out for one date... Never saw her since she was a player... Im going on occasions now as I started getting a parasitic feeling of desperation to go there and meet other women and wanted to counter that.

Basically casually meeting and interacting with many people in this world and then slowly things will piece together as opporunities come by. In college such activites are at peak but this does not mean the world ends there..

 

[Josette]

If it's somebody you already know first then you may not have to go through the traditional dating process.

Wouldn't that be wonderful? If someone I knew at work, got to be friends with and then it just evolved into more? I would love that.

I feel like that may be my only chance. In RL, you get to know someone and if you like them, they become attractive to you. If I try online dating--well, it's initially based on appearance. A friend who tried it said there's a lot of guys saying they want someone who's "HWP" -- height weight proportional. In other words, no fatties.

 

[Shant]

Yes, I've pretty much given up because of it. Although essentially, I've closed myself off to the possibility of love, getting close to someone else, and the idea of trusting someone else like that.

 

[drganon]

I would love to be in one, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. I'm also slightly jaded when it comes to relationships in general due to my parents marriage and divorce.

 

[Bittersweet]

I would like a relationship, but I struggle with the idea that anyone would want a long term relationship with me. I worry that if they truly got to know me, they'd either be bored or scared off.

 

[upndwn]

I'm 32 years old and have never been in a serious relationship, although I have been close a couple of times. It always seem that I scare people away when I want to take it to the next step.

I see all my friends getting established and starting families so I really feel like an outsider. I wish i could find that special someone but all the girls I meet only wants me as a friend.

 

[drganon]

Frankly, I just don't think I can handle being rejected, so I don't even bother to try asking girls out. Not that I could get the courage to talk to them to begin with anyway.

 

[Anti Matter]

Frankly, I just don't think I can handle being rejected, so I don't even bother to try asking girls out.

^^^^^This.

 

[Honda]

Well thats the only way to do it... You gotta start from now better late than never..

 

[EnigmatiConduit]

I think the sa makes it incredibly hard. I myself from it am just closed off and afraid.. i guess you just have to be lucky and come across that person who pushes through your fears and really makes an effort for you. Not going out and socialising does make it harder, but think of it like this too.. those people out socialising may not be enough like you anyway.. not right for you. Try the net to meet people.. often you find people just like you just trying to find a way or you find a person who as is i mentioned above. The internet is an amazing thing, connecting us all so easily and anonymously if you wish... you won't feel as at risk to share things with a person over the net.. and maybe it will grow.

 

[mikebird]

to this particular point -no. i can't welcome anyone before cleaning my own mess inside.
(friends would be nice though.)

That spells it for me.

I don't have a longlasting anxiety, and really no phobia - I like getting involved with others, although each event doesn't always go perfectly well. I had an amazing social life, which has dwindled, but I hope it gets better.

All things together - a lack of work or relationship becomes a tough situation to dig yourself out of. One of those two leads me quickly to gaining the other! The effort and time I put towards achieving these things are huge!

I think the chicken & egg scenario arose a long time ago, having lost a partner due to her decision, and this has led immediately to scrambling desperately back into life. Mess inside has developed. Each day can put me in a really +ve mood, or the reverse...