Relationships

[mozart87]

oh c'mon you must be killing me.. I don't understand why girls are concerned over this things...
you know there's a lot more pressure on guys...cause it's assumed they have to make the first move..girls just have to have fun LOL
also sex is pretty risky for you (because of pregnacy risk and possibility of infecting with viruses that cause cancer) so it's better for you to save for the right one.

if you take care of yourself someone will sure notice you and make the first move. you can start with online dating there are really few girls "ok" on these sites

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

oh c'mon you must be killing me.. I don't understand why girls are concerned over this things...
you know there's a lot more pressure on guys...cause it's assumed they have to make the first move..girls just have to have fun LOL
also sex is pretty risky for you (because of pregnacy risk and possibility of infecting with viruses that cause cancer) so it's better for you to save for the right one.

if you take care of yourself someone will sure notice you and make the first move. you can start with online dating there are really few girls "ok" on these sites

Ok, I agree, it is harder on guys because History has always shown that men go out to find a parnter and women wait to be found.
However, it's just as soul crushing to have never been in relationship for a women as it is for man.

I would say that just because a large perportion of women aren't exactly saints, don't write off the entire sex. I WOULD say that, if I didn't believe it about men LOL

No, there are good people out there, just need to find them. However being inside 24/7 isn't going to give one much of a chance.

A lot of the repsonces do say use a dating site...so maybe that's something i'll take into concidersation.

xx

 

[Mickery]

Is that the Friends building in your avatar? Going for irony?

I'm ten years older than you in a similar position and there's older than me still. I've known people without SA who haven't had a partner until your age.

I have had the opportunity, but it turned out that when confronted with the choice... I wasn't ready. I felt too ashamed to explain myself, I felt like I wasn't a good enough package, I wasn't comfortable around people in an intimate way, etc, etc, etc. So I turned them down. I tried a dating site, but just ended up chatting with people online and browsing. Being single wasn't really my problem and a partner wasn't a solution.

I'm not saying this will be true for you, in fact I haven't seen anybody yet who directly reflected my own behavior. But since you say you prefer being on your own, you don't like to talk much, (etc, etc?) I thought it was worth saying.

 

[prickly prickly hedgehog]

Yes, I can definitely relate and I am very nearly 22. Sometimes I sit with my friends as they happily chat about their sex lives and their boyfriends and I worry I will never ever have anything to contribute. I've never even kissed anybody.

I think maybe if I had somebody like a boyfriend to confide in I would get better, but what if I still didn't feel safe with that person either and it just made me feel even more alone and afraid?

I think right now it is probably better to work on beating my SA by myself, because otherwise my insecurities are going to get in the way of having an honest and communicative relationship which could be harmful to the other person too. But that is probably just an excuse! Sorry to ramble on about myself.

18 is really not that old at all.

 

[Beatmetrics]

Hi,
Does anyone feel like they'll never find a boyfriend / girlfriend because of they're SA/SP?

All my friends are in relationships, and I'm the oldest of my friends.
The opportunity of meeting new people will never arise because I don't go out, and plus I don't talk unless absolutely necessary.

Although I love being on my own, I can't help but think I could be a lot happier if I was in a relationship.

Can anyone relate?

Just try embrace being single because being in a relationship isn't as great as it may seem. Ok well, what I mean is you shouldn't feel its a need to be in a relationship. However, if you feel the right person walks by go for it and catch her/him.

I'm sorry, and to add it seems like others are in a relationship because of the same statement well I just feel other are in one so why aren't I. It's like a ripple effect that I think some people get themselves into...but that just IMO

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS, KEEP THEM COMING




Dear Mickery,
Yes....I guess it is a bit ironic I just have it on there because I'm a huge FREIENDS fan.

I completley understand what you're saying. I do think sorting my own insecureities out first is best, and then think about relationships.
I think you may be on to something, with the whole, if I did get the opportunity to have a relationship, would I run away? Fight or Flight.

Quick question, did your SA get better or worse with age?

 

[Ransfordrowe]

Society does put pressure on people to be in couples.Friends,family make subtle or less subtle remarks about you being single.Im single and Im not sure if I want to be in a relation.My view changes fairly regularly.If people want to be in a relationship then thats find but if they want to stay single then that should not be a problem either. Relationships are complex things.

 

[Tyler.d]

That is EXACTLY how I feel!

You're a little older than me, sorry to say that makes me feel a little better, that there are people older who also havent has a relationship yet.
Means I'm not the only one going through this

Can I ask what holds you back? Is it JUST your social anxiety or various things?

Also, you're name....?? You don't happen to be a Fight Club fan by any chance?
- Jodie

It is mainly my social anxiety and overall lack of confidence that holds me back, I have a pretty low opinion of myself which doesn't help at all.

I'm glad I've made somebody at least feel better somehow lol

nope I'm not in a fight club or want to be, I just like the film.

 

[Tyler.d]

Ha I just noticed you have tyler in your name too, shall we make a club?

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

I didn't think you were actually in a FIGHT club, I thought you were a fan of the film.

And well spotted, the Tyler in my profile name is from Tyler Durden. The Jodie part is my actual name LOL

Sure lets start a club.

 

[Mickery]

Quick question, did your SA get better or worse with age?

Mostly worse. It's intensely self-perpetuating. You isolate yourself, you feel bad about being isolated, you get used to be isolated, you isolate yourself more...

You refer yourself with the NHS service, just call them up and describe your problems as they ask and they'll get back to you with what they can do about it.
Talking Therapies Berkshire East | West

 

[caringsoul]

Mostly worse. It's intensely self-perpetuating. You isolate yourself, you feel bad about being isolated, you get used to be isolated, you isolate yourself more...

that sounds like me... i need help!

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

Mostly worse. It's intensely self-perpetuating. You isolate yourself, you feel bad about being isolated, you get used to be isolated, you isolate yourself more...

You refer yourself with the NHS service, just call them up and describe your problems as they ask and they'll get back to you with what they can do about it.
Talking Therapies Berkshire East | West

Yeah, i actually work for Berkshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust, which is NHS's mental health services. So I know all about whats available. None of which i think will help.

 

[Mickery]

Oh, you're just full of irony! Why do you think it won't help?

 

[Liam17]

Well.....

Quite interesting subject.

I have kinda of being with women, although when things to go so well, i always screw things up, through my lack of confidence.

 

[userremoved]

Well it hasn't happened yet. So considering my history I think it's safe to assume I'll continue to remain single because of this. The older I get, the more awkward and less confident I feel about not knowing the first thing about dating. While most people are learning from experience and the mistakes of teen years, I'm 28 and still dont even know what exactly a date is. So yeah, I'm screwed as far as I'm concerned. People try to tell me differently but they don't realize my online me is a lot more outgoing than the real me.

 

[ShyChild]

Hi,
Does anyone feel like they'll never find a boyfriend / girlfriend because of they're SA/SP?

All my friends are in relationships, and I'm the oldest of my friends.
The opportunity of meeting new people will never arise because I don't go out, and plus I don't talk unless absolutely necessary.

Although I love being on my own, I can't help but think I could be a lot happier if I was in a relationship.

Can anyone relate?

Yes just tonight. Some girl randomly asked me to join her group. After much hesitation, I finally decided I needed to push myself. So besides the other girl, there were 2 guys. One was good-looking & it triggered the discomfort. I actually didn't too bad, but I feel so discouraged. Like it's never going to happen.

I want a relationship so much. Sick of being alone. 25 years old & I've always been alone & I'm beginning to think it will never end.

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

WOW, didn't know there were so many people going through the same thing. I don't feel so much of an outcast

Just wanna say, I'm really grateful for all your advice and comments, they really help.

 

[Josette]

I just read through all the replies and I think I may be the oldest to say ME TOO. I'm 38 and never been in a relationship. :: I desperately want one, but I'm just too terrified of dating.

 

[Honda]

I feel comfortable being single yet I still need a partner for emotional support and sex.. and vice versa..

Im single yet cannot find a person I can e comfortable with as i find it challenging to catch up with society and its standards..