LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
nvm.... it just is lol
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yeah.more work than most of them are worth actually.
I used to think that, too.
Now I realize that it's because I was with all the wrong people.
If you find the right person it becomes... easier.
Hang in there
Yeah i'm not sure. It's just my bf texts everday after 6 months and it's tiring.... It's to keep communication going but it's so much communication I try to keep my responses short now so it will be short conversations but I would rather talk less and more detailed with space inbetween. We hung out two days ago and he already wants to hangout again. I can understand if your married and happen to see eachother everday but dating and having to drive over and plan a date isn't really fun 2 twice a week.
Why not try explaining to him the way you feel? It seems like he enjoys communication, but I totally understand why you're tired of it. I'm horrible when it comes to stuff like that. But honesty is always better than keeping it to yourself and growing bitter.
lemme guess you are very introverted?im the same way, i simply find relationships, even friendships to be very exhausting and much more work than they are worth.maybe others are correct in that we havent found the right guy/girl but in my situation i dont think there is a right girl out there that needs as much space as i do..
Well, I don't like too much texts too.. I prefer longer e-mails or such and more in-depth conversation more spaced apart too... except occasionally, with 'special' people..
What is your preferred mode of communication? Could he write you letters instead? hehe Maybe you guys could discuss this, yeah.. Or can you just 'not reply' to texts immediately and 'stretch the time'? Write more next day, or in 2 days? (And then tell you were busy?) Though maybe he'd want to come over then lol..
You can say you need some 'alone time' or that you're working on some project/homework or something? and reassure him, that you do like him and want to be with him, like you told us here... Or you could give him a 'project', like he can write you a song or something? My dad gets annoying if he doesn't have 'something to do (eg make some furniture or work in garden etc)
Maybe you guys could even do Myers-Briggs tests or such and if he's ENTP and you're INTP or something, the tests can explain the differences a bit?
I sometimes told people that I had a busy day/week and lots of 'information overload' the previous day and needed to find my balance/recharge batteries etc.
Sometimes people don't get it, sometimes I just needed to move away lol.
Is it maybe what he talks about that doesn't interest you? Could you choose/find together another topic/theme or a few? Or is he not 'optimistic' enough? (I didn't quite get that part.)
A friend said her bf was depressed a lot, she sent him biking or such then.
Together, for me it was easier if hiking or walking sometimes, to deal with an extravert (or a few) they get exerted by physical energy sometimes... Or you can say you need quiet to preserve energy or such.. (sometimes it didn't work lol - if they had 'things to say', or were alone a lot...)
Does he spend a lot of time alone? Eg working behind computer all day? Sometimes people can get very 'chatty' then... Does he have other people/friends/relatives he can hang out and talk with? Just some things to consider...
Take care & hope things get better, or you find someone more on your 'energy level'!
I think if you have an honest conversation, you'll at least know where you're at...
Is this a stressful time for you or him? (eg exam time, or work/family stress etc) That can be a factor too...
If he's a 'high energy' person and maybe very sportsy it can be annoying for someone with not so much energy (at least in my experience lol, even with friends and family members) Coffee, RedBull, Coca Cola or such can make a person more 'wired' and 'annoying' too! lol - Or if one of you or both might have a lot on the mind... it can play a role..
Hope you manage to work things out!!
Yep, I can't even get along with myself most of the time.
maybe it's a matter of finding work you enjoy