LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
nvm.... it just is lol
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relationship seems like a lot of work
- Thread starter LazyHermitCrab
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Agent_Violet
Well-known member
yeah.more work than most of them are worth actually.
sparsilestar
Active member
I used to think that, too.
Now I realize that it's because I was with all the wrong people.
If you find the right person it becomes... easier.
Hang in there
Now I realize that it's because I was with all the wrong people.
If you find the right person it becomes... easier.
Hang in there
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
Yeah i'm not sure. It's just my bf texts everday after 6 months and it's tiring.... It's to keep communication going but it's so much communication
I try to keep my responses short now so it will be short conversations but I would rather talk less and more detailed with space inbetween. We hung out two days ago and he already wants to hangout again. I can understand if your married and happen to see eachother everday but dating and having to drive over and plan a date isn't really fun 2 twice a week.
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
I used to think that, too.
Now I realize that it's because I was with all the wrong people.
If you find the right person it becomes... easier.
Hang in there
Maybe if I had a really good friend to hang out with. I have two friends i enjoy hanging which is my cousin and one other friend with a lot of friends but even that is hard. I want someone optimistic to hang out with who doesn't have to talk about. Hope it will come thx.
sparsilestar
Active member
Yeah i'm not sure. It's just my bf texts everday after 6 months and it's tiring.... It's to keep communication going but it's so much communication
Why not try explaining to him the way you feel? It seems like he enjoys communication, but I totally understand why you're tired of it. I'm horrible when it comes to stuff like that. But honesty is always better than keeping it to yourself and growing bitter.
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
True i'm just afraid he will think I don't like him and want to break up which I don't just need more alone time. I should though you're right.
lemme guess you are very introverted?im the same way, i simply find relationships, even friendships to be very exhausting and much more work than they are worth.maybe others are correct in that we havent found the right guy/girl but in my situation i dont think there is a right girl out there that needs as much space as i do..
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
you guessed right
i'm not sure what would be a good person to date because when he doesn't say anything then i think oh no so basically i'm never happy not sure why i complain to begin with lol....Well, I don't like too much texts too.. I prefer longer e-mails or such and more in-depth conversation more spaced apart too... except occasionally, with 'special' people..
What is your preferred mode of communication? Could he write you letters instead? hehe Maybe you guys could discuss this, yeah.. Or can you just 'not reply' to texts immediately and 'stretch the time'? Write more next day, or in 2 days? (And then tell you were busy?) Though maybe he'd want to come over then lol..
You can say you need some 'alone time' or that you're working on some project/homework or something? and reassure him, that you do like him and want to be with him, like you told us here... Or you could give him a 'project', like he can write you a song or something? My dad gets annoying if he doesn't have 'something to do (eg make some furniture or work in garden etc)
Maybe you guys could even do Myers-Briggs tests or such and if he's ENTP and you're INTP or something, the tests can explain the differences a bit?
I sometimes told people that I had a busy day/week and lots of 'information overload' the previous day and needed to find my balance/recharge batteries etc.
Sometimes people don't get it, sometimes I just needed to move away lol.
Is it maybe what he talks about that doesn't interest you? Could you choose/find together another topic/theme or a few? Or is he not 'optimistic' enough? (I didn't quite get that part.)
A friend said her bf was depressed a lot, she sent him biking or such then.
Together, for me it was easier if hiking or walking sometimes, to deal with an extravert (or a few) they get exerted by physical energy sometimes... Or you can say you need quiet to preserve energy or such.. (sometimes it didn't work lol - if they had 'things to say', or were alone a lot...)
Does he spend a lot of time alone? Eg working behind computer all day? Sometimes people can get very 'chatty' then... Does he have other people/friends/relatives he can hang out and talk with? Just some things to consider...
Take care & hope things get better, or you find someone more on your 'energy level'!
I think if you have an honest conversation, you'll at least know where you're at...
Is this a stressful time for you or him? (eg exam time, or work/family stress etc) That can be a factor too...
If he's a 'high energy' person and maybe very sportsy it can be annoying for someone with not so much energy (at least in my experience lol, even with friends and family members) Coffee, RedBull, Coca Cola or such can make a person more 'wired' and 'annoying' too! lol - Or if one of you or both might have a lot on the mind... it can play a role..
Hope you manage to work things out!!
What is your preferred mode of communication? Could he write you letters instead? hehe Maybe you guys could discuss this, yeah.. Or can you just 'not reply' to texts immediately and 'stretch the time'? Write more next day, or in 2 days? (And then tell you were busy?) Though maybe he'd want to come over then lol..
You can say you need some 'alone time' or that you're working on some project/homework or something? and reassure him, that you do like him and want to be with him, like you told us here... Or you could give him a 'project', like he can write you a song or something?
My dad gets annoying if he doesn't have 'something to do (eg make some furniture or work in garden etc)Maybe you guys could even do Myers-Briggs tests or such and if he's ENTP and you're INTP or something, the tests can explain the differences a bit?
I sometimes told people that I had a busy day/week and lots of 'information overload' the previous day and needed to find my balance/recharge batteries etc.
Sometimes people don't get it, sometimes I just needed to move away lol.
Is it maybe what he talks about that doesn't interest you? Could you choose/find together another topic/theme or a few? Or is he not 'optimistic' enough? (I didn't quite get that part.)
A friend said her bf was depressed a lot, she sent him biking or such then.
Together, for me it was easier if hiking or walking sometimes, to deal with an extravert (or a few) they get exerted by physical energy sometimes... Or you can say you need quiet to preserve energy or such.. (sometimes it didn't work lol - if they had 'things to say', or were alone a lot...)
Does he spend a lot of time alone? Eg working behind computer all day? Sometimes people can get very 'chatty' then... Does he have other people/friends/relatives he can hang out and talk with? Just some things to consider...
Take care & hope things get better, or you find someone more on your 'energy level'!
I think if you have an honest conversation, you'll at least know where you're at...
Is this a stressful time for you or him? (eg exam time, or work/family stress etc) That can be a factor too...
If he's a 'high energy' person and maybe very sportsy it can be annoying for someone with not so much energy (at least in my experience lol, even with friends and family members) Coffee, RedBull, Coca Cola or such can make a person more 'wired' and 'annoying' too! lol - Or if one of you or both might have a lot on the mind... it can play a role..
Hope you manage to work things out!!
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LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
Well, I don't like too much texts too.. I prefer longer e-mails or such and more in-depth conversation more spaced apart too... except occasionally, with 'special' people..
What is your preferred mode of communication? Could he write you letters instead? hehe Maybe you guys could discuss this, yeah.. Or can you just 'not reply' to texts immediately and 'stretch the time'? Write more next day, or in 2 days? (And then tell you were busy?) Though maybe he'd want to come over then lol..
You can say you need some 'alone time' or that you're working on some project/homework or something? and reassure him, that you do like him and want to be with him, like you told us here... Or you could give him a 'project', like he can write you a song or something?
Maybe you guys could even do Myers-Briggs tests or such and if he's ENTP and you're INTP or something, the tests can explain the differences a bit?
I sometimes told people that I had a busy day/week and lots of 'information overload' the previous day and needed to find my balance/recharge batteries etc.
Sometimes people don't get it, sometimes I just needed to move away lol.
Is it maybe what he talks about that doesn't interest you? Could you choose/find together another topic/theme or a few? Or is he not 'optimistic' enough? (I didn't quite get that part.)
A friend said her bf was depressed a lot, she sent him biking or such then.
Together, for me it was easier if hiking or walking sometimes, to deal with an extravert (or a few) they get exerted by physical energy sometimes... Or you can say you need quiet to preserve energy or such.. (sometimes it didn't work lol - if they had 'things to say', or were alone a lot...)
Does he spend a lot of time alone? Eg working behind computer all day? Sometimes people can get very 'chatty' then... Does he have other people/friends/relatives he can hang out and talk with? Just some things to consider...
Take care & hope things get better, or you find someone more on your 'energy level'!
I think if you have an honest conversation, you'll at least know where you're at...
Is this a stressful time for you or him? (eg exam time, or work/family stress etc) That can be a factor too...
If he's a 'high energy' person and maybe very sportsy it can be annoying for someone with not so much energy (at least in my experience lol, even with friends and family members) Coffee, RedBull, Coca Cola or such can make a person more 'wired' and 'annoying' too! lol - Or if one of you or both might have a lot on the mind... it can play a role..
Hope you manage to work things out!!
He's an introvert too but he likes to talk and be around people laid back like? I'm an INTJ so close
He has a lot of friends and work takes up time but not a lot. He works about 15 hrs at a grocery store but he still wants to talk after work. If he's around people he doesn't know he's quiet but he likes to talk and comments on how we don't talk enough. I'm thinking what???? Lol. I would like to write letters that would be cool I think he would go crazy if I left my phone for an entire day and not say anything. I did this once and he called and left messages saying he was going to call my house to make sure i was okay
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
Same sometimes i leave the tv on when i sleep so i don't think my own thoughts.... i feel like half of me is one way and the other is another so it's confusing :S
Helmaninquiel
Well-known member
I can't make a relationship work at all, I over analyze everything. I might be able to make one work who has SA though.
BlueDays
1
Re: rewarding
^I agree.
The hard part is finding a relationship where the inevitable hard work that is necessary to make it successful, is actually worth it.
^I agree.
The hard part is finding a relationship where the inevitable hard work that is necessary to make it successful, is actually worth it.
polishgirl
Well-known member
Hm that's the thing with me. I dream of a relationship, of a man I can get close to, of having someone close by my side. But then, the intimacy scares me. The amount of work you have to put in: always available, and replying to texts, calling back. I have a problem with that, I'm too scared to be in constant contact. So, yes, relationship seem like a lot of work but they are a great reward too!
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MrJones
Well-known member
I've never been in a relationship and honestly I don't expect to ever be in one, but if I ever meet someone I love and who loves me too, I would work as hard as I could to make things work. Of course things won't be easy, as life never is, but it's work you will enjoy so you can stay with the one you love.
da_illest101
Well-known member
I can't help but to think relationships are like this: at first you are willing to do anything for or with the person but after a while it becomes a part time job, then a full time job, then you just want to quit.