Reaching Out...(A place to rant, cry out for help, and confess)
- Thread starter M1tCh
- Start date
Kat
Well-known member
Hmm. well, maybe i was being too negative heh.
Can you provide your own definition of group dynamics? Maybe it will help to clear up some of the haziness from what I'm reading...Illuminate me.
lol I don’t know how illuminating this will be :
:butclick define:group dynamics - Google Search
Friskyfox
New member
I think it's a fantastic idea! There are many members in these groups that have a quiet voice, a lot don't make friends, people look at their profile then leave without saying a word, they get discouraged easily (such is the nature of SA) and yes, at first I was one of them. Communication is essential in any rellationshhip or interaction otherwise people start feeling like they aren't being given a chance. This thread gives them the chance to communicate those feelings and get a gentle shove in the right direction. It makes the quiet voice heard. I rather like it. Anyway it's theraputic to rant (as long as it's in the right direction - Sorry Debs). Well done.
Kat
Well-known member
That’s right, people may know it's the sp that's causing them to feel that way but if they don't have evidence that others feel the same as well, then there's no challenge to their negative thoughts. It doesn’t cure knowing that others feel the same but it does help.
That it goes without saying bs, where it is all left up to assumption and nobody talks about it, usually leads down to a very destructive path.
Devrium
Well-known member
Please don't delete this thread.. I think it is a great idea.. and well I may not really be that quiet but I...could really use a thread like this.. I mean *confession time* I have been skirting around the edges of that "How are you feeling?" thread since I joined this site because there are so many things I want to say.. to rant and vent and cry out so I don't go insane.. I have written and rewritten post after post to put on there but I just haven't done it yet because.. I felt like people probably wouldn't care to read a long drawn out thing about how psycho I am and it might be inappropriate to put on that thread etc etc.. so I have just been driving myself insane today trying to deal with all these inner demons that are completely eating me alive right now.. I probably have spent 80% of the day crying and pulling my hair out and pacing back and forth and feeling suicidal etc etc etc and that's not even scratching the surface of all the things I have to say... So yea.. please don't delete this thread.. for the sake of the quiet among us who need it, and the not so quiet *points to self* as well..
Hellhound
Super Moderator
Hey, don't worry! People here will understand you and care, I'm sure. Don't feel like you have to keep anything to yourself, that's not good for you. If you wanna talk, if you wanna vent, then do it. You'll be listened. You're not alone here
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
I think this thread is a good idea, too. & I've done the same thing as Devrium, with starting posts for the "How are you feeling?" thread & then deleting them. There's a lot of stuff I have to talk about but I have no one to talk to about them. A lot of it is things I know no one even wants to hear about. I'm not really feeling up to writing about things, atm, but I'm planning on it, so long as this post is still around the next time I visit this site.
Devrium
Well-known member
I just need to... talk. I figured this was probably the best thread to do it in... So.. no one feel obligated to read this.. I think if I don't get it off my chest tho, I am going to go crazy...so here I am.
I just spent the last hour thinking about the best way to kill myself tonight... Ever since my Aunt got put in the hospital the other day and I have had to come live with mom again life has been complete hell. I have spent 3 days now locked in my room. She has been non stop yelling and screaming and throwing things at me and at my bedroom door.. she's completely psycho and delusional.. accusing me of things.. I don't even remember doing. I have no idea what she is talking about most of the time. She basically told me I have to be out by tomorrow morning... I have no friends (literally none) and no other family... I have no where to go.. I have no money.. and I don't even have a car. I don't know what to do. I told my boyfriend and he's just like, "Sorry, can't help you" Cuz he lives like 1400 miles away... I was homeless for 3 years.. I don't want to live on the streets again. I just wish my boyfriend would have even said.. hitch hike to CA and I will help you... I wish he would have said anything comforting at all in fact. Instead he just changes the subject and then signs off msn without saying another word. If it were me in his shoes and him in mine, I would do everything in my power to help him. So now I feel abandoned and completely unloved by the one person I thought I had some hope with.. then again maybe my expectations are just too high. I can understand how it would be a stressful situation on him especially because he feels powerless to help me... or doesn't want to help me... but still...
So now I have to come up with some sort of plan and I feel scared and more alone in this world than I ever have in my whole life... How can my life be going to complete hell like this? I just keep telling myself... "this isn't happening"... but it is.. and the only thing I want to do at the moment is lay down in some gutter and die. That's all I feel good enough for...
I'm not really asking for help.. I mean I know there is nothing any of you can do. Of course there is a chance mom will calm down and change her mind... so yea I still have a warm place to sleep at night.. but then what? I still get yelled at and accused of things... it's still hell on Earth.. I need to get out of here.. I just don't know how. So I feel completely trapped and at the end of my already very short rope. I was just hanging on until June... to be with my boyfriend, to move to CA. That was the plan. He never said it still wasn't, mind you.. but sometimes when I talk to him about it he gets all quiet and uncertain.. like he would rather avoid that topic. So it makes me feel like he doesn't actually want that which makes me feel absolutely hopeless. So, I have learned to just not bring it up.. I can understand it would stress him out because it's not like his life is perfect either.. and adding one more person he would feel responsible for must scare him.. but I guess I am a hopeless romantic.. the type that believes everything and anything is possible with love... Stupid of me, I know. Life's not that good or easy... I guess I have just been waiting for my knight in shining armor to come rescue me, and I hoped with all my heart it was him.. like that would ever happen. And now I feel so stupid and mad at myself for being so delusional about everything.. (even tho part of me still prays and hopes and wishes that it is him.. that one day it will happen)... which makes me even more upset *sigh*
So now all I can think to do... is end it all. But I am too much of a coward even for that. I feel completely pathetic and worthless right now... I really, really don't know what to do... I wish I had enough strength and courage to make it on my own... I wish I didn't feel completely alone right now... I wish I had someone that actually gave a **** about me... but when did wishing ever get us anywhere? ...
I feel sick... and I really, really wish I was dead right now. I see no point to living.. none at all.. and not surprisingly I don't really feel any better after typing all of this out... But thanks for listening I guess.. I hope all you are having a much better day =/
I just spent the last hour thinking about the best way to kill myself tonight... Ever since my Aunt got put in the hospital the other day and I have had to come live with mom again life has been complete hell. I have spent 3 days now locked in my room. She has been non stop yelling and screaming and throwing things at me and at my bedroom door.. she's completely psycho and delusional.. accusing me of things.. I don't even remember doing. I have no idea what she is talking about most of the time. She basically told me I have to be out by tomorrow morning... I have no friends (literally none) and no other family... I have no where to go.. I have no money.. and I don't even have a car. I don't know what to do. I told my boyfriend and he's just like, "Sorry, can't help you" Cuz he lives like 1400 miles away... I was homeless for 3 years.. I don't want to live on the streets again. I just wish my boyfriend would have even said.. hitch hike to CA and I will help you... I wish he would have said anything comforting at all in fact. Instead he just changes the subject and then signs off msn without saying another word. If it were me in his shoes and him in mine, I would do everything in my power to help him. So now I feel abandoned and completely unloved by the one person I thought I had some hope with.. then again maybe my expectations are just too high. I can understand how it would be a stressful situation on him especially because he feels powerless to help me... or doesn't want to help me... but still...
So now I have to come up with some sort of plan and I feel scared and more alone in this world than I ever have in my whole life... How can my life be going to complete hell like this? I just keep telling myself... "this isn't happening"... but it is.. and the only thing I want to do at the moment is lay down in some gutter and die. That's all I feel good enough for...
I'm not really asking for help.. I mean I know there is nothing any of you can do. Of course there is a chance mom will calm down and change her mind... so yea I still have a warm place to sleep at night.. but then what? I still get yelled at and accused of things... it's still hell on Earth.. I need to get out of here.. I just don't know how. So I feel completely trapped and at the end of my already very short rope. I was just hanging on until June... to be with my boyfriend, to move to CA. That was the plan. He never said it still wasn't, mind you.. but sometimes when I talk to him about it he gets all quiet and uncertain.. like he would rather avoid that topic. So it makes me feel like he doesn't actually want that which makes me feel absolutely hopeless. So, I have learned to just not bring it up.. I can understand it would stress him out because it's not like his life is perfect either.. and adding one more person he would feel responsible for must scare him.. but I guess I am a hopeless romantic.. the type that believes everything and anything is possible with love... Stupid of me, I know. Life's not that good or easy... I guess I have just been waiting for my knight in shining armor to come rescue me, and I hoped with all my heart it was him.. like that would ever happen. And now I feel so stupid and mad at myself for being so delusional about everything.. (even tho part of me still prays and hopes and wishes that it is him.. that one day it will happen)... which makes me even more upset *sigh*
So now all I can think to do... is end it all. But I am too much of a coward even for that. I feel completely pathetic and worthless right now... I really, really don't know what to do... I wish I had enough strength and courage to make it on my own... I wish I didn't feel completely alone right now... I wish I had someone that actually gave a **** about me... but when did wishing ever get us anywhere? ...
I feel sick... and I really, really wish I was dead right now. I see no point to living.. none at all.. and not surprisingly I don't really feel any better after typing all of this out... But thanks for listening I guess.. I hope all you are having a much better day =/
davidburke
Well-known member
i'm really sorry about whats happening and i don't what to say. can you talk to your mum at all about it or does she listen to you?
I read, and I feel for you. Can't really think of anything helpful to say though. Does your boyfriend have his own place?
AimeeSP
Well-known member
Devrium, i read all your post and i am so sorry for what you're going through. I'm not sure what to say to help, and it makes it harder because we live in different countries so i can't advise any charitys that help with homelessness (if it came to that). I just wanted you to know i care. I may be a stranger in another country but i do care, i just wish i could help. *hug*
Andria_La La
Member
i've kinda felt the same way this week as well. i'm so pissed that the guy i would spend my life with thinks of me as his little sister sometimes sometimes*, and he thinks that instead of actually loving him, i just want to be with him cuz i need someone to talk to cuz i don't talk to anyone--i'm here cuz i think i do have SAD but i havent been diagnosed--and i'm lonely and needy. i think i am needy and lonely but that's not why i want to have his babies--wat u think?
I'm so sorry for your situation. I don't know what to say too. But seriously, if I'm near you, I'll ask you to meet me. I can listen to you vent all day, that's the least thing I can do to comfort you.