Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

upndwn

upndwn

Well-known member
I thought I was over this girl, but today she came out and told me she had strong feelings for me, but she has a boyfriend so things are a bit complicated. We spent the day together me, her and her three year old daughter. For the first time in my life it felt like I had a family.

My heart keeps telling me to go for it, but I know we are to different and that it would never work. We have almost nothing in common and she's 12 years younger than me and it shows. She is full of energy and wants to be around people and do stuff all the time. I just want to relax, watch a movie or go out to eat and stuff like that. I wonder how this will all end.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
BlueDays said:
I wonder if my self-esteem will ever be high enough for people's criticisms of me to not cut me up so bad.:confused:
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I was just talking to someone about this today. It's odd, it fluctuates for me. Sometimes I'm not bothered, sometimes I am. Just like sometimes I'm calm, and sometimes I'm socially anxious. It's baffling to me.

What frustrates me about the whole thing is I KNOW it's irrational, but I feel powerless to stop it. Not saying I am, but I FEEL that way and have no idea how to go about changing it. It's like a primitive part of my brain - perhaps the area that regulates fear response - is just in overdrive all the time. It's literally a reaction that happens involuntarily, and once the fear gets hold of me I can't get out of it no matter how hard I try. No one seems to get that though, they just judge and call me paranoid, insecure, mock me, all that. I feel as if I am two separate people in one body, the calm and rational fighting with the frightened irrational.
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
twiggle said:
I'd like to hyphenate ::p:
Only because I have an unusual surname and want to carry the name on.
Or actually... given the last family reunion... do I?
Hahaha.
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I don't get why not every woman keeps her last name when married. If anything, it would make more sense if both the man and the women (or the women & women/man & man) simply gained a secondary surname.

Then the kids could choose who's name they want to carry (possibly both).
 
BiWinning

BiWinning

Well-known member
Tino said:
They shouldn't, feminists should be normal women, rather than big old jack-boot wearing lesbian hippies, that look more like roadies than humans. But somewhere along the line you females killed feminism, it's not my fault.
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Have you not heard of Rebecca Watson?
*eye twitch*
 
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Beatrice

Guest
Jeez this place has changed a lot since I've joined. Or maybe it's just my perspective.....
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
BlueDays said:
I wonder if my self-esteem will ever be high enough for people's criticisms of me to not cut me up so bad.:confused:
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For what it's worth, I haven't seen anything of you that ever needed criticizing. But as little tip, here's a set of general rules I apply when I'm being criticized (regardless of emotions involved, I use them as behavioral protocol);

Perspective of the person with critique.
Whether that perpective is correct/valid or not.
If not, try to correct their view.
If yes, try to see whether there is room for improvement.

Though, the first one is VERY important. Because frankly, many that criticize have no idea what they're talking about, or simply didn't consider all factors.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
blackpuma said:
For what it's worth, I haven't seen anything of you that ever needed criticizing. But as little tip, here's a set of general rules I apply when I'm being criticized;

Perspective of the person with critique.
Whether that perpective is correct/valid or not.
If not, try to correct their view.
If yes, try to see whether there is room for improvement.

Though, the first one is VERY important. Because frankly, many that criticize have no idea what they're talking about, or simply didn't consider all factors.
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This is what I try to do. And you are right, a lot of the time the criticisms seem to come from details they've made up in their own head about you. I'm not innocent of this, I know for a fact I've done it too. Probably everyone has. But you're right, it's important and helpful to keep it in mind, because often people don't know the whole story or know YOU.

Especially with the Internet..... Oh dear lord, the things people assume on here. I once posted something personal and someone responded criticizing it and judging me, and the criticism was just so far off it was kind of humorous. Assumptions were made. Asses as well :D (you know the phrase......). I'm kidding about that last part by the way.
 
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BlueDays

BlueDays

1
blackpuma said:
For what it's worth, I haven't seen anything of you that ever needed criticizing. But as little tip, here's a set of general rules I apply when I'm being criticized;

Perspective of the person with critique.
Whether that perpective is correct/valid or not.
If not, try to correct their view.
If yes, try to see whether there is room for improvement.

Though, the first one is VERY important. Because frankly, many that criticize have no idea what they're talking about, or simply didn't consider all factors.
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awww, your very kind to say that puma, thanks.:)

and yes I should follow those tips of yours more when it happens to me. I suppose old habits die hard. The longer you've had an automatic thought pattern, the longer it takes to learn to over-ride it with a different one.
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
BlueDays said:
awww, your very kind to say that puma, thanks.:)

and yes I should follow those tips of yours more when it happens to me. I suppose old habits die hard. The longer you've had an automatic thought pattern, the longer it takes to learn to over-ride it with a different one.
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Oh, yes definitley. It's very difficult indeed. I have to use strict rules and various protocols just to keep myself remotely in line. Slip ups are very normal, I'd say. ;3
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
Beatrice said:
This is what I try to do. And you are right, a lot of the time the criticisms seem to come from details they've made up in their own head about you. I'm not innocent of this, I know for a fact I've done it too. Probably everyone has. But you're right, it's important and helpful to keep it in mind, because often people don't know the whole story or know YOU.

Especially with the Internet..... Oh dear lord, the things people assume on here. I once posted something personal and someone responded criticizing it and judging me, and the criticism was just so far off it was kind of humorous. Assumptions were made. Asses as well :D (you know the phrase......). I'm kidding about that last part by the way.
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That happens all too often. The thing is that it is just soooooooo much easier to assume. Unless someone is wiling to put the (and has the nessesary) energy into it, judgements and unfounded critisism is easily made.

Though, it's acceptable to some extend. After all, we're all human. :3

Aw, I was just about to ask how one would go about creating an ass. Oh well, back to the imaginary drawing board. Those mules ain't gonna create themselves. 8I
 
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superfluouslyme

superfluouslyme

1
This place has been lively today. I just watched Glee and New Girl and took my puppy on a walk. I did a lot of thinking on that walk and now I feel a blog post coming. I see my therapist tomorrow, so there is no telling if I'll get any sleep tonight.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
Why do some people think they're so much better than everyone else? I don't understand that mentality. And I don't understand how they can live with themselves WITH that mentality. I'm not sure there is anything more off-putting than an arrogant douchebag.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I seriously wish I brought my sketchbook back with me. :/ I've been in the mood to finally get back into drawing again.
 
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