Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

These days I almost feel like it's wrong to be a white middle aged male with masculine traits.
White - can't feel ok about that.
Middle aged - can't be ok with that as a male, if you look for a date you're a creep compared to middle aged or older women who are coined 'cougars'..
And masculine - can't be masculine either.. it's 'toxic'.
Speaking as a white middle aged straight male, I think it's absurdly sad if the things that made you feel good about yourself were the color of your skin and your ability to date women 20 years younger than you without feeling judged. There's absolutely zero opposition to or attacks on white middle aged masculine men in this world, and they're definitely quite far from extinct in hollywood as well, it's just not exclusively held up as the only thing worth being anymore. So you have to stop fixating on these irrelevant characteristics, dig deep, and find something about yourself actually worth being proud of.

And before you go on about how minority groups get to celebrate pride so there should be a middle aged white man pride month too, that's because they have to assert pride as a compensatory reaction to people telling them they should hate themselves for those characteristics their whole lives.
 
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Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've been taking a little bit of a "digital detox" this week. Got rid of both FB and IG on my phone and haven't really been logging into them either. Only if I'm on my computer I'll go to FB to check the little notification icon, but if there's nothing there of importance I close right out of it. Of course I kept messenger on my phone, as that's how a lot of my friends and family text me vs actually using SMS text.

It's been a week of this so far and my mind already feels less cluttered. Not worrying about what I read on NPR or NYT, not constantly exposing myself to the idiots of the internet and seeing what kind of ignorant opinion they have on certain topics, no lingering feelings of envy seeing how many people I know that went on vacation or did something fun while I just work constantly. I can feel myself wanting to have something to distract me though. It's weird. Like something always needs to be grabbing my attention. I still have the urge every time I open my phone to look at FB just for something to do, so I'm going to continue to do this until that feeling is gone. Trying to break myself of habit.

Admittedly I do miss looking at photos (I follow a lot of photographers and artists on IG and I love seeing their work!) and posting my own photos on IG though. I'll definitely get that back on my phone in time. FB I'm wondering if I'll even bother after this, honestly. 🤔
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Speaking as a white middle aged straight male, I think it's absurdly sad if the things that made you feel good about yourself were the color of your skin and your ability to date women 20 years younger than you without feeling judged. There's absolutely zero opposition to or attacks on white middle aged masculine men in this world, and they're definitely quite far from extinct in hollywood as well, it's just not exclusively held up as the only thing worth being anymore. So you have to stop fixating on these irrelevant characteristics, dig deep, and find something about yourself actually worth being proud of.

And before you go on about how minority groups get to celebrate pride so there should be a middle aged white man pride month too, that's because they have to assert pride as a compensatory reaction to people telling them they should hate themselves for those characteristics their whole lives.
Cool story bro.

No one said they were proud of their skin colour or that it was what they felt made them a person. So your hostility is misdirected. On the subject of dating, I've dated women much younger than myself. So once again your point and hostility is misdirected.
I could ring off other things you wrote about.. it's easy to lurk in the background and be a sniper, only shouting out in support when others have spoken out about something (3rd in line lol).. some of us come on here to actually make posts and don't look for approval from others.
I don't set out to offend, like I said in my other post - text can be misinterpreted - which is what's obviously happened here.
But, whatever makes you feel good man. Grab your pitchfork and call for the townsfolk to burn the witch.
As I've already stated I cbf clarifying what my post meant because it'd take too long to write. I don't need to make those who are perpetually and eternally offended feel better. That seems to be more in your domain.
I said what I said, I stand by it. It's OK to not agree.
 
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NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
I am fearing that a girl I know is going to ask me out. She's been ramping up the flirtations. I like her. She's smart, sexy, nice body, etc, so on blah blah. It's just that I'm not doing the dating thing right now.

It reminds me of the old Seinfeld bit about making new friends.

"I'm sure you're a very nice person. You seem to have a lot of potential. But we're just not hiring right now."

After having mulled it over for a few days, I have no idea how I'm going to tell her no if she openly says she wants to date me.

🧐

Friggin' humans.

😕
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I am fearing that a girl I know is going to ask me out. She's been ramping up the flirtations. I like her. She's smart, sexy, nice body, etc, so on blah blah. It's just that I'm not doing the dating thing right now.

It reminds me of the old Seinfeld bit about making new friends.

"I'm sure you're a very nice person. You seem to have a lot of potential. But we're just not hiring right now."

After having mulled it over for a few days, I have no idea how I'm going to tell her no if she openly says she wants to date me.

🧐

Friggin' humans.

😕
*I pictured Nathaniel when he gets asked..
This approach has always worked for me..
Perhaps a more subdued response is more your style?
Or, there's always feigning indifference/ignorance
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
I've been taking a little bit of a "digital detox" this week. Got rid of both FB and IG on my phone and haven't really been logging into them either. Only if I'm on my computer I'll go to FB to check the little notification icon, but if there's nothing there of importance I close right out of it. Of course I kept messenger on my phone, as that's how a lot of my friends and family text me vs actually using SMS text.

It's been a week of this so far and my mind already feels less cluttered. Not worrying about what I read on NPR or NYT, not constantly exposing myself to the idiots of the internet and seeing what kind of ignorant opinion they have on certain topics, no lingering feelings of envy seeing how many people I know that went on vacation or did something fun while I just work constantly. I can feel myself wanting to have something to distract me though. It's weird. Like something always needs to be grabbing my attention. I still have the urge every time I open my phone to look at FB just for something to do, so I'm going to continue to do this until that feeling is gone. Trying to break myself of habit.

Admittedly I do miss looking at photos (I follow a lot of photographers and artists on IG and I love seeing their work!) and posting my own photos on IG though. I'll definitely get that back on my phone in time. FB I'm wondering if I'll even bother after this, honestly. 🤔
I've taken FB breaks at times as well. I think I did it for a month once. When I went back, I was surprised at how little I'd actually missed. Sure, there were a lot of status updates but really, they were pretty much the same types of updates every day. No monumental news, just mainly a bunch of people promoting themselves in one way or another. Made me wonder why I'd even gone back. I think one day I shall leave for good.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
What if she has dropped all the hints and now she is sat at home waiting for you to make a move...they do that I seem to remember

That would be the typical pattern, yes. Unfortunately women do not always follow this pattern. If it were not for aggressive pursuit I would likely have been a virgin to this day. I'm thinking just telling the truth might not be so bad if it becomes necessary. I'm just focusing on self-improvement and making money right now. Totally not personal.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I hate procrastinating on issues that I know will eventually cause me a problem, thus giving stress and anxiety and leave a hole in my wallet when problems become bigger and problematic.

Basically, I'm sitting on a few issues with the house that I know I have no idea of how to solve it or raise it to my dad and then my brother so for some reason I'm waiting to build up the courage to talk about them. Maybe when the ceiling comes down then that's when they will know..

I will at some point but I feel so down to think that at 34, when most people are able to handle their house maintenance and upkeep, that I don't have the foggiest idea about anything. And added to that the usual anxieties on top.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Apparently spider crickets are a thing and now the whole world can burn with them in it. 😱😨

Don't forget camel spiders! :D

 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Awww they're cute lil' guys :love:
No no no no no. They are the stuff of nightmares! Along with other spiders and centipedes and other creepy crawlies! 🤮

Came home from work early last night, but Mr. Phoenixx wasn't home yet as he had a very late day/night, so I went into our shop where our outdoor kitty stays just to check on her. I walked in, saw a monstrosity out of the corner of my eye and thought it was a wolf spider (which are equally as terrifying, but at least they have a decent purpose). Took a second glance and saw that abomination on the wall that was a spider cricket. I pretty much high-tailed it out of there like this:

 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
There's an art market downtown tomorrow I really want to go to. I'd have to go by myself and only for a couple hours since I have to work tomorrow afternoon. Of course my social anxiety is already kicking in at the thought of all the people I'm going to have to be surrounded by and navigate around with driving. :( I wish I could enjoy things by myself more. 😔
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I've been working home since Tuesday afternoon and I feel like I have had the most unproductive week.

Maybe when you're to-do-list isn't jam packed, you are more prone to switching off, lazying, web browsing and posting on forums.

I know there's probably something I could do yet I'm just in a meh sort of place mentally and physically.
 
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