Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

My boss is mean.

The next few weeks are really going to test my commitment to my academics. I won’t have a day off in a while :/

Sarah_M said: ↑

The next few weeks are really going to test my commitment to my academics. I won’t have a day off in a while :/

You can do it Sarah, you're stronger than you realize..

Than

PugofCrydee said: ↑

You can do it Sarah, you're stronger than you realize..

Thanks, Pug! Your support means a lot. I just have school Monday - Friday for 8 hours, I work 12 hour shifts on Saturday and Sunday, I am taking 2 additional online classes, and I have a gym requirement for one of my classes and need to be going at least 3 days/week. Thankfully some of the craziness ends on August 8th; just gotta keep swimming 🙂

Sarah_M said: ↑

Than

Thanks, Pug! Your support means a lot. I just have school Monday - Friday for 8 hours, I work 12 hour shifts on Saturday and Sunday, I am taking 2 additional online classes, and I have a gym requirement for one of my classes and need to be going at least 3 days/week. Thankfully some of the craziness ends on August 8th; just gotta keep swimming 🙂

You'll come out stronger by the end of it.

Hello, i'm struggling today.

SoScared said: ↑

Hello, i'm struggling today.

I feel you. Today is a rough one

I try hard to remain positive, to remember things aren't usually as bad as they seem. What I'd like to know is, what's controlling the part of my mind that wants to constantly review every bad mistake, every embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life!

I'm so drained by it all. By all, I mean sick and tired of the office environment where for some reason (it may have been because I was you know, trying to uphold standards for younger people of the team) I am not engaged with simply because I don't sit (not my choice) in the main area. When I come out to make conversation, only a few people take an interest whilst one individual shows the height of rudeness by barely looking up or not even acknowledging me to say good morning/how you're doing/good evening so I've made a decision not to engage with them. I'm sick of making conversation with people when they aren't keen to do so. I've started to look for other jobs because I'm tired of working in a team (it's not a team, a group of people look after their selected interests and tend to be unhelpful for others) and want to work in an adult environment. Not an unruly, classroom where others can behave rudely. It's not hard to be nice, is it? FFS

So I went out in the field with 2 people, collecting material from a rare plant for propagation. It went well I had a good day. My strategy of doing things I might have said no to is working. Being around people becomes easier and easier the more I get opportunities to practise.

I'm noticing a trend. Every weekday morning I feel like I'm about to enter Hell.

Once I settle down at work, the feelings largely subside, and only peak again in certain situations very briefly.

By the end of the day, I'm not sure what I was freaking out about in the morning.

Miserum said: ↑

I'm noticing a trend. Every weekday morning I feel like I'm about to enter Hell.

Once I settle down at work, the feelings largely subside, and only peak again in certain situations very briefly.

By the end of the day, I'm not sure what I was freaking out about in the morning.

Most day turn out not as bad as expected. Then the really bays descend from nowhere out of a clear blue sky.

Kiwong said: ↑

Most day turn out not as bad as expected. Then the really bays descend from nowhere out of a clear blue sky.

Today wasn't necessarily bad, but it was annoying. Tomorrow is Wednesday though, so I'm excited that it won't be Tuesday or Monday.

Lately, I feel like the things I say to make people feel comfortable around me, make them feel uncomfortable, or make them think "This guy is rude."

I've been feeling like no matter how hard I try to put on a real smile, the depression and anxiety show through.

I feel like people can see it. I feel like they are constantly thinking, "What is wrong with this dude?"

And indeed, what is wrong with this dude?

Went to a 2 day work love in.

I avoided some activities, like breaking into pairs with someone we don't know and talking about a day in our working life.
Eating at a long dinner table seating about 40 people, an absolute nightmare I stayed in my own room.
Splitting into cross team groups and discussing management process, I went to my room.
A trivia night, with 20 drunken souls. They kept me awake.

My boss was good about it, she even brought me some food to my room.

Many people would feel comfort in groups gathering and the noise of group conversation. I feel dread. To walk towards a dining table of 40 people, no way Jose.

People are never going to get why I do the things I do or why I'm interested in the things I'm interested in.

Ha! Fuck em!

Kiwong said: ↑

Went to a 2 day work love in.

I avoided some activities, like breaking into pairs with someone we don't know and talking about a day in our working life.
Eating at a long dinner table seating about 40 people, an absolute nightmare I stayed in my own room.
Splitting into cross team groups and discussing management process, I went to my room.
A trivia night, with 20 drunken souls. They kept me awake.

My boss was good about it, she even brought me some food to my room.

Many people would feel comfort in groups gathering and the noise of group conversation. I feel dread. To walk towards a dining table of 40 people, no way Jose.

Win some, lose some I guess. 😕

So, the one person at work who was creating bad vibes in an otherwise very pleasant office personally came to me to let me know he was quitting. He knows I avoid him and I guess it was noticeable how comfortable I was with everyone else (I'm not the only person in the company who kind of avoids him but I'm probably the only one who makes absolutely no effort to at least try to treat him normally, thanks to my anxiety). I don't know how to feel about that. I don't dislike the guy, I was actually getting used to his quirks, accepting his personality and realized he needed his space. It was almost as if he were saying, "You win, I'm leaving." I guess I do know how to feel about that. Guilty.