Change is good, right? Progress, improvement, making a positive difference in myself, my world, my life. Good stuff, yeah?
So why am I so afraid?
The prospect of change and having things to lose perhaps? That is in itself scary.
There's a certain steady footing to rock bottom. Though, it's quite important to take the risks anyway. Otherwise you just kinda sit there - eroded to be content in a situation one aught not to be content with.
I like to look at it as; what's the worst that can happen? Embarrassment? A social faux pas that sticks with you? We have those now, so why not take the risk.
I feel empty. In every aspect. Nothing gives me solace, not even in a month when there is a religious event on-going. Professionally and personally, just want to escape.
It's gone to the extent that on a week's holiday in a month's time, I'll be spending two days at "work" (basically disappearing for a day's outing doing nothing, besides thinking probably) because I can't handle being at home and the pressure of marriage and everything else. Tired of being watched and questioned on my relationship - do people not know I've been like this (reclusive, untalkative, uncommunicative) since 2011?
I feel empty. In every aspect. Nothing gives me solace, not even in a month when there is a religious event on-going. Professionally and personally, just want to escape.
It's gone to the extent that on a week's holiday in a month's time, I'll be spending two days at "work" (basically disappearing for a day's outing doing nothing, besides thinking probably) because I can't handle being at home and the pressure of marriage and everything else. Tired of being watched and questioned on my relationship - do people not know I've been like this (reclusive, untalkative, uncommunicative) since 2011?
Same here, except for marriage/relationship and work.
I'm actually tired of having to justify my reasons for being happy.
If I'm happy - there's something wrong with me. Depressed - again the same. I can't win! :kickingmyself:
Though, I've been reclusive, untalkative, uncommunicative for the past 10 years. My family don't seem interested in understanding why that is.
For some reason I cant be content anymore. Making it harder and harder to rest until Im to the point of passing out anyways. Im not even enjoying games right now. I cant really place my finger on whats missing at the moment. Maybe I should keep a journal so I can figure out my thoughts.
I don't understand this obsession people have with busyness.
I mean I like to do things but people wear busyness like a badge of honor.
Like it makes them a real person to live a stressed filled life and causing stress for those around them.
Too many people like this these days.
I don't understand this obsession people have with busyness.
I mean I like to do things but people wear busyness like a badge of honor.
Like it makes them a real person to live a stressed filled life and causing stress for those around them.
Too many people like this these days.
Ah know what ye mean. Though, I do like to try and be productive with ma time. But busy? Nah! Ah've always preferred doing one thing at a time, rather than asked to do a multitude of things one after another within a short space of time. Unless I'm busy doing something I enjoy, meaning I'm focused on that particular thing at that moment - like learning a song, or figuring something out. That's my idea of busy.
Being given a list of things to be done within 24 hours... F**k off! Not the greatest attitude to have towards school homework, but still... :bigsmile:
I don't understand this obsession people have with busyness.
I mean I like to do things but people wear busyness like a badge of honor.
Like it makes them a real person to live a stressed filled life and causing stress for those around them.
Too many people like this these days.
Thats because they know they're getting shafted by life and want to feel better about it lol.
Whenever I feel brave enough to feel like everything's going to be ok, IM going to be ok..... Life has a way of slapping me back down, and putting me in my place.
Hate myself for being so naive... Whenever ah think someone in ma family is trustworthy and honest, they treat me in a way that proves otherwise. But I can't even get them to give me a straight answer to simple question... :kickmyself:
I don't understand this obsession people have with busyness.
I mean I like to do things but people wear busyness like a badge of honor.
Like it makes them a real person to live a stressed filled life and causing stress for those around them.
Too many people like this these days.
I think it's more making them feel better about their lives knowing that "oh, look at me at how busy I am and your not" then they proceed to moan about being so busy..
I felt rubbish yesterday - incredibly stressed at work with an office move and thinking 'why is nobody else stressing like I am?' and was probably visibly annoyed when a colleague kept disturbing me with questions. But today they did help out so that's good. So much to do, but the pressure I feel is getting things wrong which impacts on others! And that feeling of "oh shit, he's not going trust or look at me in the same way again"
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