Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[Opaline]

I needed this post today.

The Calm Approach : zenhabits

Easier said than done, but all of his ideas are. They are still comforting and good things to strive for, I think.

 

[Odo]

Vandalizing a pro-life display approved by a college campus to a liberal is no less intolerant than than protesting in front of an abortion clinic is to a pro-choice person. You also mentioned homosexuality being compared to bestiality, is the view then that there is a problem with bestiality?

Actually, the vandalism is different because all it takes is one person who might not even be doing it for political reasons. It could have been someone who had already had an abortion and hated being guilted or attacked for it. But the anti-choice protests in front of the abortion clinics are huge groups of people organizing in one place and actively trying to force their views on people who are probably already conflicted and vulnerable.

And homosexuality is nothing like bestiality because all things being equal it involves informed consent, and bestiality does not... they're not even close to being the same thing.

 

[coyote]

We may think of a racist and think "he or she is so stupid and doesn't know what he or she is talking about, every word about race is wrong and needs to be corrected to the correct view." I'm sure they're not thinking how stupid they are and waiting for someone to explain to them why, they have a justification for it. Understanding that justification and trying to break it down is to me what seems the clearest way to change a thinking pattern.

or we could just hang all the racists

 

[vj288]

Actually, the vandalism is different because all it takes is one person who might not even be doing it for political reasons. It could have been someone who had already had an abortion and hated being guilted or attacked for it. But the anti-choice protests in front of the abortion clinics are huge groups of people organizing in one place and actively trying to force their views on people who are probably already conflicted and vulnerable.

And homosexuality is nothing like bestiality because all things being equal it involves informed consent, and bestiality does not... they're not even close to being the same thing.

Vandalism could also be a group of people in a huge group organizing it and trying to actively force their view on others, and protesting could be just one person acting on their own for non-political reasons. Maybe I don't understand the point you're making? It seems like either can be run by a big group or by individuals.

I wasn't saying homosexuality and bestiality are similar at all, I was just inferring it's something that isn't acceptable by some people's standards. It's that line that we draw - romantic and physical relationships can only be between certain types of people. We all have lines we draw and reasons for drawing them, and I'm not saying this is good or bad just observing it. Back in ancient Greece it was cool for grown men and young boys to have relations, while in the modern era it certainly is not. Pre-martial sex used to be huge no-no but now it's stigmatized in a lot of groups to not. I think it would be hard to find anyone in western cultures open to the idea of pedophilia.

I was just trying to emphasis the line-drawing, not compare homosexuality to bestiality. Being completely tolerant and accepting of all things is tricky and a little crazy. The line has to be drawn, and people draw it differently. I don't know the "right" place to draw it, or if there is anyone who does know.

 

[vj288]

I always feel after typing opinions of any sort that I sound extremely crazy.

 

[coyote]

I always feel after typing opinions of any sort that I sound extremely crazy.

join the club :thumbup:

 

[MikeyC]

*sigh*

Time to vent slightly.

Christmas is a hectic time for people, I can understand that. The malls are packed, it stretches the budget and the patience of many people. It can be stressful and panicky. However, does this mean that I should give people a break?

Let me tell you why I'm saying this. On December 14th - 10 full days ago - I was texting a friend of mine. I had sent her a Christmas card unbeknownst to her, so that when she got it, it was a nice surprise. She told me on that day that mine was already written up and ready to go but she has been "lazy." I thought, yeah, no worries, she'll send it. Well, we just got the mail today, and since it's Christmas Eve, there'll be no more mail until Friday. She didn't send it. She had over a week to do it and this is basically telling me that she thinks so little of me that she couldn't even send it. Or...am I overreacting?

Another example: that very same day, I was in Melbourne hand-delivering gifts to a couple of friends, plus a Christmas card to Fiona. One of those friends said he has a gift for me that he'll send through the post. Well, I didn't get it. It's still not here, assuming he actually has a gift and didn't just say that.

That very same day again, my grandmother died. I told a whole bunch of people about it, and that the funeral was on Wednesday. Out of everyone I told, Phoenixx from this very forum was the only person that asked me how the funeral went.

On Sunday night I went out and sacrificed my sleep to be social. I ended up having a good time with friends-of-a-friend. Once I got home I texted that friend saying "your friends are f*cking cool, man." No reply. Not even a thanks or a smile or anything. Come on, I'm paying a good compliment here. Reply with something. Make me feel like my opinions aren't trash.

Look, it's not that any of this is life-saving or super important, but these are some of the reasons I feel lonely. It's like nobody has any time for me or gives me any shred of importance. It also highlights the glaring unreliability of people's promises. I mean, over a week to send a Christmas card should be heaps of time. It should be, but apparently I'm not memorable. :sad:

Am I overreacting? Should I give all these people the benefit of the doubt? Am I justified to feel this way? These are the thoughts that get to me and make me doubt my own worth.

 

[Odo]

I always feel after typing opinions of any sort that I sound extremely crazy.

I wish that there were more of that kind of thing here, actually.
All of these tepid prescriptive posts are pretty impersonal.

I've always thought that Social Phobics crave community most of all, and you can't really have that without openly expressing your opinions.

 

[Silatuyok]

*sigh*

Time to vent slightly.

Christmas is a hectic time for people, I can understand that. The malls are packed, it stretches the budget and the patience of many people. It can be stressful and panicky. However, does this mean that I should give people a break?

Let me tell you why I'm saying this. On December 14th - 10 full days ago - I was texting a friend of mine. I had sent her a Christmas card unbeknownst to her, so that when she got it, it was a nice surprise. She told me on that day that mine was already written up and ready to go but she has been "lazy." I thought, yeah, no worries, she'll send it. Well, we just got the mail today, and since it's Christmas Eve, there'll be no more mail until Friday. She didn't send it. She had over a week to do it and this is basically telling me that she thinks so little of me that she couldn't even send it. Or...am I overreacting?

Another example: that very same day, I was in Melbourne hand-delivering gifts to a couple of friends, plus a Christmas card to Fiona. One of those friends said he has a gift for me that he'll send through the post. Well, I didn't get it. It's still not here, assuming he actually has a gift and didn't just say that.

That very same day again, my grandmother died. I told a whole bunch of people about it, and that the funeral was on Wednesday. Out of everyone I told, Phoenixx from this very forum was the only person that asked me how the funeral went.

On Sunday night I went out and sacrificed my sleep to be social. I ended up having a good time with friends-of-a-friend. Once I got home I texted that friend saying "your friends are f*cking cool, man." No reply. Not even a thanks or a smile or anything. Come on, I'm paying a good compliment here. Reply with something. Make me feel like my opinions aren't trash.

Look, it's not that any of this is life-saving or super important, but these are some of the reasons I feel lonely. It's like nobody has any time for me or gives me any shred of importance. It also highlights the glaring unreliability of people's promises. I mean, over a week to send a Christmas card should be heaps of time. It should be, but apparently I'm not memorable. :sad:

Am I overreacting? Should I give all these people the benefit of the doubt? Am I justified to feel this way? These are the thoughts that get to me and make me doubt my own worth.

Mikey, I certainly think you are justified, and these kinds of things get me down too. Unfortunately, most people find little significance in things like receiving cards and having people ask about their personal lives and getting complimented by friends. They take these things for granted. It's great that you don't. But in the same vein they are not going to think it's a big deal to you if they fail to do the same for you. They simply don't realize how important it is to you. If you complained about it to them they probably wouldn't understand what the big deal is. You are memorable and you are worthy of all the nice things that anybody could do for you. The fact that they are busy or forgetful or just downright lazy can't ever change that.

 

[Opaline]

*sigh*

Time to vent slightly.

Christmas is a hectic time for people, I can understand that. The malls are packed, it stretches the budget and the patience of many people. It can be stressful and panicky. However, does this mean that I should give people a break?

Let me tell you why I'm saying this. On December 14th - 10 full days ago - I was texting a friend of mine. I had sent her a Christmas card unbeknownst to her, so that when she got it, it was a nice surprise. She told me on that day that mine was already written up and ready to go but she has been "lazy." I thought, yeah, no worries, she'll send it. Well, we just got the mail today, and since it's Christmas Eve, there'll be no more mail until Friday. She didn't send it. She had over a week to do it and this is basically telling me that she thinks so little of me that she couldn't even send it. Or...am I overreacting?

Another example: that very same day, I was in Melbourne hand-delivering gifts to a couple of friends, plus a Christmas card to Fiona. One of those friends said he has a gift for me that he'll send through the post. Well, I didn't get it. It's still not here, assuming he actually has a gift and didn't just say that.

That very same day again, my grandmother died. I told a whole bunch of people about it, and that the funeral was on Wednesday. Out of everyone I told, Phoenixx from this very forum was the only person that asked me how the funeral went.

On Sunday night I went out and sacrificed my sleep to be social. I ended up having a good time with friends-of-a-friend. Once I got home I texted that friend saying "your friends are f*cking cool, man." No reply. Not even a thanks or a smile or anything. Come on, I'm paying a good compliment here. Reply with something. Make me feel like my opinions aren't trash.

Look, it's not that any of this is life-saving or super important, but these are some of the reasons I feel lonely. It's like nobody has any time for me or gives me any shred of importance. It also highlights the glaring unreliability of people's promises. I mean, over a week to send a Christmas card should be heaps of time. It should be, but apparently I'm not memorable. :sad:

Am I overreacting? Should I give all these people the benefit of the doubt? Am I justified to feel this way? These are the thoughts that get to me and make me doubt my own worth.

I don't think you are overreacting because as much as people pretend not to, they do notice the little things and are affected by them. I think it's only natural to feel the way you are feeling. I also know that people are sometimes seemingly careless and that they don't mean to be rude but they get caught up in other things. It's hard to know when they really don't care and when they do care but are acting careless, if you know what I mean.

I wish I had something better to say than that, but I do understand and I don't think you are overreacting. Not at all.

 

[MikeyC]

Mikey, I certainly think you are justified, and these kinds of things get me down too. Unfortunately, most people find little significance in things like receiving cards and having people ask about their personal lives and getting complimented by friends. They take these things for granted. It's great that you don't. But in the same vein they are not going to think it's a big deal to you if they fail to do the same for you. They simply don't realize how important it is to you. If you complained about it to them they probably wouldn't understand what the big deal is. You are memorable and you are worthy of all the nice things that anybody could do for you. The fact that they are busy or forgetful or just downright lazy can't ever change that.

Thank you for the compliments, Marie. That's very sweet. I just wish I could believe them!

The person I texted about his friends is a major extrovert. He loves people and he's doing really well in life, so there's a chance that he probably just brushed it off without really thinking about replying. You're right that if I complained, they wouldn't really understand, but that sort of proves my point: they still wouldn't even humour me by taking the ten seconds to reply.

I don't take stuff like that for granted. Thirteen years of depression and low self-esteem make sure I appreciate this stuff.

I don't think you are overreacting because as much as people pretend not to, they do notice the little things and are affected by them. I think it's only natural to feel the way you are feeling. I also know that people are sometimes seemingly careless and that they don't mean to be rude but they get caught up in other things. It's hard to know when they really don't care and when they do care but are acting careless, if you know what I mean.

I wish I had something better to say than that, but I do understand and I don't think you are overreacting. Not at all.

I do know what you mean, actually. If I contacted that girl about the card, she would saturate me with apologies, but the fact that I should have to do that at all kind of sucks. She's probably caught up with her boyfriend and her mother and Christmas and all that.... Gah. :sad:

Thanks for replying. That alone makes me feel better that two people have taken the time to read my vents.

 

[kihira]

I thought, yeah, no worries, she'll send it. Well, we just got the mail today, and since it's Christmas Eve, there'll be no more mail until Friday. She didn't send it. She had over a week to do it and this is basically telling me that she thinks so little of me that she couldn't even send it. Or...am I overreacting?

Australia Post are very unreliable lately, so it could be that they are to blame. Have a look at the complaints coming through on their facebook page, it's mostly problems with parcels, but some letters are taking forever to be delivered, too

 

[MikeyC]

Australia Post are very unreliable lately, so it could be that they are to blame. Have a look at the complaints coming through on their facebook page, it's mostly problems with parcels, but some letters are taking forever to be delivered, too

I understand they're overwhelmed this time of year, but I can't help but feel that it's this girl's laziness and indifference.

Australia Post are slow all times of the year, haha.

 

[jc972]

*sigh*

Time to vent slightly.

Christmas is a hectic time for people, I can understand that. The malls are packed, it stretches the budget and the patience of many people. It can be stressful and panicky. However, does this mean that I should give people a break?

Let me tell you why I'm saying this. On December 14th - 10 full days ago - I was texting a friend of mine. I had sent her a Christmas card unbeknownst to her, so that when she got it, it was a nice surprise. She told me on that day that mine was already written up and ready to go but she has been "lazy." I thought, yeah, no worries, she'll send it. Well, we just got the mail today, and since it's Christmas Eve, there'll be no more mail until Friday. She didn't send it. She had over a week to do it and this is basically telling me that she thinks so little of me that she couldn't even send it. Or...am I overreacting?

Another example: that very same day, I was in Melbourne hand-delivering gifts to a couple of friends, plus a Christmas card to Fiona. One of those friends said he has a gift for me that he'll send through the post. Well, I didn't get it. It's still not here, assuming he actually has a gift and didn't just say that.

That very same day again, my grandmother died. I told a whole bunch of people about it, and that the funeral was on Wednesday. Out of everyone I told, Phoenixx from this very forum was the only person that asked me how the funeral went.

On Sunday night I went out and sacrificed my sleep to be social. I ended up having a good time with friends-of-a-friend. Once I got home I texted that friend saying "your friends are f*cking cool, man." No reply. Not even a thanks or a smile or anything. Come on, I'm paying a good compliment here. Reply with something. Make me feel like my opinions aren't trash.

Look, it's not that any of this is life-saving or super important, but these are some of the reasons I feel lonely. It's like nobody has any time for me or gives me any shred of importance. It also highlights the glaring unreliability of people's promises. I mean, over a week to send a Christmas card should be heaps of time. It should be, but apparently I'm not memorable. :sad:

Am I overreacting? Should I give all these people the benefit of the doubt? Am I justified to feel this way? These are the thoughts that get to me and make me doubt my own worth.

I had no idea your grandmother died. I'm so sorry, Mikey. I know that mere words over the internet are impersonal and cold sounding I reckon but I'm sorry for your loss, dude.

 

[MikeyC]

I had no idea your grandmother died. I'm so sorry, Mikey. I know that mere words over the internet are impersonal and cold sounding I reckon but I'm sorry for your loss, dude.

Thank you, mate. :thumbup: It's all good. She was very sick and bedridden so her death is more of a sweet release than a sad passing.

 

[Kiwong]

I was going to say Merry Christmas, to Merry Christmas, but I see he has been banned.

 

[BlackPuma]

*sigh*

Time to vent slightly.

Christmas is a hectic time for people, I can understand that. The malls are packed, it stretches the budget and the patience of many people. It can be stressful and panicky. However, does this mean that I should give people a break?

Let me tell you why I'm saying this. On December 14th - 10 full days ago - I was texting a friend of mine. I had sent her a Christmas card unbeknownst to her, so that when she got it, it was a nice surprise. She told me on that day that mine was already written up and ready to go but she has been "lazy." I thought, yeah, no worries, she'll send it. Well, we just got the mail today, and since it's Christmas Eve, there'll be no more mail until Friday. She didn't send it. She had over a week to do it and this is basically telling me that she thinks so little of me that she couldn't even send it. Or...am I overreacting?

Another example: that very same day, I was in Melbourne hand-delivering gifts to a couple of friends, plus a Christmas card to Fiona. One of those friends said he has a gift for me that he'll send through the post. Well, I didn't get it. It's still not here, assuming he actually has a gift and didn't just say that.

That very same day again, my grandmother died. I told a whole bunch of people about it, and that the funeral was on Wednesday. Out of everyone I told, Phoenixx from this very forum was the only person that asked me how the funeral went.

On Sunday night I went out and sacrificed my sleep to be social. I ended up having a good time with friends-of-a-friend. Once I got home I texted that friend saying "your friends are f*cking cool, man." No reply. Not even a thanks or a smile or anything. Come on, I'm paying a good compliment here. Reply with something. Make me feel like my opinions aren't trash.

Look, it's not that any of this is life-saving or super important, but these are some of the reasons I feel lonely. It's like nobody has any time for me or gives me any shred of importance. It also highlights the glaring unreliability of people's promises. I mean, over a week to send a Christmas card should be heaps of time. It should be, but apparently I'm not memorable. :sad:

Am I overreacting? Should I give all these people the benefit of the doubt? Am I justified to feel this way? These are the thoughts that get to me and make me doubt my own worth.

You're not overreacting in my opinion.

Taking people for granted and not delivering on promises is disrespectful. If someone for any reason can't deliver on their promises - they could always call, e-mail or text you wishing you happy holidays. Being negligent and lacks is one thing, there's no reason to be rude.

This exact behaviour annoys me to death too - a little courtesy on occasion (and on 'occasions', hehe) can make a whole lot of difference.


On a side note; I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope she had a fulfilling life and a pleasant final few years.

 

[Phoenixx]

*sigh*

Time to vent slightly.

Christmas is a hectic time for people, I can understand that. The malls are packed, it stretches the budget and the patience of many people. It can be stressful and panicky. However, does this mean that I should give people a break?

Let me tell you why I'm saying this. On December 14th - 10 full days ago - I was texting a friend of mine. I had sent her a Christmas card unbeknownst to her, so that when she got it, it was a nice surprise. She told me on that day that mine was already written up and ready to go but she has been "lazy." I thought, yeah, no worries, she'll send it. Well, we just got the mail today, and since it's Christmas Eve, there'll be no more mail until Friday. She didn't send it. She had over a week to do it and this is basically telling me that she thinks so little of me that she couldn't even send it. Or...am I overreacting?

Another example: that very same day, I was in Melbourne hand-delivering gifts to a couple of friends, plus a Christmas card to Fiona. One of those friends said he has a gift for me that he'll send through the post. Well, I didn't get it. It's still not here, assuming he actually has a gift and didn't just say that.

That very same day again, my grandmother died. I told a whole bunch of people about it, and that the funeral was on Wednesday. Out of everyone I told, Phoenixx from this very forum was the only person that asked me how the funeral went.

On Sunday night I went out and sacrificed my sleep to be social. I ended up having a good time with friends-of-a-friend. Once I got home I texted that friend saying "your friends are f*cking cool, man." No reply. Not even a thanks or a smile or anything. Come on, I'm paying a good compliment here. Reply with something. Make me feel like my opinions aren't trash.

Look, it's not that any of this is life-saving or super important, but these are some of the reasons I feel lonely. It's like nobody has any time for me or gives me any shred of importance. It also highlights the glaring unreliability of people's promises. I mean, over a week to send a Christmas card should be heaps of time. It should be, but apparently I'm not memorable. :sad:

Am I overreacting? Should I give all these people the benefit of the doubt? Am I justified to feel this way? These are the thoughts that get to me and make me doubt my own worth.

^ I'm really sorry to hear this Mikey. I understand how you feel though and in no way do I think you're overreacting. Like others have said it is completely natural to feel what you do. I've had stuff like this happen in the past too, as I'm sure a lot of other people have, and I have felt the exact same. I always try and reply back to people's compliments/nice statements (a simple "thanks" usually does justice), because I really appreciate those things and I like the same done in return when I manage to compliment someone. That being said though, that doesn't apply to everyone. Marie said it well, some people really do just accept it and then brush it off because it's no big deal to them.

As for the whole card and gift things, post is very unreliable this time of year. Here too, which is exactly why I haven't sent out your letter/card yet either. Even if I sent it last week, I highly doubt it would've even gotten to you before the holidays. (Not to mention I've been a bit busy with other things too.) So hang in there buddy, I'm sure after the holidays you'll probably get something. At least from me anyway.

I hope this all hasn't completely soiled your holiday or anything. You deserve to have a great Christmas! :thumbup:

 

[jaim38]

I'm writing a story and I want it to pass the The Bechdel test:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test

 

[Silatuyok]

Just saw a funny post on my coworker's facebook page in which she has tagged all of her coworkers...except me! Harumph.