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Krista

Well-known member
Kustamogen said:
Yah Im used to it now unfortunately....ummmm back when I went further I had a bunch where I couldnt get home. Those were so horrible.....one time I had to pull over cuz I was hyperventilating so bad that my hands clenched shut, my arms clenched into my chest....and I literally couldnt open my car door to get out! and still feeling like I couldnt breathe in my car and just completely freaking out....it was scary as hell! took me almost 10min of prying my arm on my steering wheel to extend it out enough to get my door open. Another time I had to pull over and I opened the door and just collapsed in a parking lot and had an ambulance called on me.....that was one of my first bad bad ones.
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Aw :( Does your family know about this? I mean, support and understanding on the subject? I read about your girlfriend so I wasn't sure if that was something I could ask..
 
Kustamogen

Kustamogen

Banned
lol well....ex-gf! But yah the fam knows! Even told my grandma and others a few years ago so she wasnt upset with why I could never come visit......so yah theyre all very supportive....its good to have! hell if it wasnt for them Id probably be on the streets or something, or in some mental hospital haha

Theyre even helping me out to find a place of my own (lol in my same neighborhood...aka within like a 2min drive).....just so I can have some "independence"....even though it does feel a lil fake haha
 
K

Krista

Well-known member
Kustamogen said:
lol well....ex-gf! But yah the fam knows! Even told my grandma and others a few years ago so she wasnt upset with why I could never come visit......so yah theyre all very supportive....its good to have! hell if it wasnt for them Id probably be on the streets or something, or in some mental hospital haha

Theyre even helping me out to find a place of my own (lol in my same neighborhood...aka within like a 2min drive).....just so I can have some "independence"....even though it does feel a lil fake haha
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That's wonderful for you though. I'm sure it does now but hopefully down the road you'll be able to manage it better. And this is a great start for you, for someone who has such severe symptoms at times that's very brave of you. I'm deathly afraid of moving out sometimes, I commend you on taking the steps to do it though.
 
Kustamogen

Kustamogen

Banned
You can do it!!! if you have the means at least lol. I feel bad cuz with my disability $ I still need hundreds and hundreds more a month to pay for it all and they help (and no theyre not rich).....so I feel guilty......cuz I moved out last year to an apartment 2min away and they helped a lot then. *sigh*......but yah its nice to have your own space.....although more lonely haha
 
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Krista

Well-known member
Kustamogen said:
You can do it!!! if you have the means at least lol. I feel bad cuz with my disability $ I still need hundreds and hundreds more a month to pay for it all and they help (and no theyre not rich).....so I feel guilty......cuz I moved out last year to an apartment 2min away and they helped a lot then. *sigh*......but yah its nice to have your own space.....although more lonely haha
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I understand that, certainly. Caring parents are a wonderful thing to have but it feels awful knowing they're giving up a lot to help you. Takes time but you'll be able to help them back :) I'm not certain I could live by myself sometimes, the idea sounds very nice though. I have OCD compulsions...not so much a clean freak but a neat freak. Everything has a place and everything in its place, I feel awful for the guy who I'll be living with in the future, lol. I think you're making progress though, focus on getting out and then hopefully the rest will start falling into place for you.
 
Kustamogen

Kustamogen

Banned
lol I dont think I have OCD....but Im certainly anal about organization......my room/apartment my whole life has been spotless 24/7....I actually enjoy cleaning haha
 
Kustamogen

Kustamogen

Banned
frick cleaning for me is actually something I do when I start getting anxious....keeps me moving a bit to keep me breathing a lil easier and keeps me distracted lol....so I use it as a coping mechanism if my anxiety isnt too far outta hand! haha
 
DeathMetal

DeathMetal

Well-known member
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K

Krista

Well-known member
Kustamogen said:
frick cleaning for me is actually something I do when I start getting anxious....keeps me moving a bit to keep me breathing a lil easier and keeps me distracted lol....so I use it as a coping mechanism if my anxiety isnt too far outta hand! haha
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Agreed :) Anytime I'm pissed I have to turn up the music loud and clean. It's a great stress reliever compared to me punching someone in the face....not as productive.
 
S

shy.girl

Member
Yes, this is actually Howard's debut into stardom. He loves the attention. You can see in the photo he makes quite the overzealous debutante.
 
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