Post what you cannot say

I wish the world would implode.

I'm four months clean.

Fuck. Off.

Don't you just hate it when you get interested in a woman and she turns out to be a smoker. What a shame, make my excuses and go.

SoScared said: ↑

Don't you just hate it when you get interested in a woman and she turns out to be a smoker. What a shame, make my excuses and go.

Omg I know right!!

Smoking is a number one turn off for me. It's like kissing a fking ashtray. (not that I've ever kissed an ashtray..lol)

Can’t rely on you for anything. Excuses every-f__kin’-time. What ? Asking you to help me is too much, is it?
Oh, but you’ll f__kin’ come running when it yer daughters asking anything of ya, won’t ya? You’ll do anything for them.

Me? Am the f__kin’ afterthought. The yin you claim to get along with better. Yet, am an arsehole when ah point how you treated me differently to my sisters. What...? So, am just supposed to tolerate how am treated, is that it?

I wish I was doing something fun tonight.

Thanks lily. 🙂😉👍

“Why ye being like this? Stop it !!”

See instead of asking yer kids to justify their bad behaviour and shouting at them for it, d’ye no think ye might want to take a different approach? Just saying... y’know they’re not old enough to give you that kinda explanation you want to hear, right? Though they are talking back and being misbehaving wee $h!tes already, so... the school years should be fun. 😂 And the teenager will hilarious... well not for you, but the rest o’ us.

Also, tae f__k with the f__kin’ what makes ‘em tick approach, when they misbehave or do something they shouldn’t get them telt off ! 😠 The more worrying question ya should be asking is, why yer kids tend to listen to me more than you? 😐

Get out and dont come back you annoying bloody scab 😠😠😠

Awww.... fuck off ! You cannae cope ?! How tha fuck d’ye think we’ve felt for the last 3 fuckin’ years !?

Aw, that’s right, you’re incapable o’ actually comprehending how everyone else feels. It’s aw aboot you, innit? Remember when you hus’nae the nerve to call me overly dramatic for saying ah feel like killing masel’, huvin tae pit up wae you lot ! D’ye ken what it’s like having to live with this family. There a reason why ah don’t hide ma utter contempt fur you lot.

Single mothers make great parents d’they ? Ha ! Aye, right ! Am no seeing much evidence to backup that claim.

Ah think I’ll move to London. Though, I’d be moving solely in the hope some youth, some f__kin’ wannabe grime music artist stabs me. But then that’d likely back fire on me as soon as start a confrontation and they hear me shouting in ma Scotch accent, taunting them. “Mon then pal... f__kin’ chib me ! Go fur the heid !”

Guess ye could say ah just want this troubled, tormented life to end. 😢 I haven’t been happy for a long time, so bother prolonging the misery ? Few joys in life. Ah hate the folk I’m obligated to be around. Hate maself.

Ah don’t think ah wus ever meant to be happy... dinnae think that wus the goal for ma life from day one.

Making other folk happy seems to be my purpose in life. No wonder am so miserable.

You'd notice, you say? I don't believe you. Are you God now, that you should see every fallen sparrow? Has your conceit become so great? You promised me the moon last year, and I paid you well for it, but here I am still sitting in the dark. Put your begging bowl away, and with it your false hope and empty promises. You'll not get another donation out of me—not one dime!—until I see results.

But still, I want to believe. I want to hope you will notice. I want you to notice, and learn, and understand, and carry the guilt like a millstone for the rest of your days. But you won't. No one will, not anyone who should.

Always, always, always, got to get things your way, don’t ya? Yer never fuckin’ happy otherwise.

Aye, Dad wus exactly tha fuckin’ same. The “Do as I say or else...” mentality. Except you’re worse cuz you resort to that emotional manipulative bull$h!%. But that’s hardly as surprising, cuz yer a wummin.

Yet, the mere fuckin’ suggestion from me to something and ya start an argument. Always with me, every time. Even the simplest suggestion. Aw families are the same, are they...? So, they’re aw talkin’ $h!%* about each other on Facebook. Och, ah’ll actually give ya that, yer no exactly wrong on that yin ! Cannae really yer a 100% wrong. Does every family have a parent who overreacts to be asked a simple question as well ? Cuz you do that a lot... and I’m fuckin’ sick o’ it !

I’m the good brother, son, etc. Aye, now ya say that ! But, ye were singing a different tune 16 years ago. Then ah dis worthless, a b@$%@rd, useless and so and so... Nay point saying sorry now, the damage is done. Funny how despite aw that, ah still treat you better you did me during that time. Guess that says mair aboot me than you, eh?

You know a conversation? It can be two way ya know. It doesn't always have to be me initiating how your weekend/holiday was, how did this event go etc. You - yes, you - can start up a conversation even though I'm ten years away in a nearby office. Try it, it's nice. I'll appreciate it but you know you all, I'm not going to show my face to people who don't want to engage. If that alienates me even more to the office, then so be it. Tired of trying to be conversationalist with people who either don't want to, or can't be bothered to do the same in return.

“Oh, ye dinnae understand... ye don’t know what it’s like”
“Yous don’t give a $h!%... none o’ ye”

Y’know summit: I am getting really fed up hearing you f__kin’ say that. Day in, day oot, it’s the same ol’ self-pitying pish fae you. It’s almost like you cannae move on n’ get on with yer life. Also, if we dinnae give a f__k, d’ye think we would help you raise yer kids? 😠 Nae need to thanks us, eh? No ! Why would ye, anyway? We do nuthin’ remember.

I just want to be left alone to sleep for weeks on end

I wish I could get swap my anxiety, unassertiveness, lack of confidence that affects me. You take one step forward, and two steps back and it will take an eternity to take those two steps again.

Why is it you have to make everything about you...?

Then ya f__kin’ contradict that by saying it’s not, when it clearly f…kin’ is !

Always about you, innit?Me moving out, it’s not what you want... Weird how what I want never f…kin’ factors intae the equation, eh? Does what I want no matter, like? Just... tae f__k with the notion o’ an independent life, huh ?

Um ah just no supposed tae huv a life...? Cuz tae be fair, you succeeded in that respect. Just look at my sisters and their lives compared to mine. Disabled. High school dropout. Carer. Inept. Deeply insecure.

But I’m the privileged one !? Ha, aye right ! If that were true, then how come I’m not an egotistical, self-centred arsehole?