Post what you cannot say

jinxed said: ↑

I cannot say what I cannot say.:bigsmile:

I can (usually) write what i cannot say :thumbup:

I miss you, Caleb. A stupid geek.

But I cant just meet you.

I’d better stay alone.

Sometimes I hate you for dying.
Im sorry.

Your treatment of our mother for the past 5 months has been appalling. :thumbdown:
And here's a reality check for ye - she priorities you over me. So, next you accuse her of doing eff all, you do well to remember that.

And, what good is reading this book when yer attitude is utter shite?

Is Pokemans GO still a thing? Or did all the rare teletubbies get caught by now?

The WiFi at my restaurant sucks. It's practically non-existent. We don't get Spurs games on TV either so that's one other thing our customers hate...and why are we constantly running out of things??

Hot_Tamale said: ↑

Is Pokemans GO still a thing? Or did all the rare teletubbies get caught by now?

I thought teletubbies are only for babies/toddlers? lol

theslowesthand said: ↑

I thought teletubbies are only for babies/toddlers? lol

Now that I think of it it sounds like I was calling Pokemon GO players childish. That was not my intention, lol.

What now then?! Where d'we go from here? You've said sorry. And...? Now what?
Is that word supposed to suddenly just make everything you put me through irrelevant cuz it's in the past? Sadly, it ain't for me. I've got a constant reminder of the side of you which you are always quick to deny exists... The scar on the back of my left hand.

Yet, not once did I lay a finger on you. Never! Aye, ah threatened ye - only in the hope you'd see the wrong in hurting me. But nope! Apparently the rules don't apply to you, being a woman. :thumbdown:

If you didn't want me leaving as a last resort to save what's left of my health, why didn't you treat me better? That wus all I wus asking for. Ah did everything ever asked of me, helped when asked. But you never once offered to help me when I asked for it. In a way, you made this move inevitable by telling me I needed you, and me proving otherwise.

Oh, and feeling sorry for yourself because your life isn't what you expected it to be doesn't get you anywhere in life.

Never gonnae learn, are ye? Ya always make it about you, eh? Always the bloody victim, always this negative attitude. Yer more dour, dreary n' depressing than a f*ckin' Scottish summer.

Nay time for self reflection unless yer lookin' in tha mirror, of course. And you huv the nerve to say ah don't care? Though, yer right... except, ah just don't care about you! Y'see the difference is, unlike you, the rest o' this family actually appreciate when ah do summit for them. You? You question everything, cuz doing something just to show a bit kindness... Naw! Cannae huv that now, can we? Not these days. There's got to a reason, isn't there? Always an ulterior motive.

It amazes me how you still don't get why I rarely say more than 2 words to you, let alone full sentences. Though, mum wus right, we're afraid to speak to you. Why? Well... it's kinda difficult talk to someone who's short temper can cause more devastation than drone strike.

But hey it's everyone else who's wrong, amirite? Everyone else's problems are trivial compared to the struggles of you being a single mother? It's not like we were raised by one, ourselves, were we sis?!

Really...?! Yer playing the "Don't leave me or else I'll kill myself" trope? F*ckin endless you are! Pathetic, even. D'ye think yer life is a f*ckin' Shakespeare play where the lovers die by their hand in the end? D'you just not want me to be happy, is that it? If so, yer succeeding to the point I rather take my own, just outta spite for the crap you put me through.

And eh, last time I checked, I'm yer son. Not yer surrogate husband, despite looking just like my dad. So, either, let me get on my life alone. Or make it easier for me, and end yours. Cuz you've been nothing but a burden to me these past 10 years of my adult life.

I can't let go of the anger of those around me in the weeks after my father died. The break down I had in July that year and the anger continued.

I am frightened that I have lost control but on the other hand I just don't care anymore.

SaltyFig said: ↑

I am frightened that I have lost control but on the other hand I just don't care anymore.

Me too. :sad:

I'd prefer to live in a fantasy world over this real one.

I really would.

PugofCrydee said: ↑

I'd prefer to live in a fantasy world over this real one.

I really would.

I'm with ya on that one, Pug. :thumbup:

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Me too. :sad:

Do you think it's possible to just throw ones self into it all and hope to swim rather than sink? Like, wtf, bring it on Titanic arms, spray in face type of let the chaos ensue, what's the worst that can happen kind of a thing? Maybe it would lead to permanent trauma or jail or something though :thinking:

Edit: I just remembered it's called 'exposure therapy'?

SaltyFig said: ↑

Do you think it's possible to just throw ones self into it all and hope to swim rather than sink? Like, wtf, bring it on Titanic arms, spray in face type of let the chaos ensue, what's the worst that can happen kind of a thing? Maybe it would lead to permanent trauma or jail or something though :thinking:

Edit: I just remembered it's called 'exposure therapy'?

Well, if you talking about being social and overcoming fear, then yeah. But if it's anything like my dysfunctional family situation, then it's the "F*ck it! Bring on the chaos, don't care anymore" mentality. :thumbdown:

PugofCrydee said: ↑

I'd prefer to live in a fantasy world over this real one.

I really would.

I've seen on other forums before where users start a kind of "RPG" (role playing game). Forum members select their own character from a genre of video game or movie/TV show and start interacting with other "characters" in the thread. So it's like a never ending story. I've thought of starting something like that on SPW but I never got the courage.

Hot_Tamale said: ↑

I've seen on other forums before where users start a kind of "RPG" (role playing game). Forum members select their own character from a genre of video game or movie/TV show and start interacting with other "characters" in the thread. So it's like a never ending story. I've thought of starting something like that on SPW but I never got the courage.

That sounds really interesting Tamale! I'd be keen to at least join in and give it a go. Do you have any ideas as in the setting, time etc?