I was quite a good surfer in my mid to late teenage years, receiving free boards and wetsuits in exchange for competing at a state level. Again, my anxiety and BDD grew so strong that I withdrew from competeing and dropped out from the social side of the sport completely. I would surf, but always by myself and I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone apart from say the occassional 'Hi'. I think a lot of people thought I was an arrogant punk, but I think some people may have suspected that I had issues with avoidant behaviour and SA. I think others thought I had lost my mind. I saw someone from my past who I used to surf with many years ago last year. I felt really sad for days afterwards...how something that I enjoyed so much and shared some great times with my then friends could become such an escape for me...always alone in the water.....for literally thousands of hours over the years. I surfed to keep sane....but at times the surf kept me from doing the things that I could have been doing, like learning to overcome my avoidant behaviours and fear of people. I last surfed on November 26 last year. I caught 2 waves that in my darker moments I try and remember the incredible high and excitement that those waves gave me.
I have an intense fear of panda bears, which results in me occasionally having nightmares about being trapped in a room full of panda bears that try to dance with me.
Oh Well my Spanish teacher thought( I think she still does ) I had some type of desire to kill people after reading a diary we had to write for Spanish. I wrote about John Wayne Gacy, guess I used too much detail and I also said I would love to have a painting of his. I was sent to counseling the next day. I just find killers intriguing.
Oh Well my Spanish teacher thought( I think she still does ) I had some type of desire to kill people after reading a diary we had to write for Spanish. I wrote about John Wayne Gacy, guess I used too much detail and I also said I would love to have a painting of his. I was sent to counseling the next day. I just find killers intriguing.