one comment which has affected your confidence
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Reholla
Well-known member
"you cant go off good looks forever"
this implies A LOT-- first it implies i am vain/conceited and only care about looks.
2. it, more importantly, implies i have a bad personality.
i would seriously rather some one tell me something bad about the way i look over my personality any day... for some reason i take insults about my personality, well, personally...
but to make it worse, this was coming from a family member who has known me all my life. I think his "rationale" for saying this is to inform me my so-called reasons for not having a bf. its such a load of crap.
first of all, ive had other family members tell me i have a good personality. they could just be being nice...but that stupid a hole who said that other comment could just be being mean..
anyway, if anything i am just ANGRY/ pissed off he thinks this about me, and would have the nerve to say it. I know its not true but it still makes me PO'd that he supposedly believes it- you know?
this implies A LOT-- first it implies i am vain/conceited and only care about looks.
2. it, more importantly, implies i have a bad personality.
i would seriously rather some one tell me something bad about the way i look over my personality any day... for some reason i take insults about my personality, well, personally...
but to make it worse, this was coming from a family member who has known me all my life. I think his "rationale" for saying this is to inform me my so-called reasons for not having a bf. its such a load of crap.
first of all, ive had other family members tell me i have a good personality. they could just be being nice...but that stupid a hole who said that other comment could just be being mean..
anyway, if anything i am just ANGRY/ pissed off he thinks this about me, and would have the nerve to say it. I know its not true but it still makes me PO'd that he supposedly believes it- you know?
hulkamaniak
Active member
*when my cousins from overseas came to visit, they were about 12 and 13 at the time*
I was shy and anxious and could barely speak to them, i did a little bit but i couldnt heaps.
I was lying on the couch with my eyes closed, my brother and 2 cousins were in the room and they must of thought i was asleep. One of the cousins said
"I hate your brother, I wish he was dead"
My brother said something to stick up for me, like "dont say that"
But the initial comment killed me . . i never thought about it until now, but that was about 5 years ago so i guess it must of got to me
I was shy and anxious and could barely speak to them, i did a little bit but i couldnt heaps.
I was lying on the couch with my eyes closed, my brother and 2 cousins were in the room and they must of thought i was asleep. One of the cousins said
"I hate your brother, I wish he was dead"
My brother said something to stick up for me, like "dont say that"
But the initial comment killed me . . i never thought about it until now, but that was about 5 years ago so i guess it must of got to me
dpr
Well-known member
Persos said:
seriously, change therapists. do it now.
i am amazed at how many downright BAD psychologists/psychiatrists there are out there. insensitive, cold, apathetic, un-empathetic (is that a word?)... it makes you wonder how people like that would even want to get into psychology in the first place?
i have been through more therapists than I can count (way more than 10) and they all sucked, but I finally found a good one. the same thing with my mom, she had to go through a bunch of idiots before she found a good one.
i've had one therapist offer this advice for my OCD/intrusive thoughts: "go for a walk" and "try to block out your thoughts"
another therapist, when I told him I have reoccuring nightmares and intrusive thoughts about my girlfriend dying, compared my relationship with my girlfriend to the relationship between himself and his desk.
he was like, "I love my desk. I use it to do work. But if I had to get rid of it, I would still be able to work."
And I was like, "Yeah, but my girlfriend's not a desk."
Seriously, he was a straight-up, braindead idiot!
So if I were you, I would change therapists and don't be afraid to keep changing therapists until you feel comfortable with the person and are satisfied that they understand you and are compassionate.
limetree
Well-known member
"You're so inarticulate, you can't expect me to know what you're saying? Explain it properly."
"You're boring/abnormally quiet"
English teacher in front of class: "Stop being so nervy"
Parents: "You don't love anyone, you lack caring, warmth and compassion"
*laughs* "You don't know anything"
Some indescribably sad injustices in this post )':
I don't view this topic as an excuse for self-pity but the perfect reminder that having gone through what we have, we can preserve some sensitivity in the world... they taught/reinforced us to be considerate and affirming of each other hopefully.
No one can touch our core selves.
"You're boring/abnormally quiet"
English teacher in front of class: "Stop being so nervy"
Parents: "You don't love anyone, you lack caring, warmth and compassion"
*laughs* "You don't know anything"
Some indescribably sad injustices in this post )':
I don't view this topic as an excuse for self-pity but the perfect reminder that having gone through what we have, we can preserve some sensitivity in the world... they taught/reinforced us to be considerate and affirming of each other hopefully.
No one can touch our core selves.
weak
Well-known member
Ok this is the single most humiliating experience of my life.
So when I was 13 I went to a friends birthday party at a bowling alley. He invited 2 girls from another school that I had never met before. They were constantly staring at me through out the day and whispering stuff to each other as they looked in my direction. At the time I didnt know what to make of it..
Now fast forward 7 years later: I'm hanging out with the same kid who had the birthday party at the bowling alley. We're back in our hometown and he said he wanted to pick up 2 girls he used to be friends with in middle school. He made it out like this would sorta be a double date. Anyway it turns out they were the 2 girls from the party, but I didn't recognize them and they didn't recognize me.
So we're in the car on our way to the beach. The 2 girls and my friend immediately start reminiscing. One of the girls says "omg remember your 13th birthday party???". Then the other girl chimes in "omg yeah! Remember your friend Ben lol??? The one with long hair... We spent the whole day checking him out. We thought he was so hot from the side but when we finally saw his full face he was hideous LOL!!!!!"
At this point I still have yet to make the connection and neither have they. My friend, who thinks the whole thing is hilarious, takes it upon himself to point out the guy they're bashing is sitting right in front of them. So my friend points his finger to my face and says "you're talking to him!"
All 3 of them pretty much explode into laughter which goes on seriously for 5 solid minutes. Everytime they start to calm down, it would get quiet and they would start laughing again.
They dont attempt to control themselves, they dont apologize. All I get is a "well let us see your face now" and after being persistently bugged about it, I turn around and face them - to which they laughingly say "well........... uh your face isnt that bad now".
Needless to say the next 4 hours of that night were rather uncomfortable.
So when I was 13 I went to a friends birthday party at a bowling alley. He invited 2 girls from another school that I had never met before. They were constantly staring at me through out the day and whispering stuff to each other as they looked in my direction. At the time I didnt know what to make of it..
Now fast forward 7 years later: I'm hanging out with the same kid who had the birthday party at the bowling alley. We're back in our hometown and he said he wanted to pick up 2 girls he used to be friends with in middle school. He made it out like this would sorta be a double date. Anyway it turns out they were the 2 girls from the party, but I didn't recognize them and they didn't recognize me.
So we're in the car on our way to the beach. The 2 girls and my friend immediately start reminiscing. One of the girls says "omg remember your 13th birthday party???". Then the other girl chimes in "omg yeah! Remember your friend Ben lol??? The one with long hair... We spent the whole day checking him out. We thought he was so hot from the side but when we finally saw his full face he was hideous LOL!!!!!"
At this point I still have yet to make the connection and neither have they. My friend, who thinks the whole thing is hilarious, takes it upon himself to point out the guy they're bashing is sitting right in front of them. So my friend points his finger to my face and says "you're talking to him!"
All 3 of them pretty much explode into laughter which goes on seriously for 5 solid minutes. Everytime they start to calm down, it would get quiet and they would start laughing again.
They dont attempt to control themselves, they dont apologize. All I get is a "well let us see your face now" and after being persistently bugged about it, I turn around and face them - to which they laughingly say "well........... uh your face isnt that bad now".
Needless to say the next 4 hours of that night were rather uncomfortable.
DeadtotheworlD
Member
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Argamemnon
Well-known member
Maybe I should be more careful when debating with you next timekrs2snow said:
jayo
Well-known member
Look guys bad things get said to people everyday!
We need to thicken our skin to a lot of this abuse.
We get more of this abuse because we give the impression that we are used to taking it without responding.
This is all we need to change - let these people know that they can't mess with us and you won't hear as much of this again!
We need to thicken our skin to a lot of this abuse.
We get more of this abuse because we give the impression that we are used to taking it without responding.
This is all we need to change - let these people know that they can't mess with us and you won't hear as much of this again!