Oh, f**k me! Whit a way tae spend yer 28th birthday.
Spendin' the morning of that day, in a f**kin' community hospital in Lochmaben with one of yer physiotherapy team. Minaj, the Indian fella, who ah found oot lives in Dumfries, which isnae far from either Lockerbie or Lochmaben. Anyway, he is actually the mair clued up o' the three, so ah should probably stop cruelly referring tae them as the
"The Three Stooges".
Oh! The other two huv'nae got a clue, yin o' them is a dour-sounding wummin called Lorraine. Who, ma sister noticed, only has one leg. The other yin, Erin, talks exactly like ma other sister - y'know the more tempermental sibling who'll argue aboot trival things? Ah've mention her on her afore.
Anyway, it's made aw the worse by the fact ah've still got this bloody chest infection. And ah got waken up at 8 o'clock this morning for ma gym workoot at half past nine.
Oh, and me an ma sister were'nae too chuffed when we showed up tae the hospital to be greeted by yin o' the cleaning stay, who said,
"There's naebuddy here", upon hearing we hud an appointment this morning.
Well, we let in an telt tae wait and we are ragin'. Ma sister in particular.
"Oh, Amanda'll be hearin' aboot this fae us when we see her at yer next appointment. Ah've seen such a shower o' incompetents in ma life when comes tae physiotherapists" Ah just agree with an
"Aye, ah'll be complainin' aboot this. Don't you worry". Not wantin' tae vent an swear. Even though, we both felt like it.
Then this nurse who workin' on the wards comes to see us. This patronisin' auld mare, who not only misspells ma first name but ma surname anaw.
h:
She goes
"Did yous book the appointment?" Then we hud tae explain this wus arrange with ma physio team a week ago. But we copped on tae how she wus tryin' place the blame on us. So, she f**ks off, then comes back to inform us Lorraine's just arrived in... at twenty to ten. 10 minutes later than scheduled for our appointment. And it's turns oot Minaj wus in the hospital the whole time, just not in the physiotherapy clinic.
Anyway, the blonde bombshite, Lorraine wanders in to open the physiotherapy clinic/gym. And ma sister asked her an open question: "Our appointment wus half nine, aye?" expecting to get an apology in return. But naw, Lorraine doesnae say:
"Hiya, sorry tae huv kept ye waiting" As most doctors or medical stuff huv the courtesy of doing in these situation.
Naw, instead dour, slow-talkin' Lorraine confirms whit ma sister already knew, with an
"Aye, aye it wus...". A few minutes later Minaj comes throw the doors and leads us to the physiotherapy clinic. Ma sister comes along, after so discuss as to whether she should or not. Ah left it to her to decide, sayin' it wus up to her. Oh, just wee aside here, we (me and ma sister) were telt last week that there wus gonnae be 2 physiotherapist doing the clinic, but it wus just Minaj. Not that am complainin' aboot that...
Anyway, so we get intae the room, a zimmer frame get brung in. And we get doon tae business for the next half an hour. A couple of times up and down the parallel bars, with me barely puttin' any of ma weight through the bar. See ah stand for a few moments tryin' to be ma posture straight and pushin' ma right heel down as far as ah cun get it.
Then comes the part ah've been dreading - the crutches. As ah wus really not confident enough tae feel ah could keep ma balance on them. As well as being unsure as tae how ah should manoeuvre with, due to being more used to using them in sync with each leg. As opposed to puttin' both crutches forth then stepping through.
But it aw went well. Oh, and I got up and down this rather steep set of stairs, just like 5 steps. Which wus kinda difficult coming down, as it wus hard to gauge where ma foot wus going to land, having to lead with ma currently weaker right leg walking down the stairs.
Ah did well, wus - as ye cun imagine - totally knackered an short of breath by the end of it. But, aye - that's no bad fur somebuddy's first attempt at using crutches and climbing a set of stairs, considering ah've hud a really bad chest infection for a week. Looks like am makin' mair progress in ma post-surgery recovery than ah initially thought
Anyway, there's a wee update fur yous lot.
