Och aye the noo

[Graeme1988]

Well... Some good news, ma oldest sister phoned up the physiotherapists an complained aboot tha lack uh physical therapy, mentioning that ah agree. Which ah do. Cuz ah ranted aboot it tae ma sister just this past Monday.

Anyway, apparently, this right dour-voiced bitch Lorraine, asked the phone.

"Ah know, it's no acceptable. Hus he got his splints yet?" h: Eh, well naw, ah just got measured for them this week, to get a pair o' right-fittin' shoes. How glakit, gormless an stoopid can ye get, like? mg:

And the thing is. they sent somebuddy oot tae see me the day, while ah wus in the hoose masel'. D'they no even realise how limited ma mobility still is? Buckin' great job there, eh? Talk aboot dumb c*nts. :veryangry:

Ah mean, ah've only just got ma cast off 3 weeks ago. Nevermind that, up until Feb 25th, ah hud'nae even pit any weight through ma right leg for 7 weeks. Am practically huvin to learn how 'ae walk again. And these incompetent dafties are expectin' me to be up an dancin'...

But, at least, that's them telt... Hopefully they get their finger oot an dae their f***in' job!

 

[defiance]

Well... Some good news, ma oldest sister phoned up the physiotherapists an complained aboot tha lack uh physical therapy, mentioning that ah agree. Which ah do. Cuz ah ranted aboot it tae ma sister just this past Monday.

Anyway, apparently, this right dour-voiced bitch Lorraine, asked the phone.

"Ah know, it's no acceptable. Hus he got his splints yet?" h: Eh, well naw, ah just got measured for them this week, to get a pair o' right-fittin' shoes. How glakit, gromless an stoopid can ye get, like? mg:

And the thing is. they sent somebuddy oot tae see me the day, while ah wus in the hoose masel'. D'they no even realise how limited ma mobility still is? Buckin' great job there, eh? Talk aboot dumb c*nts. :veryangry:

Ah mean, ah've only just got ma cast off 3 weeks ago. Nevermind that, up until Feb 25th, ah hud'nae even pit any weight through ma right leg for 7 weeks. Am practically huvin to learn how 'ae walk again. And these incompetent dafties are expectin' me to be up an dancin'...

But, at least, that's them telt... Hopefully they get their finger oot an dae their f***in' job!

Sorry that you are dealing with such morons. It seems like they will give anyone a job these days.

 

[Graeme1988]

Sorry that you are dealing with such morons. It seems like they will give anyone a job these days.

Dinnae feel sorry fur me, if anythin', ah got asked even dumber question just days afore ah wus discharged fae hospital, and it wus regardin' how ah wus gettin' hame from the hospital. Though, if ye must, do so outta frustration more than pity.

 

[Graeme1988]

Well... That's me back from hell on earth. Only kiddin', ah wus in Carlisle. :bigsmile: Which is a city in the North of England, no far from the Scottish Borders.

And summit really weird happen, right? My oldest sister and I went to see fellow Scot, and all round funny c*nt, Frankie Boyle, again. Doing his usual dark, brutal and satirical style of stand-up comedy. Perfect if yer cynicial, pessimistic or Scottish.

Anyway, ah met another of ma sister work collegues, Amanda. Whom ma sister telt me aboot previously in passin' when tell how Amanda's husband feels self-conscious about himself when he go ootside as well, on account of him only huvin yin leg and a prosthetic limb. Apparently, that's ma sister idea of no lettin' yer disability get in the way of livin' life. Dinnae get me wrong, here ah love hear aboot folk who huv'nae let their disability become a burden, or those triumph over adversity stories. Ah just think ma sister could've pick a better example.

Anyhow, ah just said quick "Hullo" and gave a wee nod to Amanda and her man, since they were both sittin' directly behind in the first row of tiered seats. And ah couldnae be arsed, craining ma neck or leanin' roon the back o' ma wheelchair to yap with somebuddy ah'd only just met for the first time. Sorry, ah much prefer if the person's either in front of, or beside me.

So, this where things start to get weird...

Ye see, during the interval after the opening comedienne, ah go to the toilet for a pish. And while waitin' on me, my sister gets talkin' to this other wheelchair user, who has cerebal palsy like me. But just a wee bit more worse than me, in that it affects his speech more obviously than my CP does with me. My cerebral palsy just gave me a stutter and inability to say big words, correctly. Though, could be down to being raised by a parent with a poor educational background?

But ah digress... The lad's name is Dylan, and he's originally from South Ayrshire but live not far from Carlisle. Basically, am a wee bit further north of Carlisle in term of where ah live, Dylan's further south. And just a few minutes before Frankie takes to the stage, Dylan leans over to me asks if ah wus much of a sports fan and if ah like to come and huv a tryout for the wheelchair basketball team... in Carlisle.

Now, nuthin' against wheelchair basketball or Carlisle. It's just that.... Ah huv'nae play wheelchair basket afore in ma f**in' life, even though am stout fella. Nor am I great meeting new people or makin' a great first impression. What with my nervousness at speaking in social situation for fear of being mocked or expressing an opinion that might be seen a wrong. And ma Mum instilling in me an irration fear and mistrust of people, in general.

Also, ah wus never really intae sports when ah wus younger. Neither from a competive or fanatically devoted supporter point of view. Ah only used supported Glaswegian fitbaw team Rangers to piss off ma oldest sister, who is an Aberdeen supporter. And, apparently, that's incurable. Now, ah just support ma local football team. But ah didnae really pick sides when comes to football or any other sporting event. Unless it's tennis, and Andy Murray is playin'...

Anyway, me and Dylan huv exchanged phone numbers and want to know if ah'd be free this Saturday for the tryout. Sadly, ah went with "I'll call ya and let ye know" line because ah didnae want to commit without thinking about it, but didnae want to appear c*nty by refusing the offer. Ah worry whit that says aboot ma personality? :idontknow: mg: It's bad, innit?

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah, stuttering... The joys of huvin other folk talk for ya. And those same folk tellin' ye tae shut up when ye talk for yerself. :kickingmyself:

As if being physically disabled wus'nae bad enough fur me, people now huv the assumption that am slow in tha heid. :sad:

 

[Graeme1988]

i think that the act of being happy and fulfilled is a fallacy. We are only ever in the pursuit of happiness.

I have spent many nights thinking about this, and wondering why I feel so empty and sad. But I have come to realize that I'm just built that way. No one is ever truly happy, I don't think.

But you can definitely find little bits of happiness during the day. In the things you enjoy doing that take away some of the sadness and momentarily allow you to forget what a clusterfuk this life is.

Things like music, art, books, and chocolate. For me, i still have the nagging sadness and feelings of inadequacy... But just for those moments, I am OK.

I hope you find those moments as well, Graeme. Even if for a lil while.

Ah know whit ye mean. Ah could use a few of those moments right now to honest. Definitely agree with you on the whole idea that we're only in the pursuit of happiness. Rather than being genuinely happy and fufilled.

Oh. YouTube videos of cute cats help immensely.

That's true...

 

[Graeme1988]

Really need to motivate masel' to get through this stage of still been weak on ma right side. Aye, ma goal is to get back upstairs, but ah've been advised by ma physiotherapists not to over do any of my exercises or ma the overuse of the pedal exerciser. But they didnae definite overuse or over-doing of exercise? Jist telt me to get up and walk aboot, every hour if possible. Oh, and to keep doing the exercises ah sourced online.

If ah hud'nae conked oot after March 6th, due to tiredness, ah probably be further ahead in ma recovery? Or at least, a week closer to attempting the stairs.

Oh, and ma physiotherapy are gonnae give ma consultant surgeon a call and see if ah cun get ma custom-made trainers and left leg brace as soon as, cuz it'll be the 11th of April afore ah get the trainers, which isnae ideal. Since ah should've been walkin' with ma leg braces from the moment ah got ma plaster off. Aye, ah know am still awfy annoyed aboot that. :thumbdown:

 

[Graeme1988]

Mum: Why dae we argue aw the time?
Me: Cuz one of us is stupid
Mum: Is it me?

I just sigh and leave the question and my comment open to be interrupted however ye want to read it.

Gotta luv a bit o' early mornin' weekend banter. :bigsmile:

 

[Graeme1988]

Would it be wise tae huv a day's rest...? :question: Y'know, since ah wus oot on Thursday night, wus up walkin' about and exercising yesterday, and gan back oot again tonight. Difficult finding a proper balance between rest an exercise. :kickingmyself:

 

[defiance]

Would it be wise tae huv a day's rest...? :question: Y'know, since ah wus oot on Thursday night, wus up walkin' about and exercising yesterday, and gan back oot again tonight. Difficult finding a proper balance between rest an exercise. :kickingmyself:

I mean it's always nice to get a break from time to time because you never want to push yourself too much I suppose. I'm not a doctor...I just play one on T.V:bigsmile:

 

[Graeme1988]

I mean it's always nice to get a break from time to time because you never want to push yourself too much I suppose. I'm not a doctor...I just play one on T.V:bigsmile:

Aye, but, ah've only got 4 weeks til another awkward family visit from ma sister - who ah dinnae like being around cuz she always hus tae f***in' observe me like am a f***in' Big Brother contestant. Nitpicks everythin' aboot me. Oh, and her wee bairn comin' along, who hus made nae secret that she doesnae like me over ma hairy face. Greetin' at the very sight of me. :bigsmile:

Also, why is new parents feel the need tat pass their weans aroon the family like we're playin' pass the parcel? And they take umbrage when a family member doesnae want tae hold the baby...

 

[Graeme1988]

Buddhism....becoming more and more popular in the west.

Aye, eh... Ah've always hud an interest in buddhism. But ah dinnae really speak much aboot it. Or talk much, if ataw. Anyway, the reason ah don't talk much aboot ma interest in buddhism because ma oldest sister would relentlessly take the pure pish oot o' the Kagyu Samye Ling Monastery and Tibetan Centre.

Ah ken she only meant it jokingly, but she kinda over-done to the point of me feelin' a bit wary of expressin' ma interest in buddhism. "There's summit no right aboot that lot at Samye Ling, ken whit ah mean...?!" mg:

This place...

^ It's at Eskdalemuir, near Langholm in Dumfries and Galloway (that's the part o' Scotland where ah live). When it was established in 1967, it wus the first Tibetan Buddhust Centre in the West.

 

[defiance]

Aye, but, ah've only got 4 weeks til another awkward family visit from ma sister - who ah dinnae like being around cuz she always hus tae f***in' observe me like am a f***in' Big Brother contestant. Nitpicks everythin' aboot me. Oh, and her wee bairn comin' along, who hus made nae secret that she doesnae like me over ma hairy face. Greetin' at the very sight of me. :bigsmile:

Also, why is new parents feel the need tat pass their weans aroon the family like we're playin' pass the parcel? And they take umbrage when a family member doesnae want tae hold the baby...

I SAY GROW YOUR FACIAL HAIR LONGER GOOD SIR. TO THE SAME LENGTH AS LEONARDO DA VINCI AND BEYOND:bigsmile:. Who knows maybe they will get to a point where they will leave you alone completely. ALL HAIL THE POWER OF THE MIGHTY BEARD.

 

[Graeme1988]

I SAY GROW YOUR FACIAL HAIR LONGER GOOD SIR. TO THE SAME LENGTH AS LEONARDO DA VINCI AND BEYOND:bigsmile:.

Ha! If only ah could. Ah'd huv tae shave aw ma body hair off and tie it intae ma beard to get to the length o' Da Vinci's. :bigsmile:

Who knows maybe they will get to a point where they will leave you alone completely. ALL HAIL THE POWER OF THE MIGHTY BEARD.

Ah think they already kinda leave me alone cuz they know ah dinnae really do small talk, like whit ah got up to yesterday, since ma life unless ah actually go somewhere is rather borin'. Also, ah sometime wonder if me tellin' them this thing about me is even worth knowin', cuz being the youngest of ma siblings, it's always me who gets criticisized for ma hobbies, interests and opinions. Cuz in ma family, ye see, differ in anyway an yer seen as a weirdo.

Even me choicing tae be single, every once in awhile get the question "Are you gay?" flung at me.
To which, ah now reply with: "Naw, if ah wus gay, ah'd be happy, wouldn't ah?". Which is great, subtle wee pun... :bigsmile:

And am quite heafy in terms o' ma build, broad shoulders, which just adds to the beard. So them things coupled with the deadpan Scottish accent makes me seem quite threatening.

Despite, being quite a soft-spoken, well-manner lad with self-esteem issues and a stutter. Never really like yer loud, obnixious types, unless they cun make me laugh-out-loud. Or, mibbe, ah kinda admire them for being fearless and confidence. Two thing I am not, ah cun assure ya!

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah think the strength is finally comin' back to ma right leg, cannae be sure. Since ah huv'nae felt much pain in it since ma surgery. But today's been quite good, done a few exercises, walked aboot a wee bit with ma zimmer.

Hopefully ah cun keep that up for the coming days, as ma physiotherapist said, next time she pays me a home visit, she might consider gettin' me to the gym they've got in Lochmaben hospital. As they've got parallel bars to walk on and those wee stairs, which would be perfect. Since ma goal is f**kin' off back up to ma bedroom as soon as.

 

[Graeme1988]

Och, ken summit, ah really wish ma life wus a wee bit mair interestin'. Or mibbe it's that dour, pessimistic, dreary outlook ye get fae growin' up in the south of Scotland, as ah huv ma life. Like ah might actually be mair interestin' than ah gie masel' credit for... Despite, being a quiet, shy, stout fella fae an infamous wee toon in the Scottish Borders.

 

[Graeme1988]

Last night ma sister said ah should be a comedian, which ah kinda shrud it off. Because ah don't see masel' as being aw that funny, to be honest. If anythin', I'm unintentionally funny, cuz ah tend to be too honest for ma ain good at times.

Aye, ah can come up with the occasional good one-liner. And ah love to huv a laugh But ah could never stand up and talk for an hour or two hours. Also, comedians huv summit ah don't - confidence...

Plus, huvin been bullied, am kinda ill at ease when comes to humourous insults. Sorry, this is jist me ramblin' on, as per usual.
Though, mibbe, it's got summit to do with the fact ah made ma oldest sister cry with laughter just recounting how ma mum feel off the bed in the living room - the bed I'm currently sleepin' in - that's weekend morning.

 

[Graeme1988]

So much to do, not enough time...

Don't know what ah should prorities with my rehab, since ah've been told to get up and walk with my zimmer as much as I can, but ah also need to find time to fit in some time doing the few exercise ah sourced online. Plus, a few minutes each day on the pedal exerciser.

No sayin' ah've suddenly gotten lazy or anythin', just the walkin' alone take some much oot o' me, energy-wise, ah feel too knackered to do much else.

 

[Graeme1988]

Things seem to movin' at too quick a pace for me. As if everythin' just comin' at me full pelt, nae time to process anythin'.

Ah know ah should be gettin' off ma arse an gettin' in shape, recoverin', etc. But it just feels like too much, y'know? Ah mean tryin' to make time each day to exercise, walk and rest as much as I can. Plus ah still huv'nae gotten comfy night's sleep yet. And ma family are being naggin' c***s as per usual, apparently that's the same as being supportive. h: mg: That, and sayin' they love me. :kickingmyself: Sorry, just venting at the fact ah constantly bein' made to feel guilty when ah fail to do summit by ma family.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Things seem to movin' at too quick a pace for me. As if everythin' just comin' at me full pelt, nae time to process anythin'.

Ah know ah should be gettin' off ma arse an gettin' in shape, recoverin', etc. But it just feels like too much, y'know? Ah mean tryin' to make time each day to exercise, walk and rest as much as I can. Plus ah still huv'nae gotten comfy night's sleep yet. And ma family are being naggin' c***s as per usual, apparently that's the same as being supportive. h: mg: That, and sayin' they love me. :kickingmyself: Sorry, just venting at the fact ah constantly bein' made to feel guilty when ah fail to do summit by ma family.

It's funny, not really, but what some people think passes for love:thumbdown:
All I can do to get through things like that especially with older people is think "That was how they were raised and they don't know any better" Keeps me from taking things too personally sometimes anyways.

Can't wait till for you to get a good nights sleep!!! Sleep deprivation is really awful on a person.
Then you try to stay positive with your recovery with no sleep-not fun!!!