Hiya. :greeting: So, ah suppose ah'll tell ye that wee story. Or mibbe it's more of cautionary tale of the consequences o' binge drinkin' underage... Here we go.
Don't worry, it's no' tragic, naebuddy dies. Well, except a few dozen brain cells.
Ah know, shouldnae coz that no' funny.
Right, so, using that photo ah previously posted ah'll recall the night of ma cousin's wedding reception. Well, whit ah can remember, anyway. This'll be much the
"Morning-after-the-night-before" edition.
So... Ah git this wedding invitation, ma mum tells ah can take somebuddy with me. Because aw intivitation were
"plus yin". Sorry, that's "plus one" fur youse non-Scots on here. Not as fluent in talkin' shite, ah mean Scots, as I am. :sarcastic:
Anyway... Initital ah thought ah'd jist gan by masel' wi' the family. But then, aboot 3 days afore the reception, ah phone Scott, one of ma best friends and fellow school classmates. Ah telt 'em aboot the wedding... The actual phone conversation went summit along these lines:
Scott: "Hullo, who's this?"
Me: "Hiya, Scott, it"
Scott: "Graeme, ye awright, mate?"
Me: "Aye, no' bad... Hey, 're you daein' anythin' this weekend?"
Scott: "Naw, how?"
Me: "Aw, it's jist ah've got this invite tae ma cousin's wedding reception. And ah'm allowed tae bring somebuddy wi' me"
Then Scott asks this geniune question, withoot missing a beat is:
"Will there be drink?" Ah, Scotland! Where alcoholism isn't just a problem, it's a hobbies. Jokin' aside, ah think that question pretty much sums up the Celtic attitude tae drink for most part. Nae offense tae any fellow Scots. Or Geordies, Irish or even the Welsh...
Coz it's no' worth gan tae the pub if yer jist gan fur the conversation. Unless, of course, you're the sober c*nt driving everybuddy hame at the end o' the night. :bigsmile:
So, anyway, ah response tae Scott question in a typically Scottish fashion:
"Aye, of course", tryin' not to laugh as ah said it.
He says:
"Aw, great! Ah'm gan then, when it is it?" Ah tell 'em that it's on Saturday. The next day, at school, we arrange what we were doing - ie, whether he would walk to my place or whether he get picked up at his house. We got a lift in ma oldest sister's car. Me, ma mum, Scott and ma 2 sisters.
By the time Friday came round, we were fair excited aboot the prospect o' gittin' total shit-faced during the weekend.
Ma cousin's wedding reception was held a this hotel, not far from Annan, which is a wee town in the Scottish Borders. Oh! And a crucial wee detail which ah probably should mention before ah git intae what ah remember from that night. When ah wuz talking to Scott on phone inviting 'em to this reception, after he asked aboot there being booze at this reception, he followed that question up with:
"D'ye think ah'll git served at the bar?" I laughed and sarcastically said:
"Aye, right!"
Ma dismissive response kinda triggered an argument as to why it'd be more likely that ah'd git served at the bar than Scott. Because ah look older than 14 years old at the time. It wuz a fact... That didnae stop Scott daring me to buy a drink at the bar by masel' during the evening.
So, we aw arrive. Two of ma cousins (Tina and Megan) and ma auntie (Margaret) greet us at the door, hugging me askin' how ah wuz keeping. Here's where aw goes a bit blurred-eyed...
We gan up a flight of stair, and turn left intae the lounge/bar area. There's a pool table in the middle of the room. Me and Scott sit down in the first booth where my cousin
"Wee" Wull is sitting by himself. The nickname wuz'nae because he small or anythin, he wuz quite a big, chubby lad. It wuz just a way tae distiguish between him and another older family member also called Wull.
Wull is basically the Scots pronuncation of the name
"Will". Fun wee fact fur youse, there.
So, I introduce the two of them, we're chatting away for a wee while. Then ma cousin Tina comes and chats to us. Jokingly remarks aboot how ah've "pit the weight", sayin' ah'd
"need a bra shortly" Ma cousin Wull whispered tae me, saying:
"Just ignore her, Graeme. Your tits are no' as big as hers, anyway" This cruel-humoured insult got a such a laugh that I whispered it in Scott's ear. And three of us laugh to ourselves, despite Tina wantin' tae be in on joke. But we didnae let her... Telling she'd probably git offended if we repeated it.
So, then Tina huz a wee chat with us, and gets me and Scott our first round of drinks. At some point, I think it wuz either ma mum or ma oldest sister asked if she could take a photo of us, which she does. It's that one ah previous posted.
Tina then leave us tae our pints, making her way past the bar area and turning left to the dancefloor area, which was on the other side of room. But ye couldnae really see from where me and Scott were sitting, because the bar kept it from view. Ye could jist see a few tables where folk were chattin; way to each other, and the part of the buffet table.
Me and Scott would have Tina bring us food - sandwiches and that - because we were too lazy and preoccupied wi' gittin' total trashed tae walk the short distance tae the buffet table.
Oh! And after ah huv ma first pint, Tina, just as she about to make her way to the toilet. asks if ah want another. Ah just nod, then ask if ah could git it masel', since Scott hud dare me to do before we arrived at the hotel. Tina says
"Aye", and ah get out of the booth, sticking ma tongue oot at Scott as ah made ma way to the bar.
"You ordering? Or will ah?
"Naw, you gan ahead. Whit ye huvin'? Ah'll pay"
"A pint"
"Awright, ah'll huv the same. Ah'm away for toilet, jist git them and ah'll pay when ah come come back"
"Awright"
Ah walk up tae the bar:
"Twa pints, please, mate". Two pints git poured, as ah look at Scott and smile. He flips me off, ah jist laugh. The barman put them on the counter, tell me the price, and ah tell Tina'll pay fur them once she's back fae the toilet, and that one pint was hers. And ask if it awright if ah take ma pint, despite no' huvin' paid for it.
Ah make ma way back tae the booth where ah wuz sittin' wi' Scott, a big grin on ma face.
"See, ah telt ye ah would git served. Didnae even huv pay fur it either"
"Eh! How no'?"
Tina. Afore she went tae the toilet, she said just order a pint fur masel' and yin fur her and she'd pay when she got back
You, jammy basturd!"
So, ah leave it there, for now. Ah post the rest uh this story tomorrrow.
