Och aye the noo

Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Starting to wonder if ah should feel guilty that I'm, every year, feeling obligated to attend my family Christmas get together? :question: :idontknow:

Cuz it's rather sh!te going just to keep yer mother and sisters all happy, and yous barely get along as it is. :thumbdown: Not that ah hate them, ah just hate how they behave and treat me.

Oh, and what's this whole things of parents now bragging about how much money they spent on their kids at Christmas? Ma oldest sister went on tangent about that, after me wonder if oor middle sibling is a narcissist. Given how many photos she moved to my laptop from her phones, and the fact she's on Instagram. :eek:mg:

Mind you, when my sister and I got ourselves out the house, we had a good laugh at our sister's expense because the oldest said that she - the middle child - need to starting taking care of herself and be an adult, "...even though she doesnae act like yin at times" Well, this remark nearly had me in tears with laughter.

Because just a few days ago, my older sister fell out with and blamed me for an issue with laptop. She bring it to me, tells me to photos from her phone. Which I do. Anyway, before that ah tried access the Bluetooth settings, and can't, which I just chalk down to Windows 10 need an updates. So, I move the photos, tell my older sister that's them done.

Next thing she yells,
"Whit did you dae, Graeme?!"
"Eh?! Just moved the photaes like ye asked"
No, ye didnae. You've done summit tae ma laptop"
Huh, ah've no... Ah just moved the photos. There wus quite a few so ah left it"
"Well, how come there no opening now, then. Eh?"
"Ah dinnae ken?! Hus a virus gotten in?"
"Awww... F*CK!! Ah've lost them!"
"You've no..."
Ah huv... There no opening"
"Aye, but if they were lost the thumbnail preview wouldnae still be there"
"But. There. Not. Opening. Graeme!"
"Awrite! Nae need tae shout, ah cun run some file recovery software n' get them back if they're lost. But ah dinnae think they are"
Aw, Gawd! Nowt gans right fur me!"
"Ah ken whit am daein here, so d'ye want me to sort this problem? It's up tae you"
"Fine! How long will it take ye?
"A day? But depends what's causing the problem"​
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well... Just 24 hours after receiving a surprise Christmas present of a beard grooming kit fae ma sister and her fiancee, she's already wondering if ah've used it. :eek:h:

And ah jist hud tae state the obvious n' telt her: "There's no much ah cun dae with a beard grooming kit when ma beards still just stubble." :eek:mg:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
LoyalXenite said:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOUTfUmI8vs


Came across this and thought of you so I had to share it with you!
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:giggle: :thumbup: Well, here's a fun wee fact. That's sketch is from one of my favourite Scottish comedy shows.

BurnistounDVDCover.jpg


I actually managed to get tickets to see the stage show version back in 2015 in Glasgow. Drag my mother and oldest sister along to that. Thankfully, we were at the back of the room. Then me and my sister saw the show again last year in Edinburgh during it's 2 week run at the Fringe. Sat front... and it was mental. Audience heckles between and durimg sketches which Rob and Iain improvised comebacks to.. My sister and I were to laughing to the point of tears a varation on these sketches was done... :bigsmile:

Best of Burnistoun - Jolly Boy John - YouTube
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
And we got an added laugh in Edinburgh, while waiting to be let into the show there.

Which was taking place here:

gilded-balloon-2012c_photo-steve-ullathorne-web.jpg


As my sister and I sat waiting to be let into the room where the Burnistoun Live show was being put on, we watch 3 seperate groups of Glaswegian fans come up the stair and get turned away by event staff, and told to wait downstairs and a member of staff would call down for anyone with tickets to Burnistoun. As there was a show on before it as well.

We had to arrive early so the staff knew to get us in first, as I was in my wheelchair, stjll recovery from my surgery at the start if 2016.

Anyway, me and my sister quietly laughed to ourselves and had a bit banter with the staff about it; as these groups all had similar angry responses at being turned away. And all the staff could do is apologise for the inconvenience.

"Eh?! Seriously we've tae wait doon there? We got tae walk away the way back doon them f*ckin' sprial stairs again?"
Aww, c'mon! Yer f*ckin' man. Cannae believe that!"
"F*ck sake! Whit a f*ckin' joke, man! Aw them stairs..." :giggle: :bigsmile:​
 
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Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
LoyalXenite said:
I'll have to check it out on youtube coz I loved that elevator skit!
Click to expand...

Well, ye picked the right skit as a jumping off point to get into the series. :thumbup: Ah think full episodes are on YouTube? :idontknow: Ah huv tae look masel', as I've been more in the habit o' watching the DVDs of the series. But I definitely recommend Burnistoun, especially if ya like comedy that's dark, surreal and offbeat.

And, eh, Rob n' Iain really gies it laldy wi' the Scots dialect. So, if ye find yersel' laughin' but no huvin a clue whit's being said in some o' the sketches, that's why. :giggle: Though, tae be fair, that just makes the series aw the funnier. :D
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
LoyalXenite said:
Thanks, I'll check them out once I finish my current binge:thumbup::bigsmile:
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Nae bother! :perfect: Wouldnae recommended eating or drinking anything while watching those Burnistoun episodes mind you.

Just forewarning ye afore ye start watching the series, cuz you thought the elevator skit wus funny, yer ribs are likely gonnae be aching by the end of episode one. :lol:
 
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Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, 2017 wus steamin' pile o' shite. Wus fur me, between an ingrown toenail that gave jip fae March, healed up fur the summer, then came back again. :eek:h:

That n' ma older sister seperating fae her husband in late June, early July. Then her and her 2 kids movin' back into the family - which is just our mum and me - pretty much overshadowed ma enjoyment in Edinburgh for the whole of August. Ah felt so going to the Fringe this year cuz o' that. Mind you, my sister and I pretty much blagged oor way into some of the show we went to see, that didnae make a list of attendees.

And, eh, we actually meet one of the comedians after his show. This guy...
Craig Hill @ Cracker Night 2014 - YouTube

As Craig hugged, shook hands and thanked the everyone for attending. Even complimented me on my tattoos. :D :shyness:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh, and my sister and I briefly said hiya to another comedian, Scott Gibson, before venue staff let us into his show, as we'd arrived at the venue earlier and he was just about to head to the stage entrance. But that wus it, never said we saw him 2 years during a comedy gig in Dumfries, or twice last year and this year. :giggle:
Scott Gibson 'King Gong September 2011 - YouTube



Other than that's been pretty uneventful. Aside from me, my older sister and her fiancee getting a really back case of diarrhoea after eating some chips n' curry sauce while attending the only Scottish date on Alice Copper's UK tour.

"Does that curry sauce taste funny tae yous?"
"Aye, it does"
"Seems awfy salty, does it no?"​

We didnae finish the chips. But, on the drive home, I had a painful stomach that would huv messy consequence the next morning. The gig was great, Alice has still got it 40 year on from when he started. And his new backing band are phemenonal! And Nita Struss... :inlove:

Alice Cooper LIVE, Full Concert, Up Close! OCT. 2017 - YouTube

Anyway, following morning (November 12th), ah wake up with a shooting pain in my stomach, thinking it's indigestion. So, take a drink of fizzy juice thinking that'll settle it. Then I, eh, shart masel'. :eek:mg: :giggle: Went to fart, followed through, basically. Not as bad as the scene from Trainspotting where Spud sh!te the bed.

Trainspotting - Spud's Brown Sheet Scene - YouTube

Though, I was frequently running to the toilet after eating for much of that day. 6 times in total. And, yes, it was like that scene in Dumb and Dumber.
Dumb and Dumber - Toilet Scene - YouTube
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, this weird... I'll be completing the housing application form, tgat . I was sent just a few days ago, tomorrow. :eek: Please, oh please, let that be a sign that things are gonnae go well fur me in 2018. :praying:
happy-dancing.gif


My mother isn't so cheery aboot me movin' oot like, but ah cannae be her carer fur the rest o' ma life. It's been miserable enough these past 17 years. :sad: Sorry, dinnae mean to end this great news on a downer like that.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
2017 might've been utter crap for me, but at least I have one good thing to look back on and be happy about... I got my sister and I tickets to see a band she's loved since her teenage years.

blondie-asize-national-uk-tour-2017.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzbT8kckWE0

I'm also a fan thanks to my oldest sister passionately tell why this album is one of Blondie's best...

blondie-albulm-cover-for-parallel-lines.jpg

Stupidly since tickets went on sale the same day, I gave my oldest sis the option to choice between Blondie and the Glasgow date of Phil Collins' UK tour. :eek:h: As she's fan of his music as well. I'm just glad the decision wus'nae left to me...

Phil_Collins_970x500_ver11_01.gif
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Though, had I chose Phil Collins over Blondie, I don't think my oldest sister would've been too happy. :no: :bigsmile:


And would've missed overhearing one of the funniest music related conversations I've heard. This occurred while we were waiting for the Blondie gig to start, and my sister went to the toilet. Just beside us, at the far end of the accessible platform, these Weegies were chatting away, they look about late 40s, maybe mid-50s. Anyway, yin mentions about tge Phil Collins gig happening, next month (December), in the very same venue we're seeing in. The SSE Hydro. That when one o' them goes:

"Am no a fan o' Phil Collins. The wife is, though. We've got tickets fur next month like"
"How come yer no a fan o' 'em, then?"
Don't know, he just looks like a right cheeky wee b@$%@rd, y'know? Full o' himself" :giggle:​

2nd funniest moment wus the Glasgow crowd booing when Debbie Harry mentioned they played in Birmingham just the night before. Which got a response from Debbie of What'd they do?" and the band play a few notes from the end instrumental part of War Pigs by Black Sabbath. Then our final gig of 2017 was...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SACtjcQ33jA
 
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Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, that's it done ! Nay gan back noo...

Got my name doon fur place of ma own. While that should be a f*ckin' celebration, ah git the feel ma family are gonnae say I'm being a selfish b@$%@rd fur taking this decision. Cuz how they are. :sad:
 
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H

Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
Well, that's it done ! Nay gan back noo...

Got my name doon fur place of ma own. While that should be a f*ckin' celebration, ah git the feel ma family are gonnae say I'm being a selfish b@$%@rd fur taking this decision. Cuz how they are. :sad:
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Don't even give their opposing arguments the dignity they deserve by listening to their rants. If there's one thing I've learned over the years by getting in trouble with family and non-family alike it's this: If you're doing what's right or doing wrong and you know it, wear that sh*t with pride. Don't let anyone rub your nose in it like a dog.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Hot_Tamale said:
Don't even give their opposing arguments the dignity they deserve by listening to their rants. If there's one thing I've learned over the years by getting in trouble with family and non-family alike it's this: If you're doing what's right or doing wrong and you know it, wear that sh*t with pride. Don't let anyone rub your nose in it like a dog.
Click to expand...

Cannae disagree wi ye, there. Cuz yer right...

But it's hard not tae do that when they yelling about about how ah only care aboot maself. How I'm lazy, despite being yin who tries to make sure things get done. That I'm just like my dad, and not just that ah look like him, either (thanks Mum). Then, once they've project onto me enough, they'll be aw f*ckin' smiles, saying sorry n' tell me I'm a good person n' how I'm supposedly the 2nd smartest yin in the family. :thumbdown: :idontknow: Cuz that's how it been the last 15 years o' ma life... and part of the reason why I'm moving oot. :sad:

Och, ken summit? Tae f*ck wi' the lotta them! They cun live with the guilt o' how they treated me, and huv the whole "If only I'd..." conversation amongst themselves. Am done explaining n' justifying to them everything ah do. After all, aw the bad stuff they said n' did wus "...only a joke".

A joke ah clearly wus'nae in on... Still, ah've got a nearly 20 years of darkly humorous dysfunctional moments oot o' my immediate family. Just observing how they behave during arguments is a sight tae behold. And I've got plenty from the last year alone that I'm seriously considering doing a comedy show about them? :thinking:
 
H

Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
Well, I spend pretty much every night staring at my phone or listening to my favorite YouTube vids to fall asleep to. Other than that I stare blankly at my four dark walls. If you need to talk that's fine with me, you can even have my email address if need be.
 
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