My counsellor

[emre43]

By the way, my new counsellor said that she didn't think my feelings towards my former counsellor was a case of transference. She said that my former counsellor was young, pretty and caring and that it was natural for me to have those feelings for her.

 

[Section_31]

right on Emre! im glad to hear this is working out for you.

How do you feel about all of this?. It sounds like things are going well.

 

[emre43]

It's going fantastically well I would recommend it to anybody. In fact I would go as far as saying that I don't feel anxious anymore which I think is unbelievable considering I only started attending the sessions 8 months ago and two of those months I had been away on holiday.

 

[JamesSmith]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I see in the last paragraph, you claim you turned your life around. Well, if your life is so great, then why are you crying over one person and putting your dependency in one person? If your life was really "turned around," you'd have multiple people that you regularly connect with.

 

[emre43]

..........

 

[Section_31]

I have to say Emre, regardless of what others may interpret, the fact that your pursueing this does show a desire to do the best you can and turn around as much as possible.

Youve already taken your first step by not giving up on your counsellor. Keep it up dude!

Your case is inspiring to me actually, me and my wife are going to be trying counselling again as well.

 

[Section_31]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I see in the last paragraph, you claim you turned your life around. Well, if your life is so great, then why are you crying over one person and putting your dependency in one person? If your life was really "turned around," you'd have multiple people that you regularly connect with.

I dont think seeing a counsellor or therapist is putting dependency in one person. If anything, it helps very much to have an outsiders perspective to assist with self analyzation, and change behaviors. This has worked for many before.

And turned around can have many different definitions for many people. For some, sure, its connecting with other people. For others, its a simple understanding of themselves and an ability to at least function in society.

To each their own.

 

[emre43]

I dont think seeing a counsellor or therapist is putting dependency in one person. If anything, it helps very much to have an outsiders perspective to assist with self analyzation, and change behaviors. This has worked for many before.

And turned around can have many different definitions for many people. For some, sure, its connecting with other people. For others, its a simple understanding of themselves and an ability to at least function in society.

To each their own.

I wish I could have put that as eloquently as you did.

 

[emre43]

I have to say Emre, regardless of what others may interpret, the fact that your pursueing this does show a desire to do the best you can and turn around as much as possible.

Youve already taken your first step by not giving up on your counsellor. Keep it up dude!

Your case is inspiring to me actually, me and my wife are going to be trying counselling again as well.

I'm glad that it has inspired you. It honestly has been a revelation for me; I hope that it can have a similar effect on you and your wife.

 

[commenter39]

Hello everyone this is my first post on these forums.

I am a 21 year old male and see a counsellor for my social anxiety. In my opinion she is the best counsellor in the world; every week she makes me feel so happy, always knows the right things to say and I feel that she's is the only person who has ever really listened to me. Because of how kind she is to me I have developed very strong feelings towards her - I love her deeply - despite knowing hardly anything about her.

I have always felt that I never want to stop attending her counselling sessions and fear the day that they come to an end. I saw her yesterday. She's Greek and informed me that due to personal reasons she has to return there for "a few months" and I will be appointed a different counsellor. I asked what will happen when she returns and she said "We'll never see each other again". My heart sank and I sat for the rest of the session facing the ground, hardly saying a word.

I was trying to prevent myself from bursting into tears. She was trying to make me feel better but nothing was working. I would try to speak but had a lump in my throat and it was quite obvious that I was trying not to cry. She asked me why I felt so sad and I told her that I love her. She raised her eyebrows and said "sometimes this happens between a therapist and a patient". My last appointment with her is at the end of June and I desperately don't want it to come around.

To top things off I got into my car and turned the radio on to try and take my mind away from things and the first song that came on was Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head and I burst into tears. Since getting back home I can't stop crying and I feel so despondent. I would prefer to not see anyone while she's away and then return to her when she gets back. She's the only person who has ever really listened to me in my life and I don't ever want to forget about her and everything that she has done for me to help me turn my life around.

Feeling heartbroken...

Lots of psyhiatrics have to face this kind of events.You might not be the first patient with those feelings to her.And you gotta understand that she has to act professional.The end is not always like the movie Mr. Jones. Yet i wish good luck to you.By the way was the therapy useful? I mean it helped because the therapist was her or do u recommend therapies?

 

[emre43]

Lots of psyhiatrics have to face this kind of events.You might not be the first patient with those feelings to her.And you gotta understand that she has to act professional.The end is not always like the movie Mr. Jones. Yet i wish good luck to you.By the way was the therapy useful? I mean it helped because the therapist was her or do u recommend therapies?

I would recommend it to anyone. Before attending I thought that I would be wasting my time but I couldn't have been more wrong, the impact it has had on me has been immense and I've been making so much progress.

 

[R3K]

i'm lucky, all my dentists are chicks...

as for the pain you're feelin about the detachment from your first councilor, well, you're really young, too young to be feelin like that for so long. you got plenty of time to meet lots more chicks.

 

[emre43]

i'm lucky, all my dentists are chicks...

as for the pain you're feelin about the detachment from your first councilor, well, you're really young, too young to be feelin like that for so long. you got plenty of time to meet lots more chicks.

Whilst I agree with you, my ex-counsellor was perfect and I doubt that I will ever find anyone quite as perfect as her again.

 

[R3K]

"Perfect" is relative. today sushi is the bomb because i drove by a japanese restaraunt while i was hungry. tomorrow i might drive by the steakhouse and decide that steak is perfect... forgeting all about sushi in the process.

 

[emre43]

"Perfect" is relative. today sushi is the bomb because i drove by a japanese restaraunt while i was hungry. tomorrow i might drive by the steakhouse and decide that steak is perfect... forgeting all about sushi in the process.

I honestly do want to move on but she was everything that I have ever wanted in a woman and more. She was beautiful, kind, caring, empathetic, understanding and a genuine lady and they seem to be a dying breed nowadays. When I do find somebody else I can't help but think that they will always be in her shadow. I will never forget her as she has helped me so much and when I think of her compared with whoever I may be with in the future she will always come out on top; she means that much to me; it's almost like I worship her as a goddess.

 

[JamesSmith]

I dont think seeing a counsellor or therapist is putting dependency in one person. If anything, it helps very much to have an outsiders perspective to assist with self analyzation, and change behaviors. This has worked for many before.

And turned around can have many different definitions for many people. For some, sure, its connecting with other people. For others, its a simple understanding of themselves and an ability to at least function in society.

To each their own.

I wasn't saying seeing a counselor or therapist is putting dependency in one person. You misunderstood what I was saying.

I was saying that if you are crying and are very depressed because your counselor is moving out of your area, which is what the OP did, then that is putting your dependency in one person, which is a bad idea, and means that the person putting all their faith and dependency in that one person, and that is not a good thing.

It's obvious that the OP doesn't have anyone else in their life that they trust, judging by the rant and crying spell they are enduring right now over the loss of one person in their life.

My advice has nothing to do with getting counseling or not. My advice was saying to find multiple people to trust in your life instead of just one person. It's perfectly fine to get counseling, but it's not okay to put all of your self-esteem into one person, which is what the OP did.

Overcoming SA isn't about finding one person to connect with, it's about finding multiple people to connect with. One person isn't enough.

 

[kilojoule]

Overcoming SA isn't about finding one person to connect with, it's about finding multiple people to connect with. One person isn't enough.

One person is a good place to start. I have found this thread refreshingly honest and thoroughly genuine. I say fair play to poster not easy to post a delicate issue like this.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

My advice has nothing to do with getting counseling or not. My advice was saying to find multiple people to trust in your life instead of just one person. It's perfectly fine to get counseling, but it's not okay to put all of your self-esteem into one person, which is what the OP did.

Overcoming SA isn't about finding one person to connect with, it's about finding multiple people to connect with. One person isn't enough.

Overcoming SA is not the same for everyone or else there'd be a strict guideline for all to follow and get better. So - ONE person MAY be enough of a start or even more than that for someone - maybe not for another - but one person isn't enough for YOU does not mean for ALL. There's a difference between trust and relying/becoming dependent on someone for everything. Having someone to connect/trust with more than others does not mean dependence. ONE person only of course can lead to this, so I agree, a healthy group of friends you could consider trusting and being comfortable with is the best thing FOR ANYONE and overcoming ANYTHING! But it's not either THAT or nothing. And rarely is equal level of trust/comfort, nor does it have to be.

 

[emre43]

I wasn't saying seeing a counselor or therapist is putting dependency in one person. You misunderstood what I was saying.

I was saying that if you are crying and are very depressed because your counselor is moving out of your area, which is what the OP did, then that is putting your dependency in one person, which is a bad idea, and means that the person putting all their faith and dependency in that one person, and that is not a good thing.

It's obvious that the OP doesn't have anyone else in their life that they trust, judging by the rant and crying spell they are enduring right now over the loss of one person in their life.

My advice has nothing to do with getting counseling or not. My advice was saying to find multiple people to trust in your life instead of just one person. It's perfectly fine to get counseling, but it's not okay to put all of your self-esteem into one person, which is what the OP did.

Overcoming SA isn't about finding one person to connect with, it's about finding multiple people to connect with. One person isn't enough.

Personally, I would be happier with just one person to trust, it's how I feel comfortable. I was never depressed about the situation though, just deeply upset and I am over my crying spell, although I do deeply miss her. I am working on trying to meet new people which I couldn't have done before meeting her; which is another reason why I miss her so much, beause all the improvements that I have made are because of her.

 

[emre43]

Overcoming SA is not the same for everyone or else there'd be a strict guideline for all to follow and get better. So - ONE person MAY be enough of a start or even more than that for someone - maybe not for another - but one person isn't enough for YOU does not mean for ALL. There's a difference between trust and relying/becoming dependent on someone for everything. Having someone to connect/trust with more than others does not mean dependence. ONE person only of course can lead to this, so I agree, a healthy group of friends you could consider trusting and being comfortable with is the best thing FOR ANYONE and overcoming ANYTHING! But it's not either THAT or nothing. And rarely is equal level of trust/comfort, nor does it have to be.

^^^^^^^^^^