My biggest fear

[iwanttogetbetter]

Ok so my biggest fear right now is being seen as failure to my parents if sa continues my whole life. Not only seen as a failure but also having them feel sorry for me. I don't care if i end up with no job, living off the government and no wife, I could care less what other people think but having my parents worry scares me. Anyone else feel the same?

.. i dont think this post made any sense

 

[Harleyq]

Your post makes perfect sense. That's my biggest fear, too. I'm really not a people person anyways, so I could happily live my whole life with only one or two people to talk to - the lack of socialization in general isn't scary at all.

What scares me is that by not socializing, I'm not building a social network so that when I go off to look for a job, I'll have no references, nobody to back me up, nobody to refer me, and then nobody will hire me and I'll be a failure. Which I CAN'T be because I want to prove my mother wrong, and my dad's so proud of me for being the first in our family to be in college. And my bf sees me as this really intelligent girl who's going to go far and if I can't get a job, I'll feel as if I've let him down, too.

 

[Mack_Berserk]

Your post made plenty of sense. As for me, my signature says it all.

 

[releaseme]

not having parents to worry about that fear, i stand in another corner of fear. the fear of my son watching his dads life fall apart and what its doing to him. he must be embarrassed to call me his dad. i do understand about not caring about what other people think. but i keep failing in life and i cannot describe the depth of what that does to me, knowing he is watching me constantly failing. your post made total sense, but from a completely different perspective...

for all you young people out there...come to grips with your fears and face them before you get older, because if you dont face them when you're young, those fears will consume your life. do not fear or run from those who love you...

 

[Hellhound]

Your post is ok and makes sense, don't worry too much

My fear is failing so much that I won't be able to do the things I want to do and lead a more "normal" life. I'm terrified of being like this forever or getting worse, and I'm terrified of running out of chances and having suicide as the only choice left. I'm afraid to die alone, forgotten and unloved, and with all my goals and dreams shattered (It's already happening, so YAY!)

I don't care about my parents and family, because I know that, even if I were perfect, they would think I'm a failure anyway. And I don't think I have to make others proud in order to be happy. I only want some peace of mind, a better life and be loved.

Although, If I succeed in anything, it would be nice to shove it down my parents' throats to make them feel like two idiots

 

[Mack_Berserk]

not having parents to worry about that fear, i stand in another corner of fear. the fear of my son watching his dads life fall apart and what its doing to him. he must be embarrassed to call me his dad. i do understand about not caring about what other people think. but i keep failing in life and i cannot describe the depth of what that does to me, knowing he is watching me constantly failing. your post made total sense, but from a completely different perspective...

for all you young people out there...come to grips with your fears and face them before you get older, because if you dont face them when you're young, those fears will consume your life. do not fear or run from those who love you...

This may not mean much, and I'm sure you've heard it before... but it's not too late to turn it around... ever. All of your failures can be buried by just one success (or I'd like to believe so ) .

 

[iwanttogetbetter]

not having parents to worry about that fear, i stand in another corner of fear. the fear of my son watching his dads life fall apart and what its doing to him. he must be embarrassed to call me his dad. i do understand about not caring about what other people think. but i keep failing in life and i cannot describe the depth of what that does to me, knowing he is watching me constantly failing. your post made total sense, but from a completely different perspective...

for all you young people out there...come to grips with your fears and face them before you get older, because if you dont face them when you're young, those fears will consume your life. do not fear or run from those who love you...

I had a friend growing up in childhood whos mum committed suicide because looking back now from my perspective she felt that she wasn't able to provide the best life for her kids because of financial reasons, unemployment, divorces and such. But now me and my friend are grown up and he feels that she was a good mother because she tried to do everything she could for them and i could tell she cared deeply. I'm sure your son doesnt feel that way, I think whats most important is that you show your son that your happy to have him no matter what happens. He should be happy he has a dad who cares .

Mack Berserk HEY THATS KENPACHI!

 

[Richey]

i'm sort of starting to see that happening now with my parents, mum will randomly talk about how succesful all the other relatives of my family who are young are. for instance my sister, my cousins all on some level are living interesting, busy lives. in fact my sister and four cousins my age are all in their dream career roles already, they're always at parties ...i'm chuffed for them but in comparison this year for instance i was seeing a therapist every fortnight about a range of issues. i'm still finishing off my course and working a fogettable weekend job. i'm improving but i feel like my experiences at high school and an intense environment at home growing up and the fact i was more sensitive to that experience is what lead me down a road of lower then normal self esteem ..its delayed my progress by a few years it seems. i overheard my dad say to my sister "he's not my son" ..it could have been slightly sarcastic but i felt there may have been a little sincerity as well, its mainly because i wasn't doing as well as my sister in terms of friends, and grades too ...

i always think to myself perhaps there is another richey in another dimension doing a heck of alot better and another dimension with a richey struggling even more ...don't really know what else to say. except keep trying all methods until you feel better in your own skin and keep pushing yourself to improve.

 

[evie]

I completely understand what you're saying. Thanks for posting this, it's a really good topic.

I'm pretty lucky that my family are really supportive and willing to accept and make allowances for my anxiety, but I can't help worrying that I will disappoint them. I have noticed recently that whenever we're all together at a family gathering, my mum and nanna ask me about whether I have a new boyfriend or not (I haven't had one in quite a while) and they occasionally mention the son of a friend or acquaintance who's single and ask if I'd be interested in meeting them. They also seem to pay undue attention to any mention I make of any male acquaintance or colleague, like they're trying to discern whether I'm interested or not. It's always done good-naturedly and they don't apply any pressure, but I can tell that being introduced to someone is something they're really hoping for.

There's also a whole other issue about grandchildren. I really don't think I want to have kids, and nor do I think I could handle having them, but I know my mum would really like grandchildren. I just turned 22 in September so I don't think she's too worried yet, but it could be a problem in the future. She'll support me if I don't have kids, but I think she'll be upset about it.

 

[Lonelykitsune]

Your post made lots of sense

This is my biggest fear too because my parents are th fw peopl i talk too and thev done a lot for me.They want m to gt through school and get a job and thy mak me study a lot,because the know my potential.But thyve no idea how bad i am at socialising as im normal at home with them.

Thy think im a little shy but that ill grow out of it but i know i ne4ver will.i depnd on thm to do evrything for me and when i leave i know im just gonna scrw up my lif and lt them done horribly...

 

[iamthenra]

My biggest fear is:

Dieing before having my first girl friend and romantic relationship.... ::

 

[Darker Than Black]

living alone rest of my life, . Every girl I liked was either a bitch, or taken, not understanding.

and

failing grades

 

[Miami]

Ok so my biggest fear right now is being seen as failure to my parents if sa continues my whole life. Not only seen as a failure but also having them feel sorry for me. I don't care if i end up with no job, living off the government and no wife, I could care less what other people think but having my parents worry scares me. Anyone else feel the same?

.. i dont think this post made any sense

Thats not my biggest fear but It's one of the things I hate most about my S.A.
I feel bad that my parents feel bad for me because I have social anxiety and depression.

 

[SingleAloneForever]

My biggest fear is dying alone, a virgin, bitter, twisted and unhappy. I envy what all my friends have, they're either engaged/married and starting families of their own. Unfortunately I feel this fear is already reality. I'm 27, and not one single person has even been even slightly attracted to me. I fear time has already run out for me.

I've even tried everything. Going to pubs/clubs, having friends trying to set me up on blind dates, even tried almost every internet dating site the Internet has to offer. Not one person even checked out my profile.

Like I said, this fear is now a reality. Wow, this was a life well spent.

 

[gio289]

My biggest fear is letting people down that care about me, mainly my sisters and my closest friends. They always encourage me when im doing good and put me in place when im doing wrong. That is how I know that they care, and to actually see them disappointed in me hurts like hell

 

[iamthenra]

My biggest fear is dying alone, a virgin, bitter, twisted and unhappy. I envy what all my friends have, they're either engaged/married and starting families of their own. Unfortunately I feel this fear is already reality. I'm 27, and not one single person has even been even slightly attracted to me. I fear time has already run out for me.

I've even tried everything. Going to pubs/clubs, having friends trying to set me up on blind dates, even tried almost every internet dating site the Internet has to offer. Not one person even checked out my profile.

Like I said, this fear is now a reality. Wow, this was a life well spent.

I totally can relate to your problems.... The only difference between you and I....I'm 41 years old... And you think you have wasted your life? IF....I start dating for some strange reason that someone would like me, 41 is hardly a good age to start doing what I should have done when I was 13.... Can just see it now...An awkward 41 year old male, trying to figure out how to _____..... You fill in the blank. Kind of pathetic. You would have thought by now, someone would have given me a chance...But NOOOOOO... Bitter am I? Guess so...

 

[Jake123]

I totally can relate to your problems.... The only difference between you and I....I'm 41 years old... And you think you have wasted your life? IF....I start dating for some strange reason that someone would like me, 41 is hardly a good age to start doing what I should have done when I was 13.... Can just see it now...An awkward 41 year old male, trying to figure out how to _____..... You fill in the blank. Kind of pathetic. You would have thought by now, someone would have given me a chance...But NOOOOOO... Bitter am I? Guess so...

There's a certain beauty in solidarity, don't regret your life... In the end the most important person to you is you and all you need is you... relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be, and sex definitely isn't and it's not something to fret over. I'm walking solo from now on because it's better being free People will always just weigh you down IMO.

 

[ForthDimension]

My biggest fear is not acheiving all my dreams that float around in my head, like finding a girl, getting married, having a house, having a couple of kids, and most of all having my parents see me achive them.

I feel im letting my parents down. Recently my mum said to me "If something happens to me, please get on with your life and dont be upset or mope around the house feeling sad" That really upset me. I really want to acheive those things before their time is up.