my 21st is coming up and i dont know what to do

[nothing else]

So I'm going to be turning 21 soon. I can't remember the last time I actually did something with friends for my birthday. Everyone is expecting me to do something for my 21st, I could blow of my 18th but not this. I'm scared that my few friends/acquaintances will be offended and think that I decided not to invite them. And how will I ever explain to people that I didn't do anything. My dad said we will 'talk about it' later... great. My parents know of my low social life but they don't know how bad it is. I can't have a party or it will be extremely embarrassing at how few people I actually know.

I also feel bad because my cousin, who is a similar age to me, invited me to her 21st. I usually only see her at Christmas and stuff, and she only invited about 60 people. What if she thinks I didn't invite her to mine? And how on earth can I tell her that I didn't do anything?

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

The way I see it, if they're worth caring about, they would either happily attend a small gathering with me or they'd understand that I don't want one.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Wow i'm in a very similar situation. I just went to my cousins but she lives 3 hours away who had tons of people at her party. I have 2 friends and 1 boyfriend and these three people have lots of friends of their own. I think no matter what your situation is you should do something. Your 21 it doesn't matter if it's one friend, some family member, anything you should take care of the one/ones you have and go out. I'm turning 21 in two months also. "So what did you do for your 21st" is going to be a question for years to come! >.> like people still ask me what i did for prom, which was nothing. It would be better to say i went to the movies with a friend and saw some person hitting on me with a orange mohawk..idk some weird/random story that could happen then just nothing. It doesn't sound as good to say i just stayed in my room. happy birthday :>

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

Do what I did, get loads of booze in and get bladdered before anyone turns up. The rest of the night was lost to the wind. It didn't help that my 21st was 1 day before my sisters 18th so it became a joint party with all her friends aswell.

 

[pinata]

I know what you mean! It's my 21st coming up as well, and I'm worried no one will want to come. I think I'm going to end up inviting one of my friend's friends lol. Do you not want to do anything for your bday then? You might regret it, don't let your anxiety get in the way.. easier said than done. But if you really don't want to celebrate it, don't. But it is YOUR day to do what you want. I'm probably going to get drunk and who knows if it will be a good night or a bad one.. Is there a close friend you could go and hang around with? Don't be lonely on your birthday. Unless you wanna!

 

[Section_31]

jeez...when i was 21 i repeating the 12th grade for the 3rd time.

Made it!. that was my 21st celebration

 

[Vampayah88]

For my 21st I brought to the faculty champagne and some goodies and served the people in my class, I wasn't comfortable enough to invite my collegues to celebrate anywhere. I still felt awkward and like no one cared. When im 22 in a few months I probably won't bother doing anything anymore.

 

[Fighter86]

I get what you mean totally, I try to avoid all questions on how I celebrated my 21st. How about you take a holiday? And then you can tell everyone you have decided to travel to celebrate so there'll be no party! You mentioned your dad's been asking about celebration as well so perhaps he'll even sponsor the trip?

 

[coyote]

i honestly can't remember my 21st birthday

maybe i never had one...

that means i'm a year younger - yay!

 

[Agent_Violet]

I was at the motor vehicle licensing place getting my old license changed to the grown up license.

Then i think i went to dinner and went home.

When asked what I did...I joked and said "whatever i did must have been a blast bc I seriously can't remember a thing about that day!"

 

[we_r_eternal]

i didnt do anything for my 21st birthday and it was all good.. its my birthday on saturday and im not doing anything and its allgood. take a step back from your ego and things will come into perspective.. its just another day, except now you can legally buy alcohol!

 

[Agent_Violet]

take a step back from your ego and things will come into perspective.. its just another day, except now you can legally buy alcohol!

aww that's kinda mean...

who says it has anything to do with ego? maybe it's just another day to you but to others it's a real milestone they've hit.

 

[JP81]

My 21st was a loooong time ago. I didn't do anything for it, maybe I should have in retrospect. Not that it weighs on my mind or anything. The worrying about it is probably the worst thing, once it kicks off and you see people are having a good time maybe it won't be so bad.

 

[Kiwong]

I celebrated with my parents the people that mattered most to me.

 

[skins]

if your worried that your few friends would be offended if you did nothing then why don't you just invite THEM out for the evening and say book a table at resteraunt or bar or somthing and tell them you didn't want a huge party or anything cuz you hate to be the centre of attention and just want to have a small celebration with a few choice friends rather then a huge night? they will appreciate being the chosen few...

 

[Fighter86]

if your worried that your few friends would be offended if you did nothing then why don't you just invite THEM out for the evening and say book a table at resteraunt or bar or somthing and tell them you didn't want a huge party or anything cuz you hate to be the centre of attention and just want to have a small celebration with a few choice friends rather then a huge night? they will appreciate being the chosen few...

Good idea, if I were your friend, I would be flattered too. On my 21st, I couldn't wait for the day to end, I mopped around in really old and tattered clothes, no dinner, no celebration, did nothing basically.

 

[thor01]

I didn't do anything. I didn't want a "birthday" and I am thinking of never even recognising one again, and just going by feeling hah. Not paying attention to time. Because it doesn't really exist unless you want. don't plan to go up in age hah. And if others see my official number age go up, i'll say seperate to that and know its not even real.

 

[nothing else]

I really only have one friend where it would make any sense if I invited him too a smaller party... and we are not really close friends anyway, we see each other maybe 4-5 times a year. That's why it would be weird if I did anything with friends ('friends'), because it would be a small group of people I'm not that close too.

I wish I could so something though, I wish a had friends and things were they way they're 'meant' to be. I've heard that many people don't care about birthdays anymore after 21. I hope that's not true because I would like to be able to celebrate my birthday when I actually have something to celebrate.

I'm scared that I'll regret not doing something good, even though I know really that whatever I do isn't going to be great anyway. I guess I'll just do something with close family, but maybe pretend to people that I also did something with close friends. I heard my cousin is also doing a separate thing for extended family, I feel like maybe I should do that too, otherwise it would be weird. But I don't really want to cause it would probably be quite stressful.

How about you take a holiday? And then you can tell everyone you have decided to travel to celebrate so there'll be no party!

That is a good idea, but unfortunately probably unpractical. I would like to do something special though, even if its just by myself.

 

[nothing else]

When my cousin said happy birthday on facebook, she said she would see me at Christmas, even though her birthday is before then. Do you think that is a hint that she doesn't want me to come, or something?

 

[pinata]

She ONLY invited 60 people lol.. wow, I've got like 5 people coming out with me if I'm lucky. It's my 21st birthday tomorrow and I really can't be bothered with it.. my friends don't even like me, I don't want to get drunk, I want to stay at home. Nobody ever gets me a present :'[ Apart from my family.