Uh... I am not really sure if those break ups were my fault, honestly. Because they had really idiotic reasons to dump me.
My first boyfriend's story, let's see... He pretty much knew I was a troubled person, but he never seemed to mind that, he was with me for about a year and half. He was troubled as well, he talked about suicide very often.
One day, due to many stressful situations happening at once, I had a pretty severe breakdown. The day after, he started to treat me coldly, he said he didn't want me to call him, emails only and only if it was very necesary. He was like this for a while until one day I called him to see what the hell was wrong. He reacted as if he was making fun of me and was like "uh... why did you call me...?". Then, I don't remember how long after that, he dumped me under the excuse "I can't put up with all your problems". I found that to be very unfair, considering he would make me freak out all the time with his suicide thoughts and self injury, and I've always been there for him when he'd do so. I only had ONE bad breakdown in one f*cking year and half and he had the brilliant idea to just flush the whole relationship down the toilet. Yeah... no.
I am happy he dumped me, though. He wasn't a very good person. He's always been unfair and uncaring to me. Ugh... I don't even know why I didn't dump him myself on the first place.
Anyway... My second "boyfriend". Between " " because I don't know if that was even a relationship. I met him shortly after my first one broke up with me. Oh coincidence, he got dumped too by his girlfriend not too long ago. We started to talk, he gave me his phone number, he seemed nice, we got together.
Now things started to get strange. This guy had a list of weird ass fetishes and was rather pervy. He'd want me to partake in that, and I'd obviously decline his many invitations. He'd keep insisting though. Right when he appeared, the first thing he would do instead of "hello, how are you?" was "-unbuttons your pants-", which was HIGHLY annoying. We rarely had a serious conversation anymore.
Another strange thing happened after a while. The guy started to avoid me. He would log off when I logged in, or if I caught him for a bit, he'd go "oh sorry, I have to go because of -insert excuse-". This behavior lasted months.
One day, on Valentines day, I finally got him to talk to me and admit he was avoiding me. In that moment, he thought it was a good idea to just tell me he was not my boyfriend. I asked why, he made up excuses from "your lifestyle goes against my religion" to "my mom told me to break up" and "I was feeling empty because my girlfriend dumped me". I will never know the real reasons behind his stupidity, but it really bothered me that he couldn't tell me beforehand that he wasn't prepared for another relationship.
Again, I am happy I didn't end up with this person. He was f*cking weird... I should have dumped him right when he started to get annoying with his fetishes. I feel dumb for not doing so.
i admit, i probably spend an unhealthy amount of time alone though 
