More Than Just Friends: Risk vs. Reward

Tiercel

Well-known member
I found myself giving someone some advice about this last night, and wonder what your ideas are.

If you are friends with someone but start to care for them as more than just a friend, how would you go about telling this friend. Would you tell him/her/it at all, or try to content yourself with the status quo? If you do tell, how would you do so without alienating yourself from this friend?

I tried to give (person) some courage with some of that "fortune favors the bold" crap, though it has not yet worked for me.

Thoughts? Feelings? Silly hats?
 

MrJones

Well-known member
Experience has showed me that no matter what I do, I always should have done the opposite.

If you want to know how to do that I can't help, but if in the other hand you want to lose someone important for you, just ask me.
 

da_illest101

Well-known member
well from personal experience it blow up in my face pretty badly, so bad that we haven't talked to each other for nearly 8 months. So i can't say the risks was worth it.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've liked friends before. And no, I never told them. I was too scared about what would happen if I did. I was afraid everything would just blow up in my (our?) face(s) and then no more friendship, no more anything. So I've just kept my feelings to myself. I eventually got over them.
 

Going Insane

Well-known member
dating-fails-super-duper-mega-then.jpg
 
Telling it could ruin that friendship, I think. If that person is thinking about telling it, he should tell him only if his friend is someone that he has been knowing for several years.

Love means usually the end of friendship, once that thin line is passed, there's no turning back.
 

coyote

Well-known member
are both people single, or are we talking about an affair of some sort?

the approach would be different depending on how married they are
 

market.garden

Well-known member
I told a friend how I felt about them once. It just turned out to be humiliating and one of my biggest regrets. Lost a good friend, not because they were weird about it, but because I felt too embarrassed around them & now, living in a smallish town, they've started to associate with my circle of friends, making it even more difficult to socialise & go out.

That being said, you never know how these things will turn out, and maybe in the long run its better to let them know how you feel, rather than spending years & years thinking "what if?"
 

Agent_Violet

Well-known member
the approach would be different depending on how married they are

lol this just made me giggle hysterically..."so ummm...I see you have a wife...exactly how married Are you?"


:D

As for sharing feelings with a friend...only do so if you're prepared for the possibility of it pushing them away or having serious awkward moments for a long time. It could turn out meaningful and lovely like the movies...or it could end with a super long silence and a lot of "umm,uhh...I think I left my oven on...I've gotta go"
 

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
It depends, really. If you told them, could you trust them to still be your friend even if they reject you? Also, if the relationship didn't work out, could you still be friends? In my opinion, if even one of those answers is a no, then maybe you shouldn't tell.

I just lost a friend because I told her how I felt. Now, I'm starting to regret ever telling her my feelings.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I did that a few months ago. After being friends with a girl for over a year, I told her how I felt and we started dating. Bad idea. It ended two months later and now she won't talk to me. I lost a good friend and, by association, her friends, who were all awesome.

I'll never do that again.
 

Tiercel

Well-known member
are both people single, or are we talking about an affair of some sort?

the approach would be different depending on how married they are

As far as I know both were (and maybe still are?) single.

Though they're young, they probably could marry.
 
I think it depends on many things like 'how strong your feelings are?' , 'What kind of partners they want?' , 'Do they feel somewhat same, did they ever give you any hint about it?' If you think that you're slightly attracted to them and its not worth ruining your friendship, then perhaps its not a good idea. But if your feelings are very strong then I think its better to let it out than to keep wondering about 'what might happen?' My one friend said this to a girl who was his friend for years. She admitted that he was nice and attractive but its just not what she wants. They're still best friends though. Also sometimes girls are irritated for being approached by every guy they meet so they might not understand that your feelings are true and not like everyone else and get offended.
 
Last edited:
Top