Man in the box

[Mittzu]

First of all, sorry for my first post being a new thread, it sounds like i just created the account to create this one thread,so far as u can see my english isn't that good, sry about that as well.

let me introduce myself:

Name: Alisson
Age : 19
Ocupation:I don't work,i don't go to university(how can i go with my anxious/socialphobia) my whole day is about learning programming lenguages, also i study another lenguagues( what a joke huh ? this guy can't even speak english well hahahaha), well, i'm gonna say that i watch some series too.

Like: I don't like many things, but i do like knowledge, and rock/metal bands etc.

Deslike: I hate the way that we live nowdays, teens thinking that sex is the most important thing ever, when in fact they should now things like Philosophy( Aristotle, socrates,plato etc.)( Ain't saying that i am a smart guy, i just really choose a book instead having sex or other form of wasting time).




My name is Alisson, i don't do nothing except being at home, there's nothing to outside while having all these complexes which drop my life down. I am locked up in this bedroom for like 2 years(i am reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally serious), i don't speak with my family because i have problems with them, so it's a awfull thing because i just left the bedroom at the dawn ,except of couse when i've to go in bathroom, but i think you people got what i'm traying to say, i eat once per day, i would lie if i say that i totally don't speak with my family, i only speak with my mother when i need something, but just quickly conversations at all.



My main problems are :

I cannot speak with other person looking at the eyes, i mean keeping the visual contact...
I am very shy, a lot!
I get sweaty going out there.
I don't have friends.
Actually i only can speak with another person by text.


What do i expect from the future?

-My only Objective in life is getting out of my country, i'll explain the why... in my country i don't have opportunity at this area, the solution is being hired by a company from another country)
-Wish i could work as programmer in a big company ( nothing like google or something else hahaha)
-Go to big concerts of rock all over the world hahhaha


why saying all those stuff ? this one is mine, my very first pilot episode of a change, i can't do any of those things that i said before without dying of a heart attack, so i hope change myself frequenting this forum.

again: sry for my english!!! SHAME ON ME ::::::

 

[Lavinialuna]

Your English was fine, don't apologize!
It will be interesting to see if you can conquer some of your fears as you get older. I hope you do because there is a lot out there worth seeing. Even if it's only to places where no people go. I don't think I could stay in the house forever. I have a large fenced in yard where I feel safe, thank God for that... I hope you can overcome some of your fears.
Are you in any sort of treatment or therapy?

 

[LoyalXenite]

Welcome

 

[jaim38]

Welcome to the forum! I can empathize. I've been agoraphic/hikikomori for 2 years or so before making an effort to go out more. The process is tough, especially getting the motivation to actually go out and interact with people. Social anxiety makes it 10x worse. This website has helped me improve and given me some motivation to go there and do things. Good luck!

 

[Mittzu]

Ty people, your messages mean a lot to me, i'm all about getting over my phobias, all my struggles will result in something, i know it!

Your English was fine, don't apologize!
It will be interesting to see if you can conquer some of your fears as you get older. I hope you do because there is a lot out there worth seeing. Even if it's only to places where no people go. I don't think I could stay in the house forever. I have a large fenced in yard where I feel safe, thank God for that... I hope you can overcome some of your fears.
Are you in any sort of treatment or therapy?

ty

god, i wish i could do a theraphy,so... the answer is NO. =/
yesterday came a smooth thought in my mind about being at my yard with my dog and then instantly started crying,it is painfull to see the world through a window, but yeah i'll overcome my fears though, btw, how long do you stay at home ?

 

[Lavinialuna]

I have secluded myself (with the exception of my kids and husband) for about 3+ years. I just slowly stopped talking to anyone. I don't find therapy useful. I am going to try some self help books and see if I can't figure it all out for myself, as I'm the only one who really gets me (and I barely get myself.) Yoga, meditation, prayer. I'll get there. I'll eventually find balance, I know it!
I hope you can too! I hope we all can!

 

[Richey]

You sound like the sort of friends I like. I love Indie Rock/Metal, music and programming, going to concerts, reading, drawing, guitars and all that sort of stuff. Some of the nicest people in the world work in IT/Electronics or follow the music scene, and your English was really good. Philosophy is great I agree, it has the power to really expand the mind and perception to help cope with life's challenges, I agree.

 

[Earthcircle]

Freud became a world icon for developing a cure for anxiety and depression. That was over 100 years ago. So we're all cured, right?

 

[Earthcircle]

It's interesting that someone here is trying to escape from Brazil. I just moved here to Brazil, and I am wondering how to connect with people. Brazilians seems friendly, but nothing ever seems to really last. Of course, I've only been here for a little over a month.

 

[Livemylife]

Hi, welcome.

I think it's really good you're trying to improve your life. Becoming a programmer sounds like a good start. I know that computer science majors tend to get jobs after college.

 

[Sea Bass]

Hello mittzu and welcome to the forum. You sound like you're in despair concerning your problem. The best thing I can suggest for despair is (1) finding something that is bigger than you and (2) a higher power.

1. By finding something bigger than you I mean finding something that's not all about you and about others. I am by no means calling you selfish I am just saying that there is something that is key to your recovery from being down in the dumps in other people. You see, by finding something that's about others you will establish a reciprocal relationship. You do a little and they do a little back is the idea. Try finding a group of people with similar issues (you found one here on social phobia world) and try and participate in instilling a sense of community. Try starting threads that are about interesting topics that in turn start interesting conversations which not only help you learn things, but help other people out as well. This website will be a small step though and you will probably have to eventually find a group out in the real world to implement the idea I've been elaborating about so you can finally get rid of your social anxiety/phobia, but I think you will be able to do it.

2. By finding a higher power I mean finding something that gives you a sense of control and that things will be alright. There will probably be setbacks on your journey to getting "cured" and you will need to find a way to stick with things and not freak out - this is where a higher power comes in to play. It doesn't have to be a God and you don't have to believe in fate either. Just find something (other than what I talked about earlier in find something that's bigger than you) that lets you know that things can work out for the better to alleviate your despair.

These ideas are loosely tied to ideas in a self help book written by a guy named Charles Duhigg entitled "The Power of Habit" which I highly suggest you read.

 

[Mittzu]

You sound like the sort of friends I like. I love Indie Rock/Metal, music and programming, going to concerts, reading, drawing, guitars and all that sort of stuff. Some of the nicest people in the world work in IT/Electronics or follow the music scene, and your English was really good. Philosophy is great I agree, it has the power to really expand the mind and perception to help cope with life's challenges, I agree.

thank you , we all should know the words of wisdom. What a rich legacy they left for us!

 

[Mittzu]

Hello mittzu and welcome to the forum. You sound like you're in concerning your problem. The best thing I can suggest for is (1) finding something that is bigger than you and (2) a higher power.

1. By finding something bigger than you I mean finding something that's not all about you and about others. I am by no means calling you selfish I am just saying that there is something that is key to your recovery from being down in the dumps in other people. You see, by finding something that's about others you will establish a reciprocal relationship. You do a little and they do a little back is the idea. Try finding a group of people with similar issues (you found one here on social phobia world) and try and participate in instilling a sense of community. Try starting threads that are about interesting topics that in turn start interesting conversations which not only help you learn things, but help other people out as well. This website will be a small step though and you will probably have to eventually find a group out in the real world to implement the idea I've been elaborating about so you can finally get rid of your social anxiety/phobia, but I think you will be able to do it.

2. By finding a higher power I mean finding something that gives you a sense of control and that things will be alright. There will probably be setbacks on your journey to getting "cured" and you will need to find a way to stick with things and not freak out - this is where a higher power comes in to play. It doesn't have to be a God and you don't have to believe in fate . Just find something (other than what I talked about earlier in find something that's bigger than you) that lets you know that things can work out for the better to alleviate your .

These ideas are loosely tied to ideas in a self help book written by a guy named Charles Duhigg entitled "The Power of Habit" which I highly suggest you read.

Thank you for being so thorough, i don't think that i am quite desperate because throughout my whole life i was an antisocial person, the difference between before and now is that i can't no longer speak with people, it's rather strange, antisocial people may have friends, and i did... NO! I can't call those fake people of friends, i never ever had a real friendship, always it wasn't a equal thing like with me giving 75% and the other person giving only 25%.

At least i know that a human being is a social being, do you know about Maslow's pyramid or Maslow's hierarchy of needs? It said that humanity needs all those 5 stuff'' but i can doubt i gonna follow those rules or not! The third degree is said that we need love/belonging to get upstairs and reach the top of pyramid which is what i am concerning about...all i wanna say is that it isn't an absolute truth, people can get the top with skipping some degrees.

of course, i'm here because i want to heal my wounds and get over my complexes, just saying that i won't die if i don't make friends in real life.

About finding a higher power i want to tell you a history about a little thing that made my day 500% better, i was absolutely over the moon! 2 years ago when i started my isolation my days were a total waste of time, i passed my days playing games day after day during(not exactly)1year since i was crying out for a change, and then i decided changing my ways of life by learning something new, common!!! being at home 24h and not learning nothing? what a waste!!!

so decided to claim what is mine by right(knowledge) i started studying hard, was tough in the very beginning because i wasn't used to it, but with time i made a immensive progress, like i said earlier my point of study is lenguage and computer programming lenguages. Now is where i tell you about the thing that made my day... 2 weeks ago i try to test my dutch lenguage with a german guy, and then... BOOOOOOOM!!!!! i was speaking with him, barely, but i was!!!!!!! That thing made tears coming out from my eyes, completely a total relief, my hunger was satiated,it really gives me strength. So this is my higher power that you mentioned.

ofc, yet have plenty stuff to study, will try to improve my english after, but now i am too busy.

Charles Duhigg? i'm gonna check this one out!

 

[fate12321]

Welcome! Its a good thing that your learning how to code! Right now programming is a very useful skill,so keep it up!