Loneliness, killing me

[Csea88]

...............

 

[Daniel089]

...It's my loneliness more than anything that's killing me...I sit inside everyday all day long. Alone. While everyone works...people keep telling me they're here for me that it'll get better but its not. I'm not even licensed to drive yet I got my license last year and no ones made any attempt to help me....it expires in a year...so here I sit everyday doing nothing being alone...checking facebook for nothing...no contact no one writes to me. No one calls me. No one in my life makes good on the promises they say they'll keep. And so I sit here. Doing nothing....all the while wishing I could just die...some days I feel like just slicing open the vein in my wrists....because that would be so much better than this....loneliness

I know that feeling and I understand your situation, though knowing that your a girl is a little different from mine, but in a positive way only. But one thing is for sure: eventually you have to find others company, I'm guessing you have SA, I also have but my problem can mostly be explained with my lack of friends and social experiences, my social fears are just a secondary issue.

Your wrong in that noone ever writes to you, since I just did. Maybe we all have an urge in ourselves to help others, which is a great human quality. If you have anything to share, you can write me anytime or to anyone else in this forum, give it a try, I say!

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Csea, if you want someone to talk to, we're here. I'm usually on here all day, every day. I don't mind it when people talk to me. We are here for you and it will get better, but you have to stand up and work with us, you know? If no one's coming to you, you have to go to them. Look around for some driving classes and see if you can join one. Check your area for any groups or clubs or organizations that you might like to join. Talk to people you've never spoken to before. Do some volunteer work. Just don't sit in that room, doing nothing, okay::? As long as you're doing something to keep yourself preoccupied, then it'll be okay.

 

[jonas89]

I hope you have other wishes then to die,,
loneliness yes can be a hard thing and is never fun to deal with..
I had 2 years of my life being inside doing nothing dealing with depression panic attacks and losing my father,, I thought I would just end it sometimes,, but some how I kept going on and tried with all this burden on,, no one to help me really other then those times when I went to the therapist,, my closest friends didn't even call or participated in my life then with me that much soo I can relate in some ways.

You can always send me a line if you like,, I know talking through text alone isn't going to fix loneliness, but you can always exchange ideas with someone

 

[Sacrament]

You're a pretty girl. You need to turn your thoughts around and get out there. Do some volunteer work, help others, find places dedicated to helping the elder (like keeping them company when they're all by themselves, shopping with them, etc). Whatever you do, try and reach out. Granted, not everyone will listen, but some will.

 

[HumanZ]

Sounds like my situation. Except It's fine to me being home alone. Playing my guitar, listening to music, playing games, studying, reading, exercising, smoking, being at the computer etc. It just works with me. I guess I'm a hermit and it doesn't bother me at all. It's not a problem to be social at work or at school but in my freetime, I love being alone.

 

[MrSunday]

Meh that's life. I never had any friends. I was always alone from a very young age. Sure it gets boring and depressing, but I tell myself that's life.

 

[Csea88]

Thanks you guys, I know I need to get out there and try, I do try. I ask people to hang out to do stuff... although I am agoraphobic I try my best...its the only way to try to get over it. But people break promises they don't see me... I want to take driving lessons but don't have the money to...half of my money goes towards rent... I just feel like I need people way more than they need me...I tell people I miss them...no one ever tells me they need or miss me...only when I feel this way they say it'll get better.. It doesn't. I have wanted to do volunteer work in my area for a while but don't know where to begin...if I can volunteer outside it would be a better way of slowly integrating back into the real world. I want to do these things... but people doubt me...causing me to doubt myself...and then they leave me alone all the time to live their lives... I don't have support...but I guess I do in a small way with people writing to me on here. I just wish I could have human contact and friends and a real outside life again... I'm just hurting. Thanks for the positive feedback though, it's very much appreciated.

 

[shakethelight]

Thanks you guys, I know I need to get out there and try, I do try. I ask people to hang out to do stuff... although I am agoraphobic I try my best...its the only way to try to get over it. But people break promises they don't see me... I want to take driving lessons but don't have the money to...half of my money goes towards rent... I just feel like I need people way more than they need me...I tell people I miss them...no one ever tells me they need or miss me...only when I feel this way they say it'll get better.. It doesn't. I have wanted to do volunteer work in my area for a while but don't know where to begin...if I can volunteer outside it would be a better way of slowly integrating back into the real world. I want to do these things... but people doubt me...causing me to doubt myself...and then they leave me alone all the time to live their lives... I don't have support...but I guess I do in a small way with people writing to me on here. I just wish I could have human contact and friends and a real outside life again... I'm just hurting. Thanks for the positive feedback though, it's very much appreciated.

I swear when I was reading this I thought you were inside my head or something. I know how you feel about feeling like you need them more than they need you. Some people can be so selfish. Don't let other people make you doubt what you and cannot do. My family has been doing this for years. I don't even know you, but I would bet anything you are more than capable of being in the real world. You just need to believe in yourself. Are you in therapy? I know a lot of people don't really trust in it. But I find it too be really helpful. Anyway, I hope youre feeling less lonely since you wrote this post.


Btw, have you ever thought about volunteering at an animal shelter? that's involves being outside. But if animals aren't your thing there's always; food pantries, assisted Living/nursing home, homeless shelter/soup kitchen, or near by hospitals?

 

[Csea88]

Thank you so much for writing to me, I'm feeling a lot better now that I know other people go through the same thing, I love animals so I wouldn't be opposed to doing things like volunteer at an animal shelter. Thank you shakethelight for talking to me if you ever wanna talk too I'm here. Just going to take things one day at a time.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I have wanted to do volunteer work in my area for a while but don't know where to begin...if I can volunteer outside it would be a better way of slowly integrating back into the real world.

Try searching online for volunteer opportunities in your area. You may find a clearinghouse that refers volunteers to other agencies and can help you locate a position suited to your needs and abilities. You'll discover that volunteering brings rewards that far outweigh any time or energy you might invest, and your efforts will be truly appreciated by those you help. Good luck!

 

[Everett]

...It's my loneliness more than anything that's killing me...I sit inside everyday all day long. Alone. While everyone works...people keep telling me they're here for me that it'll get better but its not. I'm not even licensed to drive yet I got my license last year and no ones made any attempt to help me....it expires in a year...so here I sit everyday doing nothing being alone...checking facebook for nothing...no contact no one writes to me. No one calls me. No one in my life makes good on the promises they say they'll keep. And so I sit here. Doing nothing....all the while wishing I could just die...some days I feel like just slicing open the vein in my wrists....because that would be so much better than this....loneliness

Please don't commit suicide. I had a friend who departed way too early as a result from depression and all that did was leave me with a lot of guilt and loneliness. I could have called, could have helped, but the SA in me kept me from helping... and that's what really hurts me everyday, the thought that I was a part of their death, the thought that maybe, just maybe, if I gave them just ONE call, things would've ended differently.

 

[cowboyup]

Csea,

loneliness and being inside all the time can be a downer when you are alone with your thoughts, feelings, etc.

For what it's worth, I got my drivers license at age 35 and that was only because my mom passed away and I had no choice. Otherwise if she were still alive, I would not have one.

Point is, there is always some kind of hope out there even if it is a flicker of light at the end of a dark, narrow tunnel.

Please keep posting anything - whatever, it doesn't matter, we are here for you - and you for us hehe!

Keep your chin up, girl!

 

[planemo]

I definitely know the feeling of being alone, and when the world seems to go on, with no real desire for you to ever be part of it. Sometimes I wish someone out there could make an effort to include me with the outside world. But I guess expecting that is a bit too unrealistic. I only leave home a few times a month, other that that I'm very much housebound. So I know how horrible it is to be trapped, not just physically (within walls) but mentally and emotionally as well. I'm sorry you have to go through it too. ::

Unfortunately from my experience I'm just looked down upon by people for being the way I am. I'm a bad, lazy person for being in the situation I'm in. People generally have little sympathy if you're very solitary and agoraphobic. The feeling of them not showing enough attention towards one, is something I feel too. It can be a huge blow to self esteem.

But please no matter how sad you feel about being alone, never let it make you desperate for a way out, by hurting yourself. Hurting yourself never solves anything. Hang in there and keep strong.