Link between thinking your ugly and SA/SP?

[AMunk3y]

i was reading the "do you think you're ugly" thread and was thinking about something.
I didn't want to post this in the thread because i didn't want to go off topic. This may have been discussed before, so sorry if it is a repeat.
Anyways,
I'm curious on what you think the relationship between these 2 variables is.
For those who do "think they are ugly", do you think this is due to your SA? Like do you think the reason you "think" you are ugly is because of your SA/SP, or is it the other way around; Do you think you have SA/SP because you think you are ugly?
For me, i really think the reason i have SA/SP is because i think i am ugly. I never really had any problems with SA/SP until i started looking at myself seriously (looks wise) and realized that my face was not perfectly symmetrical that i started thinking that i am too ugly and got really conscious about people looking at me.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Thinking you are ugly means you lack confidence-- and usually confidence is needed in order to be social.
That's what I think.

 

[Necrucifer]

I honestly think I am ugly...and I have SA and never leave the house barely so it may be and its another reason I find it hard to go out like I may look fine from the front but noticed when I look at my face sides left and right my nostrils are like my dads and my nose looks big...Also I have this beauty mark above my left side of my mouth close to my left part of my nose...so I also think that may be why I may think I am ugly...

I used to know some people who would think they were ugly and had SA but seemed people tried to talk to them all the time so it could be connected for some people so I would probably say yea it may be what is holding some people back from socializing for the people who think that way.

 

[AMunk3y]

Is that really true though? I know plenty of people who think they are ugly, and actually make fun of themselves, yet are extremely social and very confident.
I agree that there is a connection there, but i don't think it's that simple as lacking confidence.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Thinking you are ugly means you lack confidence-- and usually confidence is needed in order to be social.
That's what I think.

Agreed.

I have very, very low self-esteem (duly noted in almost all my posts where I shamelessly grill myself : and feel ugly (both personality and look-wise) as a result. I've been bullied and treated like an outcast almost my entire life and that's what caused my self-esteem to go downhill in the first place.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I suppose confidence can come from other things, then... or maybe this is an issue of self-loathing or extra sensitivity?

The way it seems to work for me is that I cannot look at myself in the mirror- I get paranoid; getting looks from people, getting stared at and because I think I am ugly, I believe that must be all anyone thinks about when they look at me.
It makes me terribly uncomfortable--- so I stay away from people.
I do hate myself, though. It's not just a matter of thinking I'm ugly on the outside-- I hate my insides as well. I think I'm stupid and terrible all 'round.
I feel like it's a lack of confidence; the inability to hold my head high, to laugh at myself- that makes me so phobic of people.

 

[Blabla..]

i'm almost 100% anxious because of the way i look , and from isolating myself for so long i'm loosing my speech skill so it makes it even worse , i swear if i was invisible i'd travel around the world tomorrow

 

[Necrucifer]

Can I join? being invisible and being able to travel the world right now seems relaxing to be honest haha....and I can agree more you isolate yourself the less it seems your able to even stand a chance socializing....I feel the same way.

 

[-lonestar-]

Many people find flaws in their looks when in fact they arent ugly. I believe people who like their appearence can gain confidence faster, since confidence is about loving yourself. SP can drastically alter how you view yourself either way, the difference can be if you look past the physical or obsess about it. SP is the extreme fear of being judged, I recall feeling ugly throughout highshool and wanted to hide from everyone and SP made me hate myself and not develop my social skills in any way.

 

[Blabla..]

well next step for me is not to like what i see in the mirror , but just let go and accept that this is what it is

 

[TheRadicalAnxiousLefty]

I had very bad skin when I was a teenager, and I picked at it constantly, due to my nerves. I was also overweight, and quite pale.

This meant that I rarely felt relaxed around women, as I was too busy thinking about how I appeared to them.

 

[*Amy*]

If you think you're ugly, then you have a lower self-esteem, and consequently, very low self-confidence. So yeah, my SA comes partly from the way I look.

 

[KiaKaha]

I think there is a definite connection between SA and thinking that you are ugly. For me its more of a conclusion, a hypothesis that must be correct. I think I am ugly simply because I cant figure out why people seem to look at me like I am complete garbage (and I realize how weak that sounds, but its not in my head, I can read body language just as well as anyone else)... seriously it does my head in why I am just so damn unlikeable, even before I actually do or say anything.. the only conclusion I can come too...is the way I look.
Besides I have posted my picture up before and have had zero reaction, so I guess that pretty much answers it. If you cant say something nice...

Low self esteem and self acceptance I have really big problems with. Somehow and somewhere along the way my brain has ingrained the message of " you are not OK...there is something wrong with you" and how people react to me just confirms it.

 

[MikeyC]

Thinking you are ugly means you lack confidence-- and usually confidence is needed in order to be social.
That's what I think.

Yep, agreed.

However, I think I'm ugly and I've had girls interested in me in the past. That hasn't changed my outlook on my appearance, though. I thought I may have had Body Dysmorphic Disorder, but I doubt it. It's just a self-esteem and a confidence issue I have that can one day be erased.

I'm not afraid to go out in public, which is good.

 

[MrJones]

Being ugly can lead to low self-esteem and then to not being able to socialize.
Not being able to socialize can lead to low self-esteem and then to think you're ugly.
They can be related, but of course it doesn't have to be always like this.

For me being ugly is not as bad as being laughed at for being ugly. When strangers shout at you in the street "****, you're so ugly!!" of course can decrease an already low confidence until it's almost nonexistent.

Anyway I've never been able to socialize like other kids, but I think that the way my looks have evolved through all those years is not helping.

And yes, it also makes me want to stay at home unless it's completely necessary.

 

[AMunk3y]

It seems that it's not really one that leads to the other, but that both can lead to each other (Rhyme!! )
SA can lead to thinking you are ugly, the same as thinking you are ugly can lead to SA

Is that you in the avatar and you think you´re ugly? Some people seem to have too much time on their hands or what
But to answer your question, I think I have both at the same time, what was first, the egg or the chicken?

well, you can't tell much from this small picture and also my problem is symmetry. I know that no one has perfectly symmetrical faces, but I'm positive that mine is more asymmetrical than normal. The only reason for that really is that my nose is broken and crooked, so my face looks different from the two sides and it makes me think i am ugly. Whether that is true or not, who knows.

 

[Siegfried]

I was thinking about doing a post like this because i feel the same way.

I believe that there is a connection, i have always worried about my appearance when i have to go somewhere, and when i actually do it i feel that people look at me and say things about me... always feel uncomfortable among the people.

Is very strange because I've noticed that there are women who are interested in me and they are very attractive... but i just keep thinking im ugly physically and also that I have nothing to offer to others.. i have so much time feeling myself this way that I have simply lost confidence and most of my self-esteem ... so if someone says something positive about my appearance i might not believe it haha, besides... is not a matter about what girls, friends or people in general think about me... is my confidence what is making me think so negative... and i know it, but it affects me anyway...

 

[this_portrait]

I used to think I looked hideous and didn't really start feeling comfortable in my own skin until I was around 17. Now, I can agree that I look above average without coming off as vain or conceited. I think I look a lot better than I used to.

On the other hand, SA has really messed up my personality. I come off as a not-so-nice person. Deep down, though, there's a much more positive me that I wish I knew how to express more. I only know how to express negative feelings (and sometimes I have a hard time even expressing those, depending on the context). It doesn't matter how good I look on the outside; I wouldn't be surprised if people think I'm ugly because my personality comes off as such.

 

[MikeyC]

Is very strange because I've noticed that there are women who are interested in me and they are very attractive... but i just keep thinking im ugly physically and also that I have nothing to offer to others.. i have so much time feeling myself this way that I have simply lost confidence and most of my self-esteem ... so if someone says something positive about my appearance i might not believe it haha, besides... is not a matter about what girls, friends or people in general think about me... is my confidence what is making me think so negative... and i know it, but it affects me anyway...

You've basically summed me up in a paragraph. Good to see others think the same way (actually, that's not good!). I never believe people when they compliment my appearance because I think they're being polite or sarcastic, even when I'm sure it's genuine. It even goes so far as to make me a little uncomfortable. It's merely an issue of self-esteem.

Whoaaaa, wait a sec. YOU think you're ugly? YOU!?
Christ.

Awwww, you are so awesome. Thank you.

From what I can see, (and this is just one opinion) are lot of people on here are really very attractive. Argh,society is so ****ed.

Yeah, I have to agree. Pretty much every girl who's posted a picture is pretty. Even some of the dudes, too!

 

[Nala]

In my case, I think it stems from the fact that I was bullied for the way I look and speak, and that changed me. My SA has made me very insecure, worthless and a loser, and that affects my self image. I'm also very bitter when I see other girls/women, because they all look better than me, and I know I can't reach that. It intimidates me.

So, I'd say the common factor is the feeling of being a lesser being.