Life Ramblings

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Since it's on their FB page, I'd make a post thanking them for finally taking YOUR ideas seriously and implementing them. Maybe you can give exact dates when you proposed them or a pretty close approximation. This would be purely for your satisfaction as I'm sure whoever at the company reads your post would deny they didn't listen to you and only moved on the ideas after you'd left and they probably wouldn't think you'd see it. This is just a way of you letting them know you saw what they did there and that it didn't go unnoticed. After all, what are they going to do? They can't write you up or otherwise reprimand you. You've already left.
This is petty as hell and I like it, haha. Not sure if I can bring myself to do that though. I'm not as pissed off as I was yesterday about it. It still sucks, but whatever. It is what it is. They're shitty people and even if they are using my idea(s), there's no way they can execute it as well as I could. If it works for other people, great. If they fail and can't seem to help others like they should be, then also good. People can move on and find another clinic or center to go to.

I haven't written off that side of nutrition entirely, but just about. I mean, I'm still somewhat open to the idea of running my own business and doing this sort of thing someday. No counseling whatsoever. Just everything education-based. But alas, it's just an idea pushed to the back of my mind. If I revisit it when I'm older, great. If I don't, I won't feel torn about it. I'm pretty comfortable where I'm at currently in my job/career. Plus the corporation as a whole expanded into having a separate nutrition analysis/science department at their main facility in Colorado. If that's the structure they're trying out there and it works, maybe they'll bring that to other locations as well, including where I work. That would be really interesting and definitely something I'd apply for.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I found FB to be extremely unhealthy for me. I don't regret deleting it and certainly don't miss it.
Oh absolutely. My overall emotional wellbeing has taken a complete 180 since not being active on FB and starting Prozac. I have felt 1000x's better and my mind is so much clearer too. Like I said I only downloaded it for a sale post I had to make, then I stupidly kept it around and fell back into dumb habits. I'll definitely be getting rid of it off my phone again.

I pretty much just stay on it for the memes and easy access to contacting people
The latter is why I've kept my profile, because I still keep in contact with a lot of friends and family that way. I did get a good chuckle seeing a lot of those memes again though lol. But hey, I've taken to lurking on reddit recently. I don't have an account, I just like to browse. There's some good memes on there too haha.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've started getting back into collecting Pokemon cards. I haven't collected any cards in nearly 20 years. The last set I purchased was Aquapolis, and I was so disappointed in the new look of those cards and a lot of the art styles that I quit collecting them. Just like at that same time I hated Gen 3 so much I quit playing the games. What can I say? I was a bitter kid haha. Thankfully Pokemon has redeemed themselves since then.

Last year I found all my old cards at my parents' house in their attic. It was neat to see them all again, and then I put them back in my own storage here. Last year during my unemployment I thought about selling them, but I decided not to and I'm glad I didn't. It's so nostalgic for me seeing my childhood collection, and the past month I've been thinking about collecting. That being said, I had no idea how stupidly expensive it has gotten since scalpers and internet personalities have quite literally turned the TCG into a stocks game. But I'm not partaking in that kind of gambling. Last month I purchased $10 worth of singles and have a list I'm gonna chip away at slowly of collecting my favorite 'Mons and artworks. I'm not collecting for investments or to get graded and then turn around and sell like most are seemingly doing sadly enough. I'm just collecting for nostalgia sake really. And I have to say, a lot of the new cards are absolutely beautiful! Too bad some of my wants are extremely pricey, which is why I definitely won't be purchasing them anytime soon.

Anyways, upon being bit by this nostalgia bug, I decided to frame the Southern Islands promo set I've had. This is the first (and only) complete promo set I've ever owned. No idea what childhood me did with the postcards, but I at least still have all my cards in decent shape. They're not perfect, definitely on the heavily played side, but they're not damaged at all. I decided to frame them since 1) I've always loved this set, 2) figured I should be taking care of them a little better and not let them sit around in a binder anymore, and 3) it's becoming quite a valuable set that I'm lucky enough to still have. I know this didn't come out 100% perfect; anyone who knows me knows I cannot measure properly or draw a straight line to save my ass even with using a ruler. But this was a fun project and I think it turned out great!

I used black acid-free poster board I specifically ordered from Amazon, Dragon Shield UV-protected card sleeves, acid-free adhesive sticky dots, and I got the frame cheap 50% off at my local craft store. I also sprayed the frame and glass with Krylon UV-Resistant clear gloss. Printed the logos on cardstock, cut them out, and mod-podged them too before adhering. Overall it only cost me ~$25 total with everything used. Compared to ~$100 or more for specialty made card frames. Nope wasn't spending that kind of money.
 

Attachments

  • IMG_20211109_170019_341.jpg
    IMG_20211109_170019_341.jpg
    195.7 KB · Views: 4

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I've started getting back into collecting Pokemon cards. I haven't collected any cards in nearly 20 years. The last set I purchased was Aquapolis, and I was so disappointed in the new look of those cards and a lot of the art styles that I quit collecting them. Just like at that same time I hated Gen 3 so much I quit playing the games. What can I say? I was a bitter kid haha. Thankfully Pokemon has redeemed themselves since then.

Last year I found all my old cards at my parents' house in their attic. It was neat to see them all again, and then I put them back in my own storage here. Last year during my unemployment I thought about selling them, but I decided not to and I'm glad I didn't. It's so nostalgic for me seeing my childhood collection, and the past month I've been thinking about collecting. That being said, I had no idea how stupidly expensive it has gotten since scalpers and internet personalities have quite literally turned the TCG into a stocks game. But I'm not partaking in that kind of gambling. Last month I purchased $10 worth of singles and have a list I'm gonna chip away at slowly of collecting my favorite 'Mons and artworks. I'm not collecting for investments or to get graded and then turn around and sell like most are seemingly doing sadly enough. I'm just collecting for nostalgia sake really. And I have to say, a lot of the new cards are absolutely beautiful! Too bad some of my wants are extremely pricey, which is why I definitely won't be purchasing them anytime soon.

Anyways, upon being bit by this nostalgia bug, I decided to frame the Southern Islands promo set I've had. This is the first (and only) complete promo set I've ever owned. No idea what childhood me did with the postcards, but I at least still have all my cards in decent shape. They're not perfect, definitely on the heavily played side, but they're not damaged at all. I decided to frame them since 1) I've always loved this set, 2) figured I should be taking care of them a little better and not let them sit around in a binder anymore, and 3) it's becoming quite a valuable set that I'm lucky enough to still have. I know this didn't come out 100% perfect; anyone who knows me knows I cannot measure properly or draw a straight line to save my ass even with using a ruler. But this was a fun project and I think it turned out great!

I used black acid-free poster board I specifically ordered from Amazon, Dragon Shield UV-protected card sleeves, acid-free adhesive sticky dots, and I got the frame cheap 50% off at my local craft store. I also sprayed the frame and glass with Krylon UV-Resistant clear gloss. Printed the logos on cardstock, cut them out, and mod-podged them too before adhering. Overall it only cost me ~$25 total with everything used. Compared to ~$100 or more for specialty made card frames. Nope wasn't spending that kind of money.

I used to collect Pokemon Cards as a kid, I had an almost complete set of the original ones but they got stolen. I was devastated and stopped trying to collect them. I got a pile of mixed pokemon cards a couple years ago intending to pick up collecting again but I just havent committed to it
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I used to collect Pokemon Cards as a kid, I had an almost complete set of the original ones but they got stolen. I was devastated and stopped trying to collect them. I got a pile of mixed pokemon cards a couple years ago intending to pick up collecting again but I just havent committed to it
Man that sucks about your cards being stolen. I actually had almost complete sets of the Jungle, Fossil, and Neo Destiny as a kid. I never got to finish them and when I quit collecting I gave away over half of my collection to a cousin. Thankfully I didn't get rid of too many holos, as I still have most of them. Have plenty of the more "plain" cards too. I since purchased a new proper binder to protect them better and have some of the more valuable holos double-sleeved now. Granted my cards aren't worth a whole lot, but it's nice to see them looking better than in clouded card sleeves in a three-ring binder.

I hope you can get back into collecting again. Some of the prices on cards is absolutely stupid, but most newer non-holos, especially commons and uncommons, are dirt cheap given the over-saturation of them on the market currently as everyone chases the secret rares, Charizards, Pikachus, and whatnot. They can keep chasing and wasting their money, I'll just take my cute little Mareeps and Marills. 🥰
 
Ooh, Pokemon cards... I didn't have very many back in the day, but my prized possession for a few years was one of the original holographic Charizards that I got in a booster pack for Christmas one year. Charizard was my favorite Pokemon, naturally, and I don't know how rare they actually were, but I was the only person I knew who had one. That was back when everybody was collecting them to some degree.

I don't remember enough details about it to figure out what it might be worth today, but I think my older brother stole it and sold it ~15 years ago. If I still had it, I don't think I would ever sell it.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Ooh, Pokemon cards... I didn't have very many back in the day, but my prized possession for a few years was one of the original holographic Charizards that I got in a booster pack for Christmas one year. Charizard was my favorite Pokemon, naturally, and I don't know how rare they actually were, but I was the only person I knew who had one. That was back when everybody was collecting them to some degree.

I don't remember enough details about it to figure out what it might be worth today, but I think my older brother stole it and sold it ~15 years ago. If I still had it, I don't think I would ever sell it.
I have an original Charizard as well. I never pulled it myself though, I got it in a trade somehow but I don't even remember what I traded lol. Came to me damaged but little me didn't care because it was the coolest card to own at the time. I guess it still is, but I have other holos I love more.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
This time of year has me like

 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Holy hell what a work week I had. 6 days, 54 labor hours. I'm exhausted and grumpy. I honestly haven't done a damn thing today besides braving crowds to pick up some last minute groceries at the store this morning. I also don't feel good because my GI system is messed up from this work week. Too much running around and not eating right, and probably not enough either. Bleh. I'm trying to get back on track though, especially since I'll be stuffing my face tomorrow with the holiday. 😁 I've been eating healthy today, staying hydrated, and I took extra probiotics. Stomach feels somewhat better, but I still need some TLC.

I've been glued to the couch most of the afternoon because of all that. I managed to get a nap in, but feel like I could use another.

I did also start chipping away at my gift list this week too. I love and hate this time of year. I love the holidays because I enjoy gift giving, but at the same time I hate them because 1) 5 birthdays + Christmas + other usual expenses = so much damn money spent even though I do budget for it, and 2) I hate having to figure out what to get for people I never see. Particularly my sister-in-law and her family. We never see them, I barely know what anyone's interests are. No one else in the family knows either because they literally never see anyone. I'd easily do a family experience kind of gift -- like tickets to the zoo or something, but they don't go anywhere, partly because of money, partly because they really don't care and prefer to stay at home all the time. Plus the only time they can ever go anywhere is if their dad is home since she doesn't drive and refuses to get her license. (I do not understand this girl, I really don't. I don't want to be judgy, but I really can't help it. I don't understand their lifestyle at all.) I don't like buying toys because I know between 3 boys they have a ton. And they're not the sit down and read type either, so no books. So.... I'm pretty stuck. I only have their girl figured out and I'm making a blanket for her, just like I made her brothers blankets last year before she was born. Making a blanket for our other niece as well. I got the material ordered and should be here next week.

I nearly have Mr. Phoenixx done already though. FIL birthday gift is also done. One gift for the oldest nephew also done, but haven't decided if it'll be for Christmas or birthday. I have others figured out but not purchased yet either. Mr. Phoenixx and I both normally make at least half of the gifts every year by hand, but with the cost of supplies -- craft, art, etc. -- it's just about the same cost to buy something instead. Besides neither of us has really had time to make anything yet and probably won't either. I plan on making SOME things, but not as much as I usually do.

On top of everything I'm working on paying off my student loans. I know I'm going crazy with the spending this month, but I'm expecting a pay raise and a holiday bonus next month. No idea how much, I just know it's coming from other coworkers mentioning it. So I know I'm kind of spending blindly, but I really want them gone. I'm SO CLOSE to having them done with. It's been 10 years of debt now. I'm tired of it hanging over my head. This month has treated me well pay-wise already working overtime, and I have more overtime scheduled for next week, so I might as well put it towards this too.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've been fighting fatigue this week pretty hard. The last couple nights I've found myself tossing and turning a lot and having weird dreams. I'm not sure what's causing it exactly. Mattress sucks? Keep getting thrown in to working overtime again? Stress from holidays coming up? All of the above? No idea.

I'll be going back to bed here soon because I have a 12 hour shift to work today. The shitty 2pm - 2:30am shift, not the nice 10am - 10pm shift. 😑
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Covid has hit my department fast and hard and I suspect it will only get worse with the holidays. Three people are already out because of covid -- either they have it or were in contact with someone else who had it. Our department in the company is one of the smallest, so having three people out already puts a lot of strain on us. I have another day of overtime Saturday, and probably another 12 hour day scheduled next week I imagine. The schedule will be out today so we'll see. It's good money, but it sucks. I'm still tired from this week.

Also not happy because the one (unvaccinated) coworker CAME IN SICK a couple days ago only to leave early the same day because she was sick. If she already knew she was sick, why the hell did she come in? I don't care if she was wearing a mask, she willingly put others at risk and lied about answering "no" to the covid questionnaire. We have temp check stations at every entrance into the building, but with how cold it has been outside I don't think it was able to pick up her temp. (She did have a fever) If more people get sick because of her I hope she gets fired. I have zero tolerance for this crap anymore and stupid Americans politicizing a health crisis and doing whatever they want. Don't want a vaccine? Fine, don't get it, but the least you could do is still be taking all the extra precautions and not putting people at risk. Of course I'm equally bothered because I was working with her that day. I'm vaccinated, but that still doesn't prevent me from getting it. They had maintenance come in and sanitize the lab, but I feel like that's not enough. I'm going to keep an eye on myself for any symptoms still and wear a mask for the next couple weeks wherever I go.

Today I plan on catching up on sleep and putting up Christmas decorations. I'm so looking forward to staying home all day and not having to go anywhere.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've been in a weird headspace the last couple days. I want to write (type) about it but I don't know what to even write to organize my thoughts. I'll probably make a post sometime this week or next when I get some time to myself where I'm not trying to sleep.

Been feeling grumpy, anxious, tired, and lonely lately. Ugh, I'm so freaking tired. No overtime this week thankfully, but I still have not been resting enough from all that I've been doing the last couple weeks. Just when I thought I caught up on sleep the other day, I worked another late night the first day back to work and haven't recovered since. My brain has felt like mush the last couple days, can't remember shit either and have been making stupid mistakes at work again. I forgot to fill out a couple boxes on one of our data sheets after making control vials the other night. It's not a big deal if it's missed, as it can be filled out when they're ran the next day, along with the other information that needs to be recorded anyways. But my one coworker was a bit of a dick about it yesterday when he brought it up to me. He's been in a mood all week too. He got after a driver who was leaving the other day too for not punching in their ID number prior to leaving. Again, no big deal if they don't because you -- working in the screening lab by yourself -- can access it in the system for them, especially if they forget it which happens a lot with the older guys.

Regardless of how you're feeling, it's December folks. The world sucks and it's been another shitty year. Let's all be a little kinder towards each other right now, yeah?
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
My negative feelings are starting to subside a little, but I'm still feeling a bit on edge today. I'm mostly just tired. Tired of working, tired of not having time to myself, tired of going like a hamster on a wheel. This morning -- the one morning where I was looking forward to having some peace and quiet at home and not having to go anywhere before work -- my work called and left a voicemail asking me to come in early because someone called in on first shift. Of course. :rolleyes: I like the money, but jesus christ. The past two weeks I've had nothing but overtime. I need to rest, damn it.

This whole week I've been getting less than 8 hours of sleep a night. I get home from work and it's like my brain can't rest. Hyped up on going so much that when it's time to rest it's still going. I've been falling asleep between 11:30 and midnight (or sometimes a little later) now instead of between 10:30 and 11 like I normally do. And then waking up a few times in the night between my husband getting up for work and my cat too. She's started with another ear infection again. It's barely been 2 months since the last time this happened. I don't know what's causing it, her ears aren't even dirty and she's an indoor cat so it's not like she has mites either. I'm hoping it's not an allergy to something. I'm trying to avoid a vet trip right now so I bought her some corticosteroid ear medicine at the pet store yesterday while I was out. I got some in her yesterday, she didn't fight me too bad but I definitely got all the dirty looks, and I need to do it everyday for a week. I hope it works.

On top of this I've been feeling pretty lonely. I haven't seen my husband much at all the last couple weeks. On his days off he's been hanging out with his family and I've been working. On my days off, he's obviously at work and I only see him for the few hours at night when he comes home. I haven't talked to any friends in ages either and I can't seem to bring myself to. Lonely, yet don't want to reach out because it's better to be alone than to bother others with your needs or problems.

I have been thinking about the past year a lot this week. Not 2021, but 2020. A lot of my feelings from 2020 carried over into 2021 and I'm still processing all that I went through. I feel like I need to be over it by now, but a lot happened. And I don't think I let myself grieve properly over everything -- husband's grandfather passed, Thalia passed, two former friends from high school passed, the career I thought I wanted and expected to have ended entirely, professional relationships severed (definitely for the best, but it still hurt). And I certainly didn't have a good therapist to help me work through all the thoughts and emotions I should've had help working through. But I also wasn't open about a lot of things because I didn't think it affected me as much as it did.

Last week would've been a former friend's birthday. Whenever this date came around I always thought of her because she was the only person I knew who's birthday landed on Thanksgiving or near it. We were pretty close as kids. We hung out in Spanish class all the time in high school. Hung out in study halls too if we had them together. Senior year in study hall we would go outside with a couple of our other friends and hang out when the weather was nice. High school sucked immensely, but some of my favorite memories were with her. I hate that she went down the path she chose though. I hate that she changed after high school and kept finding trouble. I hate that she chose drugs. I hate that her family pretended like they were happy when clearly there was a lot of f-ed up shit below the surface. She was a really decent person when I knew her, a fun-loving person who didn't deserve the life she wound up having. The life she thought she had to choose because she was someone who always had to try something once. But I think she lived that way because she was a lot lonelier than anyone knew. Always choosing to hang with the wrong people and eventually doing all the wrong things. While I'm still glad I cut ties when I did, I still feel bad you know? I don't blame myself, I just feel sorrow. I feel bad that her life ended the way it did and so freaking young at that. I feel bad that she chose to do so many shitty things and then she left behind 3 kids that have to be cared for by their (now divorced) grandparents.

It's been over a year since she's been gone. I grieved longer than I like to admit over her death, even though we hadn't talked since 2013. I sent the family a card in the mail at the time of her passing, but I never heard back from them. I don't think they even held a funeral for her, or at least not a public one. At the time the state was still in covid lockdown, so no public funerals or calling hours were still being held.

Alas, what happened happened. It sucks, but in a way maybe it was for the best. Who knows what more trouble she would've been getting into. But I also feel bad that she never got the chance to turn herself around either. But would she though? I don't know. I just find myself still missing the person I used to hang out with because a part of me, for a while, thought that she would come back around eventually and work on bettering herself. Not back to me necessarily, but just her realizing she could be doing better and actually working on that.
 
Last edited:

Phoenixx

Well-known member
My mood has not really improved all that much this week thanks to work. I'm so tired of the overtime. I'm so tired of being tired. I'm so tired of coming home, going right to bed, getting up in the morning and doing my usual routine, then having to go back to sleep again before leaving for work and can't get anything else done in the meantime. I'm so tired of this affecting my life so much I'm not even eating that much nor am I talking to anyone. A friend has been texting me this week but I haven't been keeping up with any of her messages. I can't even bring myself to socialize with the people I care about because I'm so freaking tired.

I'm also tired of the covid shit and people not caring. We're back to seeing a spike in cases again nationwide, no surprise there. My state has issued an indoor mask mandate again regardless of vaccination status, and allowing businesses to enforce proof of vaccination prior to entry, but essentially left it up to the counties to enforce. So you know counties without any of the larger cities -- like mine -- aren't going to give two shits about any of it. And then they wonder why our hospitals are full again and can't even provide aid to people who have non-covid emergencies. The state is also refusing to offer any extra aid or supplies, which in a way I kinda hate but I also can't blame them either. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, and don't expect to get any help or sympathy if you can't abide by the rules.

My department at work at least got 2 people back from quarantine, but the one girl is still out and will be for a while as she's still pretty sick. It sucks and I hope she makes it through okay, but at the same time I can't help but feel this is karma for all the anti-vaxx garbage she would spew at work. "I already had covid once so I don't need the vaccine," "I'm not getting it, I'm not an experiment," "The people who are vaccinated are the ones shedding the virus!" etc. etc. Congrats! You got covid again and proceeded to try and spread it through the lab out of sheer stupidity! It's a wonder you didn't put other people at risk more than you did. :rolleyes:

Meanwhile Mr. Phoenixx's work schedule changed for winter as usual so starting this week he'll be on 10-hr days for 4 days a week working at the main shop that's 2 hours away. Because of that he's chose to stay near there crashing at coworkers' places at least one night a week. I understand why he's doing it, and I love that he has good connections to help him out so I don't have to worry about him so much, but it does suck that I really don't get to see him right now. He'll be getting 4 weeks off here soon though, so that'll be nice. It's just a matter of getting there. I feel like the days are dragging right now and it's exhausting.

Christmas gifts are almost all complete. I have 3 left to still make that I actually haven't even started. I haven't even had the time. I will this weekend though, so hopefully I can finish everything in a couple days time with Mr. Phoenixx's help.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I'm eager for the holidays to get here and be done, but at the same time I still want to enjoy them. I feel like I still have so much to do and so little time to do it.

Christmas gifts are almost all done. Yay! Of the handmade gifts, the serving trays are my favorite. Not gonna lie, I'm a little jelly. Think I'll have to make myself one too now, haha. 😄

Tomorrow I'm making Christmas cookies with my mom. That'll get 75% of my baking out of the way and done in one day. On top of working this week I need to find time to clean the house since I'll have his family over next Tuesday and I'm making a dinner. On one hand I'm hoping his sister comes because I would love to see the kids, but if she doesn't that's also 6 less people in the house I have to worry about. Who knows what she's doing. She's often a no-show anyways and won't even bother to say anything either. I don't mind when people don't show up, but the least you can do is be courteous and let someone know you're not coming instead of a host prepping for X amount of people only to serve half as many. Food ain't cheap right now, damn it. Even when making everything from scratch. I know most leftovers can be give to family and froze, but that's not really the point here.

On a side note, I made my very last student loan payment yesterday. 😁 I paid off the last chunk of it, despite spending a shit ton of money this month anyways. I really didn't want to have to worry about another tax document for the following year after next, nor did I want to have to worry about interest kicking back in after January. Ending 2021 by paying off 10 years of debt feels pretty freaking good. Once I get that little document saying 0.00 balance and I shut that account down permanently, then I'll feel REALLY good. Hell yeah! ✊
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
The holidays came and went in a whirlwind as I expected they would. I baked so many cookies and have had so many sweets, I'm already tired of it lol. I tried making old fashioned brown sugar fudge for the first time last week and.... it failed. At least I failed in a good way -- I didn't get it to a high enough temp, and I stirred it too much, so it ended up separating and staying soft. So instead of having to waste it, I ended up turning it into blondies by adding a couple eggs and some flour. Candy and confection making has never been my thing, but I also don't have much practice with it, so I'm not surprised it didn't turn out. I'm just happy I could turn it into something else and didn't have to chuck it.

Christmas morning was nicely spent with Mr. Phoenixx and the furbabies. I spoiled them all this year and Willow had so much fun opening her gifts. I think the cats enjoyed interrupting the gift wrapping process this whole month than what they actually got. :LOL: (They got a pack of fuzzy mice and a couple birdie toys) Mr. Phoenixx really likes the soundbar I got him and he dove right into Red Dead Redemption 2. I also got him Assassin's Creed Valhalla, but he hasn't even touched that yet as he's been really enjoying the other. Mr. Phoenixx got me a really nice handmade nightstand, as he knows I'm getting ready to redo the bedroom sometime next year too. Made out of beautiful cherry wood. I want to go to where he purchased it and get another now so we have a pair.

I did have to work later that day, but I was fine with that. It was a busy day, but I got paid holiday time and still made it home before 11pm.

Yesterday we went to my parents' house and did Christmas with them since we were all off from work. It was actually a pretty nice. Didn't feel rushed nor did it feel like an inconvenience for my dad. My dad actually sat with us and talked and had dinner, something he never usually does.
I helped my mom with dinner since her cooking skills have sadly gone downhill the last few years since she pretty much stopped cooking because both my dad and my brother seem to want to eat out all the time. Not saying her food is bad, but it used to be much better when we were kids. Hell my dad's cooking was good too growing up. Now neither one of them can seem to be bothered sadly. But I think everyone was relieved when I stepped in lol.

It was another year spent with my brother not getting a single thing for anyone though due to "not having money". The same excuse he tends to have every year. Even when people are short on money they can always make something. Even if he baked cookies or something and screwed them up, I would be happy to receive it because I know thought and effort got put into it. Last year I didn't even get him anything because of his attitude, but this year I felt I needed to but didn't want to spend a lot, so I got him some slippers. I was expecting him to complain, but he actually really liked them.

Today was really disappointing though. I was supposed to have Christmas with my in-laws and only my brother-in-law and my father-in-law showed. Mr. Phoenixx and I were both a little upset honestly. He had talked to his family again last week about today -- a date we planned a month ago, if the time would still work. His brother ended up having to work today, but would be out in the afternoon, and his work is only 15 mins away, so it was decided to move dinnertime to later in the afternoon instead of earlier. His mom and dad both agreed that that would work. His sister said her husband had to work, so that automatically counted her out despite the fact she could've had a ride here with her kids from her parents. Then today we get told at the last minute only his brother and father were coming because a) his brother's wife was coming down with something and the kids were sick too so she went to go get everyone tested for COVID (completely understandable and I don't blame her; they did a rapid test and everything came back negative thankfully, everyone just has nasty colds) and b) his mom decided at the last minute she didn't feel like going despite agreeing last week. :rolleyes: So we had dinner just the 4 of us today with a ton of leftovers since I originally cooked for 8 people. We opened our gifts and sent all the other gifts home with them to their recipients. Mr. Phoenixx refused to send his sister's family's gifts along and wants to give them to her in person since she never bothers to visit. Petty me didn't send home much food for mother-in-law and I definitely didn't set any aside for sister-in-law's family. I definitely gave brother-in-law quite a bit because I know his wife and the kids would've came if it wasn't for them being sick. I froze the rest of what I had left so we can have dinners to take out on busy nights home late from work. Same for the desserts too. I sent a few cookies and candies home to mother-in-law, but made sure brother-in-law got a nice plate to share with the family and sister-in-law got nothing. 🤷‍♀️

After today I'm done with their wishy-washy BS. I'm no longer going out of my way to do any dinners for his family. We always attend their functions, and even Mr. Phoenixx goes without me if I have to work, but no one can seem to be bothered to do the same for us. So no more. Next year I would love to plan a Friendsgiving again with all our friends as we know they'll plan way ahead to make it work. Pretty sad they live farther away than our families and yet can still make it to things we plan. :rolleyes:

Despite that I still had a pretty good holiday. I'm enjoying getting up every morning right now and having breakfast with Mr. Phoenixx and watching TV. Everyday feels like the weekend, even when I have to work. ☺️

Edit: Forgot to upload a picture of the cute little reindeer I had in my house Christmas morning. 🥰
 

Attachments

  • Screenshot 2021-12-28 9.36.12 PM.png
    Screenshot 2021-12-28 9.36.12 PM.png
    700 KB · Views: 2

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Wanted to do a separate end of the year post. 2021 was okay overall, definitely better than 2020 by a long shot, but still kinda sucked.

Didn't start off great. Quarantined beginning of the year from covid exposure, stayed at my previous shit job for another three months, my anxiety and depression reached a breaking point for me, and tried therapy for a third time only for it to not be helpful yet again. Summer was shit, got nothing done, lost all my goats because of an asshole who lied to me originally about their health, lost 90% of my garden because weather was terrible and had no time to tend to it.

The shitty things really sucked, but the good things have been pretty great. I landed a really good job that was apparently harder to get into than I thought. Had no idea this company was so picky with the hiring process, yet my two interviews went really well and I got hired within a week back in March and started April 1st. Most people were surprised when I told them my process as some had waited a few weeks to hear anything back, and others they knew that applied didn't get in at all. While it's not a superb company and there's still a lot of faults, I am extremely lucky to be in the department I am in. Management in my department is great and taken seriously. I've never held a job where management actually did their job and did it correctly, so it's nice to be treated like a human being and see others being treated fairly too. Too bad not all the departments have that kind of management though. I'm also FINALLY making a living wage for once in my life, with a pay raise coming to start off the new year. Mr. Phoenixx also saw a small wage increase this year, with plenty of overtime, and since I took on the benefits for both of us he was able to earn supplemental income for the first time. Between the both of us, we're finally earning the money to live pretty damn comfortably. Even with that being said though, my resolution this year is to allocate the extra funds to paying off other debts, investing in another retirement plan aside from our 401k's, building up our savings more, and getting the house fixed up. While we have good income coming in now, I still worry about money given how our country is and everything going on. With Mr. Phoenixx's job being so high-risk I still worry about something happening that will cost substantial amounts of money towards healthcare and all our income will be drained, and/or he winds up on a disability and requires routine care and checkups. Yep, gotta love our American healthcare. :rolleyes: I also worry about another depression or recession in the near future as well. That's why I like to budget as much as I do, pay off debts when we can, and look into investing elsewhere. Because no matter what happens, I want to still be able to survive and have a roof over my head and afford basic necessities if the worse is to happen.

This year was about external projects: getting the new roof/carport installed above the shop, adding gravel to the driveway, getting some external structures off the property that the previous owners just left laying around that had no use, and cutting down some tall nearby trees that really posed a hazard. Next year I'm focusing on the inside, starting next week by remodeling the entire upstairs and hoping to finish by early spring. Electric needs to be redone safely, walls need to be painted, carpet ripped up and new floors installed, whole new bathroom put in because what's up there is so old and I hate using it, new lighting put in, and the stairs that are there are going to get ripped out and have new ones installed. That last part was unexpected, but given how old and soft the wood is it's probably better to re-install hardwood than stripping the paint and re-staining. We're setting aside at least half of his supplemental income for all this, so I'm hoping to be able to stretch that money with everything that needs to be done by finding some sales and seeking out the local ReStore first before going to big box stores.

On top of that, I've also had such a turn around with my depression and anxiety since I started ProZac. I really wish I looked into this sooner. The first 8 weeks were hell with the fatigue, but after getting past that, it's such a difference what I feel everyday. While I still have my down days and my anxious days, they're no where near as common as they used to be. I'm back to sleeping through most of the night without waking up too much, I'm back to going about my days without a single tension headache most of the time, when simple mistakes occur at work or in social settings I find I don't beat myself up over it as often either. When I'm working in the screening lab, where I'm socializing in short bursts throughout my shift, I no longer feel super anxious. A lot of the drivers know me now and joke with me. I get to hear stories of their travels and families and it's quite interesting to listen to. I love working in that lab by myself and seeing most of those people. I do get the rare occasion where a questionable person comes in that has me feel guarded, but thankfully I've never had an issue and if I did, security is literally a phone call away and 100 ft or so from my lab from the outside. Overall I really enjoy my job most days, even though it can tire me out and the overtime absolutely sucks when it's scheduled.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
The year is already starting out fairly stressful and with a lot on my plate. Don't have the time to make an elaborate post, but I did want to jot down a few thoughts because my brain can't really handle much at the moment.

Work is running me down pretty hard. Had to immediately work 12 hrs on Thursday and haven't recovered since. Yesterday was a super busy day at work even though I didn't have overtime. While I was at work I got a series of texts from my mother and she was rushed to the ER with atrial fibrillation and was monitored the entire afternoon into the night for any signs of heart attack. Her heart rate normalized and her blood pressure finally came down last night from being pretty high. Her bloodwork looked good otherwise so they released her with aspirin and told her to contact her doctor and a follow-up with a cardiologist as soon as she could after the weekend. I did call her and offered to come straight to the hospital, but they were only monitoring and nothing else was happening so I stayed at work. Besides hospitals and clinics are like dodging covid bullets right now. I hope she didn't catch anything while there, and I didn't want to risk catching anything either if possible since I'm not yet boostered (scheduled for next week).

I won't delve into the other family drama right now, but I'm pretty pissed at my father and brother at the moment and their lack of attention. I'm pissed at the whole situation too, including my mother's brushing off of her own health. Just thankful that my aunt was available to take her to the ER without her needing an ambulance trip as her doctor refused to let her drive as he was afraid it would've caused a heart attack.

I'm still concerned though. She's not out of the woods and I hope no one thinks that she's "fine" just because she was released. She says she has a headache today and she texted me the same message three times already this morning after answering it the first time. Unsure if it's a combination of lack of sleep and not being able to take her medication last night or if I should now be worried about stroke, as that's always an increased risk factor with heart issues. I tried calling her earlier too, but she didn't answer. I'll try again soon before I start getting ready for work.
 
Top