Life Ramblings


Well-known member
My mother is doing a lot better this week so far, which is good. She had a follow-up with a cardiologist yesterday and they're scheduling her for a few tests, including a sleep test and stress test to see what exactly caused her afib and her blood pressure to rise so much. Right now they're leaning more towards suspecting sleep apnea. Apparently it's genetic on her mother's side which I didn't know. Which, again, makes me ask why in the world does she not bother getting frequent check-ups at the doctor because of her conditions and because of her genetics? I also found out she stopped taking her heart medication a while ago because "she no longer needed it" and she felt "fine" without it. She has had a lifelong heart murmur and has been on medication for it for about half of her life I believe. Why she decided she didn't need it I don't know. Makes me think that also may have contributed to her afib.

I just really hate that no one in my family can be bothered to take care of themselves. Because then when something goes wrong, it falls to me. Always me. I'm the "smart" one and the one who "notices everything." I know when something's not right and I apparently know how to make things right when things go wrong. It's so aggravating that my brother nor my father can be bothered to care for my mother the way she should be cared for. Hell they can't even be bothered to care for themselves and their bodies like they should be cared for. It's aggravating that they go to me like I'm some sort of expert in the health field. I'm not a doctor, I'm not a nurse. I have some health knowledge, mostly nutritional, and probably a little more than the average person thanks to college, but that's it. And just because I'm a woman doesn't automatically define me as a caretaker. The day one of my parents dies is going to be a mess. I'm going to be the one doing all the work and arrangements, guaranteed.

In other news, my vacation for next week finally got approved, so I'll be having a week off starting next Sunday. I'm looking forward to it. Between what's been happening with my mom and what's been happening with covid again here -- it's starting to feel like 2020 all over again, ugh -- I've been feeling really burnt out and just plain depressed. I don't want to get up in the morning, I just want to lay around most of the day. I find myself putting on a face at work, and then feeling entirely drained by the time I get back to my car to head home. I've been trying to not be so gloomy while I'm at home either. I feel like because it's coming up to Mr. Phoenixx's last couple weeks at home before he heads back to work I want him to enjoy his time off still and not worry about me. So yeah, I feel drained. I desperately just want to be left alone to be moody for a little while.


Well-known member
My vacation came and went by so fast, but it was desperately needed. The first couple days were spent cooped up inside. We had a wicked snow storm come through which didn’t dump as much snow as we expected, but it was pretty damn cold and has stayed cold since. Those couple days cooped up inside were spent napping, snacking, and literally being lazy haha. I needed it, because the rest of the week we’ve been working as much as we could upstairs and I’ve been catching up on errands.

The upstairs remodel has been taking a bit longer than I thought it would, but we’ve also had to do things I didn’t consider at all. We ripped down the ceilings and the walls and have had to replace the insulation because it was incredibly old and we really were not comfortable with the amount of cardboard that was up there with it. We also found some wires underneath that literally lead to nothing, must’ve led to something at one point, but were capped off yet still hot. Yeah huge fire hazard. We’ll be ripping those out too. Thankfully I’ve been able to be under budget for a lot of the items we’ve needed. So far the most costly service we have yet to do is the plumbing and electric. I know plumbers and other professionals aren’t cheap, but for as simple of a job the guy mentioned it would be for the plumbing, we still weren’t expecting what we were quoted for. And that wasn’t even including the electric they were also going to do which was starting out at $150 - $200 alone just for them to walk through the door. :oops: We’ve decided to let his uncle redo our electric, which will be A LOT cheaper and still done professionally, and just pay for the plumbing. I doubt even getting a second opinion elsewhere would be much cheaper as far as the plumbing goes as we’re basically flipping where the tub and toilet used to be and we need a vent installed as this bathroom didn’t even have one.

I still never made the call to get a quote done on replacement windows though. I need to get it done, but I’ve been procrastinating because I’m anxious and I’ve never done this before. I’m also anxious about the cost too, but it needs to be done. I just need to suck it up and make the call already.

Despite everything taking longer, I’m pretty excited to get everything done and have a whole new living space. I’m so over looking at blank white walls and carpet. I just hope we’ll be moved upstairs by March or April.

Today’s my last day of vacation before going back to work tomorrow, so I plan on being lazy the rest of the day. It’s so cold today that I don’t even have the motivation to do anything otherwise. It dipped down into the negative double digits last night and is currently sitting at 0 degrees F. The furnace has struggled to keep up to temp today, but it’s still warmer in here than I thought it would be. I’m still bundled up on the couch though and plan to stay that way.